I wondered if anyone might offer advice or reassurance. We have a 12 week old labradoodle, who to all intents and purposes looks like and is the size of a lab puppy. We've had him 2.5 weeks. I've always wanted a dog, and 4 years ago whilst we still had cats we had a failed attempt at owning a working cocker which was far from an easy experience (we managed 8 months). This time we researched well, refused to chose from a photo and insisted on waiting til the puppies were 4 weeks, met the parents etc. Otto is 12 weeks now and on the whole comparatively easy compared with the spaniel! He's 95% toilet trained, sleeps in his crate at night downstairs mostly ok after a week in our room and settles on the floor after a good play. Yet I'm crying every day, the kids (13 and 11) think I've lost it. What makes me cry? Anything that doesn't go right? What doesn't go right? Well he bites me lots but I get that and know it passes. Worst is yelling when put him in the crate in the day, despite sleeping in there, eating in there, a fresh stuffed kong and all the usual advice followed. The reality is I do have to leave the house, I've taken 2 weeks off and only working 2 mornings this week with a neighbour popping in then its xmas. He vomits and drools in the car, even on short journeys. He pees and covwers when he sees his colkar/lead/harness. I shouldn't be upset and should like my puppy. He's cute. Do I let him cry for short periods in the crate? It would be 30-90mins max. Is this going to lead to fear of the crate and separation anxiety? I think I'm scarred by the spaniel experience. Any advice or reassurance would be amazing. I dont think I'm mad. I do a responsible job!
Hi, I'm so sorry your having these problems with your boy. I can only say I promise it does get better and quite soon. I was like you, crying at the slightest thing,I felt out of my depth completely. Our pup hated her collar and ran away, we just tried to reassure her, sitting on the floor with her collar and treating her when she came close. It took time and patience. She also was very nervous when out lead walking so I did the same, just stood and waited until she herself chose to walk on. Isla also hated the car and barked and cried. She was in a crate in the back. We took her out and put a car harness on her and I sat with her. It took a few months but gradually she calmed down and we were able to get her back in her crate. Although she wasn't sick. Good luck and I hope things are more settled soon
Oh bless you, I could have written exactly the same thing. My Cooper (lab) is now 6 months. He also was miserable in the crate, actually still is but we need it far less now. I cried for about 4 weeks solid by the way - I have no idea why. I can only assume it was something to do with having this extremely needy baby, yet no clue how to help him. He vomited or toileted every single time we went in the car, in fact often both, and he was clearly terrified. He hates his collar too, and the lead/harness. However we've progressed a lot in that he's learnt that walks are great fun... But yet still cowers in the corner when we get the collar/harness out. My other dog on the other hand, leaps for joy. It's such a contrast!! Cooper still drools in the car, and we only still do short journeys, but is not sick/doesn't toilet. He will tolerate a short trip but we can't explore much at the moment as he'd just be sick. Small steps, now I've seen how far we've progressed I can see there is light at the end of the tunnel! You will definitely get there. It's hard though isn't it!!
Thank you so much. I know in my calm moments that it's about small steps, some forward some backwards but it is hard in the heat of the moment. Your reply is really reassuring though so thank you x
Thanks so much for your helpful reply.bit sounds v similar. I think we might try the back seat as we have a harness clip seatbelt thing. Irony is we have a campervan and our vision is to have lovely holidays innit with him The crate is hard. He settles no fuss at night (after much work!) Yet yells during the day even when he would otherwise go to sleep. As you say in time he won't need it but sadly for now he does for his safety and our furniture. I just worry I'm going to give him separation anxiety, but of course he may just learn to settle. Thank you again it is comforting to hear I'm not alone, especially in my emotions! I'm usually not a crier!
It's sounds like you are doing everything right. You can't expect much to go to plan in those first few weeks....it can be so stressful. It might be worth sitting in the car with him for a minute or so without actually going anywhere, lots of treats and build it up slowly? Everything comes together eventually...lot's of ups and downs. Behaviours will fade out then new ones pop up. No shame in having a cry...puppy's turn your life upside down for a while but with patience you will get there.
Thanks for the kind words. We're trying to take it all really slowly. There is do much conflicting advice out there, it's hard to not feel like you are always doing something wrong! And real life seems to quite different to the idealistic advice out there. But words from people who have been there really help. Thank you x
This usually happens when people have not followed crate training steps and alone training steps in an incremental way which the puppy can accept - only moving onto the next step when the puppy is ok at the previous step. If you go too far, too fast, to a point where the puppy can't cope - then yes, the pup will experience anxiety. Have you trained the puppy to go in the crate on cue? Or are you physically putting him in the crate? Always train the pup to WANT to go in, to earn a click and a treat when they do. Have you followed a structured crate training programme, starting out by sitting by the crate and reading or working on a laptop, so the crate is associated with your PRESENCE, or have you just put the puppy in there at times when you need to leave the room - so the crate is associated with being separated from you? Follow a structured crate training guide: https://thehappypuppysite.com/crate-training-a-puppy/ You need to keep windows open and ensure he can see out of them, driving slowly. How are you travelling in the car with him? Many puppies suffer from car sickness but grow out of this as they get older - as long as you don't associate the car with nausea in a 'learning' associative way, now. (As people who get seasick will feel sick at the sight of the ferry and port...) If this continues, it's important to see your vet because there is medication the vet can give which will help prevent it - and thereby prevent that association from being made, during puppyhood. This is really concerning. How did you introduce the collar, lead or harness? Did you use treats liberally? Have you taught him to target your hand through the headhole of the harness? Have you taught him how to drive towards it, to want to put it on? If you just get weird pieces of equipment (in a puppy's eyes) and stick them on a puppy, then of course the puppy is going to hate them. Now you have created a negative association with these things, it will be a lot harder to fix - you are not beginning from a neutral position, as you would be originally, you are working to undo the opposite association. As per these videos: What preparation have you done for bringing this puppy home? What books, videos or DVD are you following? What classes have you enrolled in? You do have quite a few potentially serious issues there, and I think you would be best off working with a qualified force-free behaviourist who can show you how to train your puppy.... Raising a puppy is not an 'intuitive' thing which humans already know how to do without doing a lot of learning, in some way (unlike raising a human child is often said to be) - dogs are a different species....
