Deep in the dumps (but we love our new puppy)

Discussion in 'Introductions & Saying Hello' started by LeoSA, Mar 11, 2020.

  1. LeoSA

    LeoSA Registered Users

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2020
    Messages:
    1
    Hi everyone!

    My husband and I have recently become the new parents of our first puppy, Lucy. She is just shy of 8 weeks and we love her to bits! We enjoyed getting her settled in the whole weekend and spent every waking moment with her. It's awesome that she was taught not to bite hard and that she most often moans when she wants to go out to pee/poo. :)

    Background:
    We live in a big house with a chicken/dog proofed backyard with the only exception being pool but we are working on getting a toddler/puppy proof safety pool net as ideally we'd like to have her spend most of her time outside. My husband is away from 7:30 till 6:00 Monday to Friday.
    I work part-time and am away from home every week at the following times:
    Tuesdays: 8:30 till 10:30 + 12:30 till 5:00
    Thursdays: 12:30 till 5:00
    Fridays: 8:30 till 10:30
    The rest of the time, I work from home but do need to go out to do groceries and run errands every now and then.​

    Hubby built her a play pen (located in the kitchen) and while we have successfully put her in it twice without too much moaning, when I left for my first shift yesterday (Tuesday) she moaned, whined, cried and howled the whole time till I got back. I played with her as much as I could before placing her in her pen and going to my second shift. And truth be told, when I sneakily got to our house, I could hear from outside that she hadn't stopped and was still howling. :(

    What's literally pushed me over the edge is that she follows me everywhere, slumps down to my feet and then moans as soon as I need to walk someplace else and that I cannot put her in her pen or leave the house without anything short of a catastrophe. While I am so devoted to her, I do have things to do around the house on top of cleaning the mess she makes along the way and my own work that I'm just not getting to at this stage! :eek:

    Fast forward to today, Wednesday afternoon, and here I am with a sunken heart, drowning in tears and seriously doubting my parenting abilities. It breaks my heart that she cries so much, I feel like such a horrible mom. Maybe I'm just not cut out for this? What if I don't have a maternal instinct? Is something wrong with me? :(

    Kudos to you if you've read this far.
    Any and all help and tips would be greatly appreciated.
     
  2. Saffy/isla

    Saffy/isla Registered Users

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    Jun 1, 2018
    Messages:
    679
    Hi and welcome. It is overwhelming sometimes when you bring your puppy home and exhausting too. But it will get better over time. Your pup is very young and is missing her mum and brothers and sisters. They are pack animal's and she is lonely when left alone and maybe unsure. Have you tried giving her a frozen puppy kong to keep her busy while you get on with some jobs? We found this helped our girl. We also gave her a big teddy to snuggle up to.

    I cried lots at first but things soon settled into a pattern that me and pup could work with. Good luck.
     
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  3. J.D

    J.D Registered Users

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    May 9, 2019
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Hampshire UK
    Hi
    It sounds like you may have got your puppy too young if she isn’t 8 weeks yet and you have had her a few days.
    The 12.30 - 5 slot is too long to be leaving a young puppy. Do you have a friend or neighbour who could pop in and have a play. Most people love an excuse for a puppy cuddle.
    Make the area as cosy as possible. Maybe a crate with a blanket over the top for the short spells will make her more secure. Leave a radio on.
    It will get better.
     
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  4. SianMJ

    SianMJ Registered Users

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    Jun 3, 2019
    Messages:
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    Location:
    South Wales UK
    Many of us find having a puppy a challenge don’t worry it’s not just you ! There are a number of threads and advice from Pippa on how to get your puppy used to being alone over time. I gradually built up the amount of time I left my puppy until at 4 months she was left at my regular part time hours. It worked. Plus one of the best things I read and then did every time was ‘good things happen when you leave’.So for example she used to have her breakfast when I left in 3or 4 food dispensing toys. I also left the radio on. I also popped an inexpensive camera in our kitchen so I could see her on my phone when I wanted so that helped me see how she was doing.
    Things will be different for you for a number of months as puppies often need a lot of attention and adaptation in the home for a long time. I found my pup difficult to live with at times and understand how you feel.
    It gets better and easier over time. My girl has just turned 1 and we are both happy still learning together.
     
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  5. Labbielov

    Labbielov Registered Users

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    Mar 9, 2020
    Messages:
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    When we first got Misty she cried at night when we left her in the kitchen at bedtime. One thing that worked for us was to half fill a hot water bottle (which has a cover so she can't bite it), wrapped it in an old pillow case, then in an old towel and then placed this in her bed. Never hear a peep from her since that night, although she's now nearly 4 months and still has her hot water bottle every night. I think it gave her comfort as it feels a little like laying next to her litter mates/mum (soft and warm). Worked for us :)
     
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