Hi everyone, I am a teen who has had a lab for 3 months and he's now 5 months old. My parents knew how hard it is to raise a puppy and were sure we could raise a puppy but after we have gotten him they have completely neglected the duties and responsibilities to me. I didn't mind when he was younger as he didn't need too much time so I could balance my studies but now he needs 1 hour exercise, training, and sufficient playtime and I genuinely can't do it by myself anymore. I've had so many breakdowns and I've had so much trouble managing my stress considering I am in Year 12 this year. I've had so many discussions to heated arguments with my parents but they always divert it back to me and my problems like not doing chores which is not even that serious compared with raising a dog! It's come to the point where I think that my pup could be in a happier and more loving home and even though I really do love him so much I just dont know how to manage raising a puppy AND doing well in everything else without having 50 breakdowns throughout the year and maintaining my mental health. Please help. I really don't want to give him away so please give me any advice you can! Thank you!
Year 12 in lockdown is so hard. Most are struggling and are having lots of difficulties with their emotional well being. Could you reach out to school for support, I know they are keen to help, particularly for your year group. Form tutors or year head will be responsible for your well being. I don't think your pup is the cause, but not helping . Chat how you are feeling with them, it will help.
That's so kind @5labs . @Punga I'm at the other end of the country from 5Labs - in East Sussex - and if you are near me I'd be happy to lend a hand for free. (I was until recently a member of the IMDT) If you decide to rehome your puppy, contact the breeder as they should be prepared to take him back. In any case do contact your school as they will have pastoral services to support your mental and emotional health. You could also ask your parents to sit down and discuss the situation with you and see if you can come to an agreement with them about sharing the puppy care fairly. Many years ago when my son was 14 years old we agreed in advance of getting a puppy what his commitment would be (I agreed to do early mornings myself LOL! But he had 3 hours of sole responsibility after school every day) and he stuck to it.
Hi there, First off you seem completely responsible given that you have found this site - one of the best out there for training, we have found so far. And you are reaching out to the right people. But I am so sorry that you are in this situation - it is not fair to you, as you are in the most stressful stage of life (covid or not) and yet there you are raising another teenager. My hope is that your parents oversight in putting this all on you is simply that result of the stress of covid, and that their overwhelmed feelings about their lives have clouded their vision. A teen cannot take care of a puppy alone while also finishing high school - that much I know. This happened to my much older sister and she was filled with regret and shame for many years. We are two parents in our house and we are struggling ourselves, despite putting lots of time in. So this is to say that I know you need help, and the first place I would start is with people you know. I am a bit concerned about you receiving random help from strangers - even though you sound old enough and of age. Just keep your street smarts about you. I am here in Canada so not much help. I would suggest you ask one of your teachers for a meeting to talk about this, and prepare what you would say first hand - even just what you posted here. Do you have a teacher or even a neighbour who has kids and a dig who you trust? My husband is a teacher at a high-performing school, and he says this is the kind of thing that could really detail your year when it counts the most. It could also derail your dog, who you clearly love and want the best for. I know this could be totally awkward for you as a teenager, but consider confiding in who could help you manage a conversation with your parents. Also, I hear month five is when dogs become teenagers and more difficult to train. I would say don't try to do this on your own. There could be many creative ways of working this out if you reach out to the right people, including perhaps a trainer near you? I wish you much luck. I think the best outcome would be if your parents will come around and try to work with you as a team to ensure you and your dog can become the best adults you can be.
Hi Punga, We're sorry to here you're struggling at the moment - you clearly have a lot on your plate. We'd like to echo some of the advice you've already received - please talk to your teachers, your GP, or an adult you know and trust in real life about the problems you're having. You might also find this article about the Puppy Blues helpful reading. It takes a lot of maturity and compassion to realise when a puppy may be better off homed elsewhere, so don't be embarrassed, or feel that you have to struggle on in an unsustainable situation. Finally, please can we ask you to take a look at these tips for staying safe online, and remind you not to meet up with anyone you meet online without your parents' knowledge and permission. Very best wishes, The Labrador Forum Team
Hi everyone, thank you so much for responding! I am so grateful for all of the touching responses so thank you so much for that! I have had a talk to my parents and they have started taking him for walks for exercise so now I feel a lot less stressed. I will definitely reach out to a GP or teacher for some emotional support. I will read all of the articles suggested, and I'll also continue to come to this site for support too! Thank you so much Edp, 5labs, Joy, megs, and sarah@forumHQ!!
Pings, That is really great news! Maybe your parents could start reading about puppy training with you? I imagine there are lots of teens in your shoes. I think some parents feel that it is good responsibility training for youth to raise a puppy. But it might be a bit uninformed. Please reach out if you need any support!
Thank you for the suggestion! How much time do you all spend with your labs? I'm actually in Australia and it's common for big breeds to be kept as backyard dogs (play outside during the day and sleep inside) as we tend to have really big fenced backyards and very safe neighbourhoods. We've developed a schedule of a 1 hour walk (my parents walk him), 2 30 minute play/training/grooming sessions in the morning and afternoon (that's me). We go out a couple of times during the day and play fetch/ tug of war for about 15 minutes. We do give him kongs, some puzzle activities, and lots of toys throughout the day so has something to occupy his time. Do you think we should increase the amount of time we spend with him?
