I think I'm still in utter shock and cannot cry anymore tears. My, almost 6 year old, chocolate lab, Isabella, passed away early morning on April 16th. I got her when she was 7 weeks old and too young to be away from her mommy if you ask me. She was healthy, a little overweight, but otherwise healthy. I noticed she was miserable on Tuesday, April 11th, and thought she had an ear infection because her ears looked terrible. I brought her to the Vet ER, they put her on antibiotics, ear cleaner, and pain meds, but on the 12th, she looked even worse. I thought something seemed off. Thursday morning, my husband's birthday, I brought her to her regular vet, and I knew it wasn't good when she checked Isabella's ears and they were yellow. I have a background in health-care and knew she was jaundiced. The vet came back with the tech in full hazmat type garb because she suspected Leptospirosis. The vet tried getting blood from a neck puncture to no avail because Isabella was so dehydrated. Finally, after trying her vein in her leg, she drew blood. There was also a needle into her bladder and an IV of fluid into my sweet Isabella's "hump", the bad results of the blood tests, and the vet telling us she "might" die over the weekend. Had my husband and I knew the actual truth from the vet, we wouldn't have struggled trying to force medicine down her throat. We wouldn't have put a big bowl of water next to her, where she laid her head, constantly drinking water, and throwing it all up. I should have known with her not wanting to get up and walk and would ONLY walk when she wanted to, she was in the process of dying. How do you say goodbye to your best friend that you loved so much, your heart feels like it's breaking into a million pieces? I told her on Friday night it was ok for her to go. I told her we loved her and if she didn't want to stay, she didn't have to. I knew when she laid in the corner of our kitchen she wasn't long for this world. Especially, as she looked at me, but more through me, and kept looking at a spot behind the couch. I put a blanket in the vicinity, shut the light off, and I found her laying still in the morning, about 7am. She made my husband love her to the point he'd come home from work, she'd be waiting for him at the top of the stairs, and he'd hum silent night to him, while she leaned into him. This is coming from a man who didn't want a dog and was mad I bought her behind his back. She loved her "brothers" too. My 23 and 19 year old sons, especially my youngest son who is autistic. She was a little afraid of him but sooooooo protective of him. It was raining and cold all day yesterday and snowing today.... kind of fitting for the moment. I want her back so bad. She should be enjoying the snow with our other dog Teddy, her pal, who is very, very sad and lonely. I feel guilty I went to bed and wasn't there with her in her final moments. Did she realize how much I loved her? Was she scared? Was she....I have so much guilt and sadness. Why did I put her through trying to force medicine down her throat? If the vet had been brutally honest with us, I would have declined the medication and brought her home to be comfortable. I miss her so much. We were inseparable and she came everywhere with me, even into our bathroom while I'd shower. I'm so sad, angry, hurt, depressed, p***ed off, devastated. How do I get over this? I feel horrible for my autistic son because he keeps asking for her and saying, "Isabella, come back." She should still be here! 5 years old is too young! I'm sorry for the long post. I'm seriously emotionally drained. I had to get it out and need to hear that it's going to be ok. Thank you for reading and if you believe, could you please say a little prayer for my Isabella? She was my Isabella Rose. She was a dog and I'm a human, but she was my furbaby daughter, and I'm going to miss her like crazy. I hope wherever she is, she's running around with all of the other dogs, hanging with her grandparents, great grandparents, and everyone else, and playing like she's never played before. We love you so much Isabella Rose!! Mommy, Daddy, James, and Nick
Hi Stephanie, I'm so sorry for your loss, Isabella sounds like a wonderful companion and she was lucky to have a family who loved her so much in return.
My heart breaks for you and your family. I know you are all hurting badly (and understandably so) but you did everything you could for your precious Isabella Rose. Don't feel guilty. You had five wonderful years together. You are suffering a terrible loss, but try to concentrate on celebrating her life with you and all the joy she brought to you.
