Does anyone know how to minimize the dismay for our lab Monty when we go away on holiday without him? Is it just us ... We feel so sad to be leaving him....and he appears to be sad too. We know he is well cared for in our absence but we wonder How it affects him. Does anybody have any knowledge or ideas about this? We fear that we will be limiting our holidays because of it ....yet travelling is our other passion. :-\. It might amuse you to know that I can say 'bye' to the family and the grandkids and we've no problem with that....but saying 'bye' to Monty is really, really hard. :'(
Re: Can anyone tell me..... Hi Lynda there are lots of people that will say "it's just a dog" and lots that say they'd never let their dog rule their life but it is a responsibility to make sure they are comfortable being left. There's a number of things here - and for what it's worth here's my opinion! Family and Grand kids understand you are coming back at some point. If you are delayed you can explain this. Dogs don't so I understand the difference you're experiencing - seems perfectly reasonable to me Dogs do pick up on our feelings which is why they are such wonderful therapy so therefore if you are sad and anxious when you leave Monty he will probably seem that way too. Either because he is sensing you are unhappy or because your sense of guilt is helping you see something that isn't there. Labradors in particular can look "worried" quite often. Some people happily go off and leave their dogs for weeks, others only go away with the dog. The longest I've left mine is a week. This is for a number of factors. The point is each dog/human relationship is entirely unique and no two are the same therefore only you can answer this one. I do believe our dogs miss us but I also know they live in the moment. They don't like it when we go but then they get on with whatever they're doing until we return. Put it this way how long do you have to leave Monty before he gets really excited that you're back? I bet it's minutes! Is it really any more excited when you've been hours? If you leave Monty somewhere for a few hours where he'd spend a week - whether it's friends or a kennel - do they report he's relaxed? If so then gradually increase the time left there on his own - and you go and so something fun! Do not feel guilty - they have to learn just as children do. If he's stressed and pines for you then there are a whole raft of techniques to deal with this and a different issue to you feeling bad. (I used Trust Technique for Barney's separation anxiety when everything else failed) There's a risk that you'll end up resenting the dog if it impedes your travel bug which isn't his fault so it's worth resolving. I suspect this is something that is really about you and not Monty - that might be completely wrong, if so I apologise, if I'm not well Trust Technique works on people too I hope this helps. Carole
Re: Can anyone tell me..... Thank you sooooo much for you detailed response Carole and you are reading it exactly right...it is us feeling guilty (husband Rick and me) and we realise how foolish we are... but it is a very real feeling as you know. Thank you for understanding. . You give wise advice and it is a comfort to remember that dogs live in the moment. I will also remember that he reads and reflects us and our feelings....so we will try to be less sad for his sake. When we go away, Monty gets to stay here at home with all his familiar things around him. A family member moves in with him and so we are really glad that we can do that. We usually go away for a couple of weeks at a time and once we were gone for six weeks and whilst we missed him like crazy, we still enjoyed the holiday. The welcome home that he gave us was amazing....he flips himself around in circles making noises like little sneezes and the tail wags the dog....literally! Above all, we never want to resent him ...dont feel as though that would be possible...but that's brilliant to think about. I must look up some of the techniques you mentioned. Thanks again for such understanding and brilliant 'food for thought'. Lynda
