In a moment of procrastination, and now I have my hands back to myself, I thought i'd share my theory of the evolution of the Labrador taken from all i have observed over the last 5 weeks: It is my belief that contrary to popular opinion, the modern day Labrador does not come from a cross of various water dogs, and retrievers. In fact, a desire to create the best hunting dog led a bunch of Earls and noblemen in 19[SUP]th[/SUP] Century England to create a breed that actually crosses retrievers such as the Setter and the Spaniels with various other species. Unfortunately, the addition of some species seem to have led to some rather unfortunate side effects: Crocodile: thought to aid the dog’s lung capacity in the water, the line of crocodile actually manifests most notably in puppyhood when no object, limb or possession it is safe from their jaws. Mountain goat: thought to help balance over rough terrain to aid retrieval skills, this has actually left Labradors with the drive to be at the highest point possible. Usually this manifests through an insatiable desire to be on the sofa, your lap, or your kitchen sideboard. Kangaroo: bred into the genes of a lab in order to help navigate obstacles in a single bound, this has left the breed with a skill it feels necessary to show to all of your friends and family when they arrive at your door. Unwittingly, the 19[SUP]th[/SUP] century breeders did not foresee the complication of the combination of the kangaroo and mountain goat genes which has led to a string of parkour puppies achieving ‘new heights’ every year. Pig: bred into the species to add the thick coat they need to stay warm after hours in and out of water. It was thought this would also offer more protection to the dogs skin than the soft coats of the other retrievers so that brambles and branches would no longer be a problem for the retrieving dog. Unfortunately, along with the coat came the gluttony. Many Labradors today are bound by an endless lust for scraps and unfortunately can not distinguish between those that are and are not edible. Beaver: it was thought adding some of the genetic markers of the beaver would aid the dog in water, but in fact the Labrador has just inherited the need and ability to gnaw through wood like no other dog. Firm favourite of the dogs are skirting boards, doors and table legs but any kind of wood or stick is acceptable. So next time those big eyes look at you longingly when you are sat on the sofa, you find splinters where your favourite chair used to be or you are wrestling a crisp packet out of your furry friends' mouth, remember: it could be worse...at least the noblemen didn't frequent Tazmania. My research is only based on the last 5 weeks of course so if you have observed the breed over a longer period of time, please do add your thoughts...
Brilliant! That explains SO much. I think there might also be a few chomosomes of carthorse in Pongo somewhere - manifesting in an irresistible desire to PULL me all the way across a muddy field at top speed.....
LOL I've been saying, now that we have DNA testing it's been confirmed that Labs are descended from goats, pigs and vacuum cleaners. Love your research, I'll have to incorporate your findings.
Absolutely! Saba has all those traits, and in addition, has the ability to clear a room with a single 'poof' from the rear end! Excellent work!
Hilarious. I am convinced by your carefully researched argument. It makes perfect sense and explains a lot.....
I think that Benson is living proof that there is also some Anaconda in the Labrador gene pool. He successfully swallowed a portion of Holly's birthday cake in one go.
