yesterday we were elated when we were approved to adopt bilbo. I am not sure if you know this about the lab rescue but they do not discuss the details of any specific dog until you are home check approved. After being approved and speaking with bilbo's rep, she mentioned that there are some dogs he does not take a liking to and there is a chance he will not get on with our current dog. She also stated that he cannot be trusted to be friendly with dogs he sees while out on a walk. this did send up a bit of a red flag and even though i was more hopeful than confident, i decided to call my dog trainer and ask his advice and if at all possible, be present when we brought bilbo home. after i explained all the facts about bilbo to him, he advised against adopting him. our dog is not submissive enough, or even at all for that matter and he felt this would more than likely NOT be a good match. i'm absolutely gutted. i also found out that bilbo is being boarded at a kennel and its a two hour drive one way so there is no way our dog can be brought to meet him before bringing him home - he gets car sick within 10 minutes. we decided last night that maybe this isnt the best thing for both dogs and notified the rescue. this morning i had a thought and that was if we brought bilbo home and after 4 days it was not working, would we be able to return him to a closer location - i dont know what they will say but i honestly hate giving up without a try but i have to put my dog's welfare in front of anything else. i dont know if this is just false hope..... knowing he is in a kennel and not a foster home drives me nuts....
Re: and today i am sad..... Oh Tami, I bet you've had a rotten night in bits about this .A dog that has had Bilbo's life will certainly have many challenges,you are right,it's got to work for your existing set up for everyone to be happy and safe and also to ensure a dog that's been so neglected doesn't suffer further confusion and disruption....oh dear ,what a sorry situation. I don't know ANYTHING about the rescue process.....I know that it's quite a long distance but is there any way that Blibo could be brought to you to trial a meeting with your dog?The rescue centre sound like they have been very open about any potential difficulties so are they considering that it might not be appropriate match too?if so,they are part of decision too and that might make you feel better about it. We all got so excited yesterday but it's a very serious decision to make and you are perfectly right to consider if you are able to do it successfully and responsibly.If you can't,there will be another lovely dog who will be the right match for you and your family and the rescue centre will work hard to find a successful match for Bilbo....let us know what you decide, I've got a stone in my tummy thinking about you so I can imagine how you feel. Very best wishes Angela xxx
Re: and today i am sad..... I am so sorry for both you and Bilboa, at least he won't be experiencing disappointment. A good question would be, why did the rescue organisation even consider someone who already has a dog if they knew it could be an issue? That is not meant as a crisisism of you. If he is foster only a couple of hours away is it possible for you to go and meet him yourself and speak to whoever is fostering him. Then at least you would be able to decide if you think it is worth taking matters further. Whatever happens with good will and an ambition to succeed there is a dog out there for you and a home for Bilbao.
Re: and today i am sad..... I'm sure you must be feeling pretty sad about it. What a shame. But you have to be 100% certain. Any rehomed dog will have issues (even if they haven't been mistreated) and will need a flexible and understanding approach. You need to decide for yourself if you (and your dog) are equipped to manage the baggage that a dog might come with. You're doing the sensible thing to go with what you think is right. I'm sure that Bilbo will be just fine as the rescue organisation sound like they are doing their best to match him with the right home.
Re: and today i am sad..... as much as i want to rescue him, deep down i no longer feel this is a good match. bilbo deserves to get it right the first time and not be passed around. the home checker told me yesterday she thinks she has a match for us so we are gonig to see what she has for us and we will go from there - i have waffled a bit this morning thinking of how to make this work but if i am 100% honest with myself, its not a good match. romeo cannot be put in a situation where another dog could bring him harm - if we were talking about a toy breed, i wouldnt hesitate, but bilbo is big, if a fight erupted, he could wipe out romeo in an instant.
Re: and today i am sad..... [quote author=Oberon link=topic=5932.msg76718#msg76718 date=1399965611] I'm sure you must be feeling pretty sad about it. What a shame. But you have to be 100% certain. Any rehomed dog will have issues (even if they haven't been mistreated) and will need a flexible and understanding approach. You need to decide for yourself if you (and your dog) are equipped to manage the baggage that a dog might come with. You're doing the sensible thing to go with what you think is right. I'm sure that Bilbo will be just fine as the rescue organisation sound like they are doing their best to match him with the right home. [/quote] After mentally preparing yourself and commiting to help Bilbo, this must be a real blow but Rachel is right, you have to do what's best for everyone and not let the heart rule the head. Sounds to me you've made the right decison.
Re: and today i am sad..... Another dog might be suitable, Tami, but I think it's the case that, as LRSSE say "Lassie, Rin Tin Tin and Toto don't show up in rescue" so you'll have to work through the practicalities of any rescue dog meeting your dog to check for a good match - it might be a bit optimistic to find a rescue that is 100% reliable at getting on with other dogs, or indeed at anything. There are lots of dogs needing homes on the site, some are very young, still puppies, so there is likely to be a dog for you out there.
Re: and today i am sad..... It sounds like the rescue org will work with you to find the right dog, which is great. They and you both know a bit more now about the kind of dog you are after. Before we got Obi we considered other dogs through a rescue organisation. We were accepted as suitable to have a dog and had a visit to meet a particular dog arranged. But, like you, we didn't feel right about it and pulled out. The foster person was not that impressed with us. But you have to go with your gut. You are talking about a new family member. You have to feel pretty sure about it.
Re: and today i am sad..... you know julie, i hope you are wrong - i hope we have not been fooling ourselves into thinking that a rescue dog would walk in the door and just settle comfortably on their bed and that is that.
Re: and today i am sad..... Oh yeah, wouldn't that be nice As we all know, all dogs have their challenges, rescue or otherwise, don't they. Even a brand new puppy isn't a bed of roses. Tami, do you feel confident that the rescue org has your interests at heart, and understands where you're coming from? (as well as having the dogs' interests at heart of course!) I know that confidence in the organisation was really important for us when we were thinking of going down the same road.
Re: and today i am sad..... [quote author=Oberon link=topic=5932.msg76741#msg76741 date=1399969373] Oh yeah, wouldn't that be nice As we all know, all dogs have their challenges, rescue or otherwise, don't they. Even a brand new puppy isn't a bed of roses. Tami, do you feel confident that the rescue org has your interests at heart, and understands where you're coming from? (as well as having the dogs' interests at heart of course!) I know that confidence in the organisation was really important for us when we were thinking of going down the same road. [/quote] yes i do. they completely understand and know how bad i feel about this. they never tried to make me feel bad. we still want a rescue and feel that the right one will come along, it may be that a female might be a better match. we are going to persevere.
Re: and today i am sad..... Ah Tami, so sorry to hear this but you're quite right, you have to think of your own dog first. It's so sad. Your heart was so in the right place. If it helps I think you've made the right decision, difficult though it must have been. I'm glad rescue people understand. They will do their best for Bilbo. And full marks for continuing with adopting rescue dog.
Re: and today i am sad..... While having lunch out today the subject turned to rehoming dogs and I was told that it can take up to 2 years for them to settle!! I had a 13 month old GSP who had never been socialised or out of a bare kennel. I brought him home and put him in the utility room with the door open and let him decide himself when he wanted to venture further into the house, poor dog was a nervous wreck. It didn't take him two years to settle though ;D
Re: and today i am sad..... [quote author=Stacia link=topic=5932.msg76843#msg76843 date=1399990957] While having lunch out today the subject turned to rehoming dogs and I was told that it can take up to 2 years for them to settle!! [/quote] I guess it depends what you mean by settle.... There's a little Jack Russell round our way who was quite verbally anxious and, if off lead, may have been nervously aggressive. Her new owner has worked wonders with her(in my opinion) and the little JRT will let Riley come and say hello. She'll even walk with him although she keeps her little eye on him in case he turns into a crazy beast I reckon that's taken about 18 months. A Vizsla and a Pointer X that went to the same home were also terribly reactive, 2 years later they're still a work in progress but much better than they have been. And then I've seen a couple of Staffies who in 6 weeks look like they've never lived anywhere else and are very easy going company All of the above are nice dogs and very much loved ;D
Re: and today i am sad..... I guess it all depends on the degree of abuse/neglect etc. that the dog has had to cope with in its previous life . Millie wouldnt go anywhere near Paul when we got her ten months ago and was very wary of feet, speaks for itself really . I do think that having a resident dog helps an awful lot too , the rescue one can gain confidence from a happy and contented dog, but they do all seem to come with some issues, baggage , some of which are easily dealt with and some taking lots longer . We can see a massive difference in Millie , she is very sociable now whereas she was rather timid , but she still jumps if you move very quickly around her, like she is expecting to be hurt . I guess also, knowing some history can help an awful lot, something we didnt have the advantage of as Millie was a stray . She adores children and like Sam , never leaves my grandsons side when he is here which is rather touching , am looking at her now on Pauls knee , perfectly happy and contented, it makes the effort so worthwhile
Re: and today i am sad..... i think the problem here was that our resident dog was not gonig to be a good match for bilbo - my trainer saw this immediately. he has recommended an older female or a young male. BTW - bilbo is huge, in fact, he was in a foster home but they had to put him in the kennels because the foster people couldnt walk him, he was too strong. now that i hear all this, i know this was not a good match. so we have adopted an older female! she is an owner surrender coming directly from the home. the only issue is that she is not good with young children and they are about to have a baby. we feel this is the right choice for our first time at being fur parents to multiple dogs and i think this is the right choice for our romeo. we hope to get her on thursday, but it may not be until next week. LRRSA really came through and i thnk they are doing a fantastic job. we are very happy! while this dog does not necessarily have a sad rescue story, she needs a good **new** home and she's got one!
Re: and today i am sad..... Good luck Tami,I'm a firm believer in listening to the little internal voice that tells you the right thing to do x your new dog will have a lovely home with you and Blibo will find the right place too and who knows,we may even meet him again,I hope so ,you just never know x
Re: and today i am sad..... It's also dependant on the amount of time spent in kennels. You can have a dog that has not been abused or neglected at all in its previous life but because they've been in kennels for even just a couple of weeks they can find it quite difficult to adapt as their stress levels are sky high for so long after being in the kennel environment. Do not ever beleive that kennels are a suitable environment for a dog. I've worked at one of the best in the country and one of the not-so-great-but-we-do-the-best-we-can-with-what-we've-got in the area and neither are places I would like any dog I know to end up.
Re: and today i am sad..... Sad to hear about Bilbo but it sounds as if you have made a sensible decision. Do hope the new girl fits in well with you.
