Hi! Hope you can help. Recently, there have been occasions when I get home very late at night after working away. Everyone is asleep, and someone else will have put the dog to bed at normal bedtime. She sleeps downstairs in the study. When I get home, I get in quietly etc. but she will always wake up and come and see what's going on. I guess it's a good thing in terms of intruders etc. (although, I'm not sure she would be up to much...her best defence being a lick-fest!!!!) but she then gets a bit wound up and won't settle. We have trained her to not jump etc. when greeting us, and she won't, and is polite, but she still gets excited and follows me around etc. when I'm getting ready for bed. I put her back in her bed, and go to mine, but she will follow me to the bottom of the stairs and cry when I go up (she is not allowed upstairs). I can hear her wandering around for some time afterwards, as though she can't settle. I feel bad, because it's interfering with her. Any suggestions?
Hi @drecd a tricky problem, because you are changing her pattern. I would be inclined to take her outside on a lead and get her to toilet. When we wake up, we often have to go to the toilet. I expect she is the same. Why the lead? You want to avoid a physical game that would stimulate her even more. If she is not lactose intolerant, I would give her a small amount of warm milk. When she finishes, tell her to go to bed. Wish her goodnight. Don't feel any guilt. You can play with her when you get up. Turn the lights off. Don't respond to her pacing around and whining.
I would suggest spending just 5 minutes sitting with her, by her bed or wherever she sleeps. She has basically missed you and now wants some contact with you, to feel secure and happy to go back to sleep. I know you might be really tired and just want to go to bed when you get in, but if you can just spare 5 minutes to sit with her until she settles again, I think you’ll find she will be a lot happier when you then go up to bed...
Good afternoon, Many thanks for your replies. I tried a combination of both your suggestions last night. Initially she was a bit agitated. I think the milk helped, and she will have seen that as a treat. I actually ended up falling asleep on the floor next to her bed!!!! Then, I went upstairs and she displayed similar behaviour to before, where I could hear her wandering around for a bit. I guess you're right that she feels unsettled and perhaps a bit confused? Is there anything we could do before her bedtime? I.e. pre-empt? Thanks for your help, guys.
Hi @drecd one swallow doesn't make a summer. Try either suggestion or the combination of our suggestions (@Jo Laurens) to see whether she can learn a new pattern. The one proviso, please don't fall to sleep next to her because you will probably just wake her up again.J ust leave when she settles. In case the suggestions do not work, please let us know whether she was crate trained. And did you use a blanket to cover the crate? But as I said give it a few repetitions to see whether her behaviour changes towards settling again and counting sheep while they safely graze.
Hi, I actually would be inclined to do the opposite to the other suggestions, I would do my best to ignore her. We had the opposite, in that sometimes one of us has had to get up really early, disturbing Bill as he sleeps in the kitchen. We don’t speak to him or acknowledge him in any way. We do what we need to and go out the door. Not sure how long it took, but he doesn’t even raise his head now....
Thanks again for your replies. Yes, of course, it will involve a bit of trial and error and repetition. I didn't intend to fall asleep, but I was just so exhausted that it just happened!! She wasn't crate trained. That's an interesting insight, Nanster, thank you. To date I have never really engaged with her that much when I get in late, but, haven't tried completely ignoring her. I do feel sorry for her, because it's not her fault that I end up disturbing her, so hopefully we can find a way through. I did wonder about getting someone to make sure the doors are all closed downstairs so that she won't see me, but, I think it's hearing the door go etc. that alerts her in the first instance. Also, this is not something we normally do. Do you think she would then become more anxious? Or shall we just try lots of different ways?
Hi @drecd just try one method for a number of repetitions. Observe and evaluate. If it doesn't settle her, then try another. Observe and evaluate. I wouldn't try a number of different things one after the other because you are attempting to set another pattern. I assumed that when you wake her up and greet her in the morning that you don't expect her to go back to sleep. But at night you do. Your dog not surpringly finds that confusing. She will learn two patterns but it will take a bit of time. The idea of ignoring the dog when leaving and coming back home is something you would do with a dog suffering separation anxiety. From your description she was just unsettled because you had woken her from a sleep. But Nanster's suggestion might well work. But you will have to give each a number of repetitions before moving to the next method. I was only joking about falling to sleep. I knew it was not intentional. I should have used an emoji. Sorry. The written word is somewhat lacking. Let us know what transpires.
I think if she is just wandering about and not making noise, that is perfectly acceptable, no? Occasionally one of our dogs will get up and have a drink in the night... If she wanders about a bit and then goes back to bed, I'd consider that pretty reasonable... When deciding whether to ignore or not, will depend a bit on what the motivation for the behaviour is. If her motivation is worry or anxiety or being unsettled, then settling her will help a lot - before leaving. If her motivation is just wanting attention for the sake of it and because attention is reinforcing, then ignoring is the answer. But in the situation where you've come in late at night and gone upstairs, I'd think she is a bit unsettled by that - that her behaviour is not just 'hey, I'd fancy some attention now' - or you would be getting the same thing when you are not coming in late - she would be just fancying some attention at 3am anyway...
