HELP!!!! HUGE PUPPY / MUMMY SLEEP ISSUES No judgement please! So, I’m close to breaking point having had very little sleep these past few nights. Our labradoodle is just over 12 weeks and I am having awful problems at night. I picked him up at 8 weeks and planned on crate training him. I opted not to have the crate in our room, but decided to sleep downstairs on the sofa (not right next to him - across the room). For the most part he was “good” - woke for a wee a couple of times per night and re-settled afterwards. So, as things were going well (I thought), and my husband was back for a couple of weeks, I decided that I would return to my own bed (I’d been sleeping terribly on the sofa), and first couple of nights weren’t bad but then he started to not settle after the week, and then eventually he started even crying at bedtime and would not resettle after weeks at all. I was up every hour and I was completely exhausted. At that point, I decided to put the crate in a pen with the door open but also have his bed that he likes in there too. I then made the decision (for right or for wrong) to let him cry for a bit at bedtime. He cried for 40 mins or so, and then went to sleep and nights were pretty good - awake 5.30 for the day. The next couple of weeks, he went straight to sleep, no crying and was up for 1-2 wees per night and was up for the day at 5.30pm. THEN, things started to go wrong…..I’d put him to bed at 10.30pm and he wasn’t settling…..he’d then wake up around midnight and then would sleep until 5.30am. THEN these past 2 nights, he’s cried at bedtime, and then wakes around 12/2. Last night he cried at bedtime for about 30 minutes THEN he woke at 2am and would not resettle for the rest of the night, I’ll admit I let him cry….in the hope that he’d settle but he didn’t. I had gone down a couple of times…..but he wouldn’t settle…..and at 4.30am I decided to get him out of the pen, and put him in the kitchen. He continued to cry until 5.30am. So he was up from 2am ……for the WHOLE NIGHT - and so was I. This obviously can’t go on. I really thought we’d cracked the sleep and it would get progressively better but it’s got steadily worse. The crate is now in the car - he’s gone in the boot of the car these past 3 days for school drop off. He cries slightly but settles. So, what do I do? I do not want him to sleep upstairs, on the floor, or on our bed. I know people who like to have their dogs sleep in their rooms, but I do not want to do this - for various reasons. He will happily go in his pen in the daytime…..I have made a roof for it (to stop him jumping out). He’s got worse since this was done but I don’t have a choice but to cover it. I am not sure what on earth to do…..I’m beside myself with tiredness after having only 3 hours sleep last night. I have put a call in to a dog trainer to see what she says. I am not usually one for letting babies/a dog cry it out - and I’m fearful that I have done damage to my poor dog. I have left him in the day here and there and he’s not happy. That said, I can go upstairs or outside and he’s not bothered. He HATES being confined. He’s escaped the pen a couple of times (now he can’t as I’ve fixed that issue!) - and on the occasions that he’s escaped and has full run of the house, he goes right through the night without a sound. Nothing. Doesn’t even make a noise at all….I have come down to find him “escaped” ….and happy as a clam. He cannot have full run off the house….I have a fully open plan house, brand new furniture, lots to chew plus electrical cables. So what do I do. My crate is in the car. I cannot see him being a fan of the crate - given he hated it early on. I would have to go and buy 2 crates - one for upstairs and one for downstairs (I have narrow stairs and doorways and I cannot be lugging crates around day and night). I ideally don’t “want” to crate train and worry it would be struggle at 12.5 weeks. Neither do I want him in a bed in my bedroom. I wouldn’t be adverse to trying him in a crate next to may bed - despite me having to buy a couple of crates…..but given his nature, I don’t necessarily think he’d take to that very well. Surely ALL dogs don’t love crates - there have to be some that hate crates or being confined? All I know is that I am starting to feel unwell (I have an autoimmune disease and need my sleep) - I’m on my own with my daughter and I cannot live off this amount of sleep. My daughter is now seeing me stressed out and that’s upsetting her. I explained that puppies are hard work and it will not last forever. Please give me your suggestions or ask any questions! Please don't give me a hard time about letting him cry....I didn't know what else to do at that stage. Trying to settle him any other way wasn't working. Plus when I tried to settle him by putting my fingers in the cage he scratched and bit me and if I open the door he wants to get out..... Thanks
I’m sorry things have been such a struggle. If his crate fits in your car it makes me wonder... how big is it? How much room above his head does he have?
Make the crate a better place, I know you don't want to get another one but a Lab probably needs a 42 inch crate and you can use a divider if it's too big. Feed him his meals in there to create a positive association and put a crate cover on it as well. If bedtime is 10.30pm pick up his water a few hours before, don't do physical playing with him before sleep if he has a chew toy that he likes let him focus on that. Stay strong it will get better and quickly. It's very easy for me to say not to stress but he will pick up on it especially if you leave in a tense way at night he'll notice. Have some faith and be positive if you believe it will get better that's a first step but you just got to help him get there, put some safe chew toys in his crate as well.
