Hamish

Discussion in 'The Rainbow Bridge' started by Gaynor751, Nov 14, 2017.

  1. Gaynor751

    Gaynor751 Registered Users

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    So glad to have found this site. We had to say goodbye to our wonderful yellow lab, Hamish, on 5th September this year and I’m finding it increasingly difficult to cope with losing him. He was 12 and was suffering from bad arthritis and latterly, laryngeal paralysis. Both were such horrible, cruel conditions and he fought them stoically until he just couldn’t do it any more. He had slowed down a lot in the last year but even a few weeks before we had him put to sleep he wanted to play chase in the garden (slowly) and would come to the front door to greet me and ask for a tummy rub when I returned from work. He didn’t understand why his family kept on going away (my oldest recently left for uni)but was always so happy to see us back. As a young dog he was very challenging - almost untrainable - (think Marley and me) and could be fear aggressive with other dogs. With us, however, he was a delight and full of fun. I went to bed each night knowing that he was looking after us ( he once scared burglars away from the house) as much as we looked after him. And he had a real sense of humour and mischief! My grief keeps overwhelming me. I feel guilty that I drove the decision to have him euthanised as he was clearly suffering and I have to live with that. He trusted me and I did this to him... But he wasn’t going to recover unfortunately and I just couldn’t bear to see him gasping for breath so badly and hardly able to walk. We all said our goodbyes and he was put to sleep in our house, so it was as good as it could have been. But I feel as though I’ve lost more than him - it’s as though I’ve lost a part of my life (children growing up and moving away etc) and a big chapter has closed. My husband doesn’t want to get another pet (not for a long time anyway) and I so miss having the unconditional love of a dog in the house.
     
  2. FayRose

    FayRose Registered Users

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    So sorry to hear this. It is heart breaking when they go - their lives are too short aren't they? You've got lots of wonderful memories to treasure and maybe one day another little lab will join your family. It took us 2 years to get over losing our boy.
     
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  3. edzbird

    edzbird Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    I'm very sorry to hear about Hamish - sounds like he was a massive part of your life. You did the kindest thing for him, releasing him from his suffering. I know what a tough decision it feels like, but it really is the right thing. Gradually, your pain will fade and you will smile when thinking of Hamish xx
     
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  4. Beanwood

    Beanwood Moderator Forum Supporter

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    What a brave and selfless decision you made on behalf of the family. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Just heartbreaking to lose your soulmate at this time of change and adjustment in your life.
    Would putting together a memory book help? To celebrate his life and, perhaps one day smile over lots of wonderful memories:hug:
     
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  5. BevE

    BevE Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    You shouldn’t feel any guilt, he trusted you to do the right thing, the brave thing, the loving thing and you did. He is now free from pain and suffering. Thinking of you at this awful time. x
     
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  6. Cath

    Cath Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    So sorry for your loss. You did the best and right thing for Hamish. When I had my old lab Robbie put to sleep, I thought my heart would break, but now I can look back and remember the wonderful times we, my 3 sons, me and Robbie had together.
    Hang on in there. :hug:
     
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  7. Oberon

    Oberon Moderator Forum Supporter

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    The one thing wrong with dogs is that they don’t live as long as we do. So if we choose to love a dog we also have to deal with losing that dog. It’s certainly the toughest thing I’ve ever experienced.

    The very sad reality is that with our doggies sometimes we don’t have any other ethical option but to bring suffering to an end and to say goodbye. You did the right thing for your beloved dog, even though it came with such dreadful emotional consequences.

    Even so, I think that it’s normal to feel guilty when you have to make the decision to put a dog to sleep, even though it’s not rational to feel that way, and even though there was absolutely no kind alternative and no other option. I felt terribly guilty when we had to put our old dog to sleep even though there was no alternative - he was 14, he had a massive tumour, had haemorrhaged very badly and was in heaps of pain. I did not expect the guilt and it was really intense and hard to grapple with. I even dredged back over and over every time I hadn’t given him a treat he wanted or had done something else instead of taking him for a walk or had been cross at him for some silly reason. I really beat myself up with it. I don’t really know why....maybe it’s just part of wanting them back so desperately. In the end I was able to let go of it and replace it with the certainty that my dog had had a good life with me. I’m just telling you that in case you’re feeling the same kind of thing. You don’t have anything you should feel guilty about.
     
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  8. Karen

    Karen Moderator Forum Supporter

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    So sorry to hear about your loss. We who have lost much loved dogs really truly do understand.
     
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  9. Stacia

    Stacia Registered Users

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    You could be describing me and my dog who I also lost in September, mine had a sense of humour and mischief and he was a handful when younger, had fear aggression of other dogs, which did get better as he got older. I think it is the character they had which we miss so very much and so sad to see what they had become. It is very hard to make the decision to euthanise a dog, but it is the best thing for the dog if they are suffering, but not the best thing for us. Mine was put to sleep very peacefully in my house, so it couldn't have been better for him. We who are left, feel the pain of loss, but you should not feel guilty in any way. the guilt of keeping him alive when he was suffering would have been greater. I am a little more fortunate as I do have another Lab, but he will never be another Drift, he just doesn't have that character. We have to let them go, but I do understand your grief, I was driving in the car and I had such longing and pain for him, it was hell. It does get better eventually.

    My vet came down to put Drift to sleep, but when seeing him, said we will give him another 24 hours, I wish we hadn't as for those hours he suffered, we must remember that we stopped them from having pain which is the most kindest thing we can do.
     
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  10. charlie

    charlie Registered Users

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    Very sorry to hear about Hamish :( He has left a big hole in your heart which I hope one day will be filled. I am thinking of you. xx
     
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  11. Jazzmynn

    Jazzmynn Registered Users

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    I'm so very sorry to hear about Hamish. It's so painful losing a dog, regardless of the situation. We've had to put 3 to sleep over the years, and the decision never gets easier. It's part of the reason we hesitated about getting another, knowing at some point down the road we'd have to make the decision for Ariel. However, over time, the mourning becomes easier and the memories get clearer.

    I noticed your wording: "He trusted me, and I did this to him". Actually, he trusted you, and you did it for him. You made the right decision, and he trusted you to do that - you recognized his quality of life had dwindled, he was struggling to breath and had difficulty walking. Please try to release some of your guilt and recognize that he probably would have thanked you for your choice.

    I don't know if this is the appropriate time to share this information, but we had eldery neighbours down the road with a very old, sick dog. I understand their hesitation in making the decision to put their pup down, however the dog seemed to know it was time, and did what dogs sometimes do - wandered away from the house to die. :( :( The owners were obviously frantic, and we began a search for the dog. Luckily someone on the street stopped and asked us if we knew anyone that owned a very very old dog - she was lying way under their porch and waiting to die, alone. It was the dog we were looking for - we were able to gently pull her out, and reunite her with her family. They immediately made the decision to put her down that afternoon, and were at peace then as they were able to be there to say goodbye and help her through her journey. I'll never forget that day....and now I'm crying all over again.

    Stay strong, it will get better. :heart:
     
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  12. Plum's mum

    Plum's mum Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    So sorry for your loss, you made a heart breaking decision and the right one for Hamish. Thinking of you.
     
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  13. Granca

    Granca Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    It takes time to get over losing a pet, sometimes a very long time, but you did the best you possibly could for Hamish. Dogs are very much part of the family and give us so many happy memories.
     
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  14. mandyb

    mandyb Registered Users

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    So sorry for your loss. x
     
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  15. Gaynor751

    Gaynor751 Registered Users

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    Thank you for your kind words and I’m so sorry to hear about your recent loss of Drift. As you say, it was definitely the kindest thing to do (on your part and ours) and I saw that very clearly at the time. Funny how that knowledge gets eroded by the grief though. The pain we feel is because they have such a big place in our hearts. Perhaps they are playing together right now (all fear aggression gone) and just happy to be free from pain.
     
  16. Gaynor751

    Gaynor751 Registered Users

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    That is a lovely idea - thank you
     
  17. Gaynor751

    Gaynor751 Registered Users

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    Thank you for your post and your kind words.
     
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  18. Stacia

    Stacia Registered Users

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    I would love to think they are playing together and looking down on us x
     
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  19. kateincornwall

    kateincornwall Registered Users

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    I am so sorry for your loss @Gaynor751 I lost my six year old to cancer last week, so I truly empathise , and know the distress . You and all others who make this hard but kindest of decisions and to be thanked for the last gift you gave to your dog , so very sorry xx
     
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  20. Gaynor751

    Gaynor751 Registered Users

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    Hi Kate, I’m so very sorry to hear about your loss kateincornwall and thank you for your lovely words xx
     

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