Dear all, This is my 1st post and I couldn't need your help or support more. After months of planning &researching we finally brought our 9wk old yellow lab home yesterday. She is beautiful and hasn't had a single accident in the house so far and slept all night! The problem is with me. About an hour after getting home I had a panic attack and now I keep feeling I've made a huge mistake. The reality has hit me and I can't bond with her, I really feel like I could just return her to the breeders and I wouldn't be upset, I'd be relieved. I feel horrible. Should I persevere and give it time to relax and bond? But what if I don't bond? How long do you give it? I've never felt this level of anxiety before .. I feel lost
Hi Sarah from Hattie 8 years and our rescue boy Charlie 5 years. You only brought your puppy home yesterday and it's a big shock which I remember feeling too, it's the "oh heck what have I done" Please give yourself time to get used to having a puppy in the house and I bet over the next days and weeks you will bond with your puppy. Don't beat yourself up I think most of us have had that feeling at one time or another. What's your girls name, can you post some photo's of her. Is she the first dog you have had? There's lots of new puppy owners on the forum who will gladly help you through this and with all your traning. You will enjoy training her and her response will keep you going, you will eventually have a friend for years to come. Puppies and young Labradors are hard work but absolutely worth it.
It's very, very early days - give it time. The bond isn't necessarily a feeling. It's more practical than that. Meeting her needs and seeing her develop wifi give you a sense of it. Here is a good article - http://www.thelabradorsite.com/how-to-beat-the-labrador-puppy-blues/ xx ...
Oh I relate to that a lot, I got so happy finding Millie and we brought her home. The next day it kinda hit me, wow a puppy.. I will have to take care of a puppy and a 2 1/2 year old, will they get along or was it a mistake bringing home a puppy now? Will I get the time to train her due to my daughter is always home with me? Will I feel like she's a part of the family? So many question marks the day after Millie was brought home, it got better and she is my dog now. Completely. I couldn't stop smile when we went out on the grass in our yard without any leash on, her small butt kept on being my tail ( practice at this age a lot to be off leash since they do follow you anywhere at this age). It is overwhelming and I did have the thoughts a lot that it was too much the first two weeks, especially when she kept nibble my daughter but Millie stopped bite us the first week home and now at 5months she just nibble very soft and gentle when she gets ignored when she wants a belly rub. Just remember to start train that your pup knows how hard is too hard to bite, I always let Millie mouth my fingers and when it got too rough I made a really ouch sound along with a face with it. She learned fast what is too hard and what is ok. You will surely bond with your pup, you will have to get to know the pup and its personality so give it time and spend some time doing some exploring in the garden or such.
Think of it as a huge step rather than a huge mistake. Do you have The Happy Puppy Handbook? That might be of some help, even if you've read it..read it again. Training - it's never to early to start training - this will help you bond with your puppy. Have a look at clicker training, this is fun for both you and your puppy. It may be slow and gradual but I think you'll get there. With all your planning and research, it is clear you had a spark in the beginning - you need to re-ignite it.
I've heard many a new mother say the same thing about her own baby. They are stuck with their own baby and it most often works out just fine. You've only had puppy one day and she hasn't settled in yet. Give it a bit of time and you'll be back with different concerns I bet; you love her even though she bites and pees and barks.
Thanks so much for your reply, I know you're probably right and I know its Very early days, I've just never felt such overwhelming panic before. I have set myself a goal to make it through one week before I make any decisions .. Fingers crossed. Her name is Daisy and she's beautiful, of course. When I work out how to, I'll post a pic. Thanks again.
Daisy what a lovely name but one week isn't enough time for you to make any decisions, it really isn't. Like the others have said start little 5 minute training sessions, look at the clicker training section which is great fun and a lot of us use, you will see the results quickly which will spur you on to enjoy Daisy There is a technical section to show you how to post photo's, I am absolutely rubbish
Give yourself time...it's early days yet. Your puppy has not had chance to bond with you yet . After a while feelings chance from meeting practical needs to that emotional attachment. It's not instant it takes time and patience.....don't give up yet best wishes Emma and Meg.
Give yourself some time it's all a bit of a shock I've done it a few times now and I still think after a few days why the hell have I done this again. You realise it's going to be tough but then your pup will steal your heart and all the blood sweat tears and self doubts mean nothing. Give a bit longer you are not on your own we understand
Definitely need more time. I had moments of should I take Axel back up until he was 14 weeks old. My husband bonded with him the weeks prior but not me. Once we started puppy classes everything changed and that night we got back from the first class was like finally coming up for air after drowning in frustration for 6 weeks. I now wouldn't trade him for anything. Even though he's being a naughty teenager right now I have learned to laugh more than get upset. It really is funny to see how they try to be sneaky
Yep, this was me until 12 weeks. I really didn't enjoy the early puppy phase, especially because mine had a really iffy bladder and we were in and out every 20 minutes. Then you can't leave them alone for long because they're a baby...It's a very restrictive time, and it's hard to see the forest for the trees, but for me at least the fog lifted at 12 weeks and I finally feel a bond developing. I thought I was prepared too, had wanted a dog (not a puppy, I'm after the end result) since I was a kid. But oh my, it's worse than I'd imagined.
I always tell people: if you're not sure you want a puppy, don't get one. In fact, I discourage most people from getting a dog. It takes so much effort and is such a responsibility and I can't bear seeing poor dogs left behind garden gates, depressed and alone. Only you can know what you're really feeling. At the risk of being slammed here for saying this... if you were pushed into bringing a puppy home and you really don't want one, what are the possibilities of returning the puppy to the breeder? On the other hand, if you really wanted the puppy and you're just feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility, then this forum is probably your best place for support and advice. Snowie is entrenched in our life and of course I would never ever give him up or stop doing all the things that bring him happiness (walks, outings, tummy rubs, etc). But he has altered our life and sometimes I wish for the old life back when we were footloose and fancy-free. My husband was the one who wanted a dog. It took me till Snowie was 10 months old to really feel he was mine. He felt like a stranger to me and I had to work hard at overcoming my feelings. I feel bad for those wasted months when I should've been bonding with him. I am sorry I didn't have this forum for advice; I am sure it would've made the world of difference. Now we are totally bonded, it is quite incredible, but it took a lot of hard work and dedication. And yet for others, the bonding comes naturally; they don't give it a second thought! Best of luck on whatever decision you take.
It really does take time and getting into a bit of a routine, although any routine can be variable! Daisy sounds delightful, but you won't be able to adjust immediately to having a four-pawed, energetic puppy that's totally dependent on you for food, comfort and training. Life with dogs is full of ups and downs - most of the time we wouldn't be without them, but there are also those other times...! Do post some photos and let us know how you're getting on.
I had a pup in about 1984 and I hated her until she was 10 months old, she was wild and drove me potty, but she turned out to be a fantastic dog and possibly my favourite, we ended up so close and I loved her dearly. Give it time. One does get the feeling of 'what on earth have I done' but it passes!
I've had thst feeling too. Those terrible frustrating pups seem to turn into the best dogs don't they
Bloomin' well hope so! Betsy is driving me mad! @Sarah C - I've had my pup a month now (she is my second pup) and I don't feel that I've bonded with her one little bit! In comparison to my older dog, she is just tiresome. She wees and poos all the time, bites me all the time, has the attention span of a fruit fly so training is slow and boring, and - the worst thing ever - she bites my other dog who honestly is my life and I love him to bits and can't stand it! But, I do my very, very best not to let her suspect that I don't love her (and I don't, not one little bit) because I know all this annoying puppy stuff will pass and I hope she will turn out as good as my other dog. Puppies are cute, but it's really all about the dog you make out of the puppy, not really about the puppy at all.
