This is my first post here and I wish I’d found this site sooner. On Thursday I lost my handsome chocolate boy Winston just shy of his 10th birthday. Finding it very hard to deal with as although senior, he did not act that way one bit. He had a large lump appear almost suddenly near his left shoulder. Seemed not to bother him but had our vet check it out as it was huge, looked like a dislocated shoulder. He received biopsy and anti inflammatory and was recovering well however the lump kept swelling up, particularly after exercise. After a few weeks this started to bother winston and the vet decided to try and drain fluid while he was sedated. During this procedure the vet took more biopsy’s which resulted in us finding he had a lipoma under the swelling. I was relieved it was not cancer however, after chatting with the vet, we decided to go ahead with surgical removal as some days he seemed fine but others he was whining with pain which wasn’t nice to see. Week leading up to the surgery he had an awful night where he cried in pain and I had to sleep on the floor with him. He had to be carried into the vet for medication. However more metacam seemed to work well and the days leading up to the surgery, he was leaping around like a puppy again. We still felt though that this needed to be removed as he was only pain free when medicated and even then, still cried a bit at night. He went into the vet happy on Thursday. Received the call to say surgery was done and he was coming round from the anaesthetic, however the lipoma had been attached to muscle meaning some of his shoulder muscle had to be removed and he would have a large scar. 10 minutes later we received another call saying he was bleeding more than they were happy with so they were taking him back into surgery. The next phone call was a moment that I will never forget telling me they’d done all they could but my darling boy had slipped away. I feel like part of me is missing but I am also being eaten up with wondering whether surgery was right. I switch between being glad we did all we could for him and glad he did not have a long illness and suffer to then being devastated that my boy may have enjoyed a few more years with us. I also keep thinking that as he was 10, if he had come through that the recovery may have been difficult for him and I’m not sure he would have enjoyed senior years not being able to bound about like usual. All of his pre anaesthetic tests were fine but the week before surgery he did leave a few blood spots on the floor which I suspect came from his urine. This was checked, and also came back negative and it Only happened once. It makes me wonder if there were other problems going on that he was just showing no signs of. Sorry to ramble on, I just feel so heartbroken but so grateful that I got to have almost 10 years of fun and love from the best boy. Our vets were fantastic and showed so much care and compassion, they had grown fond of him over the years. Hard not to I just hope we did the right thing for him.