willow is coming up to 14 weeks and we have had her from 8 weeks, my daugher is 4.5 years old and is used to dogs as our childminder had 2 older dogs (shelties) and she was going there every day from 1-4 till she started school. since we have willow, i feel like i am consently moaning at her, dont hug her (poor willow backing away trying to get her off) when she does give paw she really shakes her paw, she is always trying to pick her up whcih i say no too. this has been going on for weeks now and nothing is working telling my daugher off. i explain the reasons why and show her how it feels. but tonight topped it off, we were in the lounge and she had willow roudn her tummy and tried to pick her up, willow really cried, my daugher let go and she ran off tail under her bottom into her bed! i went mad at my daughter who burst into tears. this happened over an hour ago and poor willow still creaping about. daugher now in bed. how can i tackle this? we tell my daugher that we will take her back to the breeder and she says no. My daugher aboustely loves willow and would be devestated if we gave her back, but i feel so sorry for willow and one day she may bite her when had enough. any ideas please?
Re: puppies and children I truly believe that a great % of dog bites on children is caused by children annoying/hurting or tormenting dogs . You really have to punish your daughter , I`m not saying to smack , but she is old enough to understand and accept discipline . If it were me , I would send her to her room is she continues , no treats at all , no tv , no fun . It might sound harsh but she simply has to do your bidding, its so unfair to Willow for your daughter to behave like this . Labs are known for their good natures but they have limits , any dog will react if hurt . Telling her off is not working, so I`m afraid that much harsher punishment absolutely must be dished out right now, before its too late . I dont usually come over as being so direct, but its for everyones sake , you did right to send her to bed , threaten her with no pressies from FC , anything to stress how important it is that she leave poor Willow alone , good luck
Re: puppies and children totally agree with you. she is such a kind girl with younger kids and friends dogs so not sure why she is so rough with willow. huband home soon, going to write a list of things that we DONT do to willow and then read them to her in the morning and then if she does one, i will have to send her to her room. Its like she dont undertand, i am sure she must do. thansk for your reply.
Re: puppies and children Might sound a bit silly but as your daughter isnt like this with other dogs , do you think she may be jealous of the attention Willow gets ? I`m thinking about the scenario when you bring a new baby home and the older sibling sometimes resents the attention ? Might be worth thinking about , am so pleased that you are going to talk this over with your husband , hope all goes well
Re: puppies and children oh yes totally agree, she is an only child, so she could be jelous of her, but not sure how to approach this. she feeds willow, she walks her and plays games wiht her in the house, throwing a tennis ball/dummy. i get her involved with her as much as i can. 99% of the time if i stroke willow, she comes over to sit on my lap and stroke her too.
Re: puppies and children We have an 18 month old daughter and a 2 and a 1/2 year old lab. Which is probably an easier way round with the lab mature but we have certain rules: Lizzie is not allowed to go near Riley when he's in his bed or when he's eating. This means he has a safe haven and his meals aren't disturbed. Mostly though he's happy with her attention. I think she understood the word gently before any other ! I agree with Kate you HAVE to have rules for how the puppy is treated and I would give them both plenty of breaks from each other. Can you teach your daughter some positive ways to interact with your pup? Lizzie likes to blow my whistle and she even raises her hand like I do to ask for a sit ;D Riley normally looks at me as if to say 'is she serious' at which point he gets a paddington stare and his bum goes on the ground. Commands aren't negotiable even when they're delivered by a toddler. You could play puppy recall games and she could give the pup a treat for coming to her. Or get the puppy to chase her and short sits.....Perhaps best to try things that don't involve her touching willow Just some thoughts, good luck!!
Re: puppies and children Oops just read your replies to Kate and obviously you're getting her involved loads already Lots of luck from us!
Re: puppies and children [quote author=loverlab link=topic=3553.msg39372#msg39372 date=1386186245] huband home soon, going to write a list of things that we DONT do to willow and then read them to her in the morning and then if she does one, i will have to send her to her room. Its like she dont undertand, i am sure she must do. [/quote] I see Barbara has already stressed the positive actions too, but what you need is the rules of how you DO treat Willow. Focus on what she should be doing, not what she shouldn't. And yes, if she struggles to stick to those rules, then she needs to know this is unacceptable - she needs the time out, not Willow. Look at reinforcing the positive play with Willow and all the good things she can do for her puppy - maybe give her a sticker chart to reward her for each positive interaction?? Your daughter can then get a treat at the end of the week if she has earned enough stickers. Puppies and children, it's all about rewarding the behaviour that you do want! Clare
Re: puppies and children Good luck with this. All the kids in Charlie's extended family are teenagers, so have no tips, sorry. Just wanted to say I hope you get it sorted. Clare's suggestion sounds a bit like clicker training for kids - sounds like a winner to me!
Re: puppies and children If the problem is jealousy, then I don't think punishing your daughter will do much good in the long run - it'll just make her resent the puppy more, I fear. Yes, explain that she mustn't hurt Willow - but she knows that anyway. This sounds like it is more than that. As Barbara says, having a sacrosanct place for Willow that she can retreat to, will be important. Then stress the good things that happen when the three of you are together, but with the attention on your daughter, not the puppy. Say things like "silly little Willow, she really doesn't know much, does she? Luckily I've got you here to help teach her', and then let her help, holding the lead, giving the pup her food or water, shaking out her blankets, whatever. Make HER the important one, not the puppy. She has been the center of your life, and now this little creature is getting loads of attention - no wonder she is jealous! Quite normal, I think, and I should imagine fairly easily resolved, with a bit of adult cunning applied... Do keep us up to date with how things progress. I'm sure they'll grow up to be the best of friends (though Willow may be nervous of her for a while). Good luck!
Re: puppies and children We have issue with this too...4 children aged 3, 5, 6 and 8. I notice a definite change in my 3 year olds behaviour when we bought Charlie home. Lots of tantrums over nothing. After being in this situation before with bringing new babies home I recognised it immediately. Rather than telling off your daughter you need to reassure her that she comes before the dog in your affections. Cuddle her lots, make sure you have one to one time without the dog distracting you. She has seen you with the dog and is trying to copy what you do so she able to be part of this new focus in your life. Because she is only 4 she doesn't realise what is acceptable or not yet but she will learn quickly if you praise calm behaviour by letting her treat the dog or being part of the relationship you have with Willow by helping you put her food in the bowl etc. You do need to tell her off when she is too physical with Willow and she must know that it is unkind but punishing her will mean she may begin to resent the dog. Kids thrive on attention so if she's getting attention for doing negative things she will do it again...children aren't rational. If she hurts Willow again simply ignore her. Tell her 'That is unkind Willow didn't like that, she is hurt/frightened now' but then ignore her for a short period, giving all your attention to the dog. Your daughter within just a couple of times will realise if she wants you or the dog she can't behave in such a rough way. Praise her when she's being gentle, treat your daughter with a sweetie if she has been particularly helpful or kind to Willow. If you do this the problem will be short term, less stressful for all parties concerned and will avoid resentment in the long term. I don't share this because I 'know it all' but because I am a new puppy owner too, going through exactly the same problem and because whilst I am new to the whole dog thing, I have 17 years of experience working with children. Hope you can resolve the situation soon.
Re: puppies and children As a Mum and Nanny to many , I am not an expert, but have brought up my children around dogs , also had my grandchildren around them too . I firmly believe that boundaries must be set , for safety more than anything else . As Lovelab said , she was afraid that Willow may bite her daughter and this is something to be very concerned about and for this reason , rules must be set and abided by and then by all means , allow your little one to help with Willow , this would be her reward for abiding by these house rules . if I sound like a dragon lady, then so be it , my concern is to stop this from escalating . To say, quote, If she hurts Willow again, ignore her unquote, is not right in my book and so we must agree to disagree .
Re: puppies and children Hiya, Maybe because willow is 'hers' she is just over giddy with her. With the childminders dogs maybe the children didn't have constant access to them, or wasn't allowed to get up close and personal with them? I found some good sites on the net for children, all about how to look after a puppy safely and properly and what you can and cannot do. Has she got a special job to do for willow? My 4 kids have their own job to do in helping to look after Jax. Has willow got a safe comforting place for her to go to on her own where your daughter isn't allowed to go or interact with willow? I would probably sit down with her and talk about willow and what we can and can't do with her. Give her a few ideas but let her offer some herself and talk about them. Would a star chart work with your daughter? Sorry it's not much help x
Re: puppies and children I thought I would post this incident. About two years ago a young family in our village bought a Pattersdale terrier pup. The puppy was about 8 months old when the ladies children had their friends over from next door to play, Alison heard a screaming she ran into the front room to find her neighbours 5 year olds cheek hanging off revealing the flesh. The little girl had to have surgery and then plastic surgery and she is scared for life. Nobody knows whether the children were hurting or tormenting the puppy or it just turned on the child. but the puppy was PTS :'( Children defnintely need to learn respect for dogs or who knows what can happen, nobody can 100% trust their dog or anyone elses. Like Kate said a lot of dog bites are directed at children due to their rough handling. This was a very upsetting incident for the family and I hope they have learnt from it as they went out and bought a Cocker Spaniel a year later.
Re: puppies and children i have read the post with great interest, i only have my grandson here on week ends , i have never left him alone with jasper, .....logan as been to every vet visit with us, been to dog training with us, he as his own clicker and whistle, some are against children having whistles,....it worked for us,.....when jasper was going through the really bad mouthing stage,never having a dog before i didn't no how to handle it...we went along to the vets who demonstrated what logan should do when he was mouthing/biting,.....he was never aloud to handle jasper with out supervision ........my ....so sorry to hear about the incident with the paterdale i hope you can resolve the problem
Re: puppies and children thanks for everyone's tips. things much better. we walk willow from school to home (10 mins) so willow now has a nap when we get in so we now do craft so she is having my attention. when willow wakes we do some training and my daughter enjoying that. willow does paw and find it (the toy). so slowly things getting better. she is still trying to hug her alot, but things are better.
Re: puppies and children Well done, I'm really pleased that things are working out. That's super news.
