Hi all, my name is Alicia and I am new to this forum. Last Thursday my SO and I picked up our first puppy together. I have had senior dogs and he has had several dogs from puppy hood, 3 of them being labs. We were both very excited to get him and while I waited to actually be able to pick him up at 8 weeks, I did a TON of research. I read up a lot about labs and what to expect and how hyper they can be and how their puppy biting can be some of the worst! However, what I wasn't prepared for was the puppy blues I am feeling just days after getting him. I feel so guilty for feeling this way about him, as I know I do love him very much. He is very good for only being 8 weeks. He sleeps from about 10pm-6am and has no accidents in the night. We have a baby gate to only keep him in one room at a time, however, he really likes to try to jump over the barricades we have set up to stop him from going where he shouldn't go (behind the TV stand, behind the couch, etc.) He sometimes poos or pees inside and I redirect him outside so I'm not concerned about the accidents either. He bites and likes to tug but of course that is normal for a puppy. We have even began clicker training and he already knows how to sit and lay down. As I write this I can't help but think I am crazy for feeling so overwhelmed because he is pretty good! I just have this overwhelming sense of dread when I think about having to take care of him or be with him by myself (I only work for 3 hours out of the day then am with the puppy for 3 or more hours on my own until my SO comes home) Today I came home and I just wanted to cry because the puppy just feels like too much for me. I know we have so much family that is willing to help but I feel like such a terrible dog mom feeling this way about him and I just want the feeling to go away. I also don't want to miss out on him being a puppy because I know I will miss that soft puppy fuzz and how small he is once he starts to grow. Even though I am aware of that, I can't help but wish I could wake up tomorrow and have him be a well-behaved adult dog. Has anyone ever felt this way before, and if so, what did they do to get out of this funk? I know it will probably just take time to adjust. We are planning on signing up for puppy classes soon here so hopefully that will help.
Hi @alschwahn and welcome to the forum. You are not alone, there is an excellent thread on this from @Atemas on this very subject - it shows the progress made from puppyhood to now. This is the link https://thelabradorforum.com/threads/puppy-blues.18265/ (I think) but if it doesn't work just search puppy blues and in the posted by member put in @Atemas. Good luck and the forum members are here if you need to vent - research is all good, but you can't research feelings - keep the faith and all will come good, but not without a lot of work x
You are definitely not alone in feeling like this. It's definitely going to get better though, so don't despair! Almost before you know it he'll be all grown up and you'll wonder how those puppy days went so fast. It's great that you've started clicker training. Training is basically the way to establish communication (and even a kind of shared language) with your puppy. Using rewards, you can show him what you want and you can make it worth his while to do it. You'll be able to help him become an educated adult dog who fits in well with the family. Being able to train and shape the behaviour you want will go a long way to reducing those feelings of it all being out of your control. Go and have a read of some of the other threads in the puppy forum (like the one Samantha linked to) and you'll see that others have felt just like you. And also that they've come out the other side And remember that no matter how odd it all is for you, it's just as odd for your puppy. He's in a strange world, with his doggie family nowhere to be seen, and he's on a big, steep learning curve. But I'm totally sure you'll all end up negotiating it fine together in the end
Oh yes and just reading your thread bought back those feelings you are experiencing. Puppies are very hard work and a huge commitment. I had a total melt down with my puppy Red and daily wrote on this forum. I was so shocked at what happened to me as we already have a 10 year old lab so it wasn't as if I was totally new to having a dog. I have been wonderfully supported on this forum which I shall be forever grateful for. Looking back I think I probably tried to do too much and I definitely suffered from sleep deprivation which made me feel ill. I certainly lost the plot for a while - my family and friends were very worried about me. You are right it will take time to adjust but you will.
Welcome to the forum, Alicia. You're certainly not alone in having the puppy blues. Puppies are hard work and a big responsibility. It sounds as if you and your puppy are doing well, but remember you don't have to entertain him all the time when you are on your own with him. He needs 'time out', too. What's his name? Can you post some photos of him? You're right in thinking puppyhood doesn't last long, although it might seem forever at the time! It's important to take lots of photos!
Hi Alicia. Welcome to 'the club'! This was me literally a matter of a few days ago as you'll see on the thread suggestion above. Things are slowly improving for us. Our Jasper is 14 weeks this Saturday. I literally couldn't cope being alone with him and dreaded it. I spent a lot of time crying, often on the kitchen floor with him next to me. At least a dozen times a day wanted to send him back to the breeder. The support on here is amazing. Even though I had moral support from my OH and family I did sort of find reading that I wasn't alone and that there would be light at the end of this time on here more help. I am very proud that I am able to say he's not had me in tears for nearly two weeks now... although came close to it today. Since we've been able to walk him things have improved. I think he enjoys the change of scenery and he definitely gets worn out from all the sniffing and walking which helps give me some quiet time to mentally recover. It helps distract him from doing naughty things which could hurt him and chill out so we can enjoy playing with him without him drawing blood / scratching (or not as much anyway!). Keep on here and you will get through it. Just count the days and try to take the 'me time' when he's asleep to do something for you even if it's just 10 minutes of respite. It really helped me.
Personally I would not let an 8 week old pup have the run of the room, except when you are watching him closely. If you are not actively engaged with him I would have him in a puppy play pen, so he can't get into to much trouble or learn too many bad habits. All of our dogs have had the run of some of the house by the time they were 16 or so weeks, and were 98% reliable. You do need to puppy proof the house as much as possible. At a year old, Cooper still chewed up some things that weren't hers.
I also recommend a puppy play pen. Our puppy spent most of her time in her play pen during weeks 8-12. She was only out for toiletting and trips outside for socialisation. We filled the pen with toys, water, fed her in there, played with her in there. She did a lot of sleeping in there and then I could read a book, cook etc and she still felt my presence as she could see and hear me. On the occasions that I let her out I was exhausted after 5 minutes as she needed constant supervision, which was impossible to maintain! Now, at 16 weeks, she is only in the pen a fraction of the time, but I still wouldn't be without it.
Hi Alicia, and everyone else, My name is Tina and I have a 9 week old chocolate Labrador named Pearl. I just got her the day before she turned 8 weeks, and what a shock to the system! First night was not good, then it smooth out, then like you say Alicia, even though my puppy's doing pretty good at times, I still feel the demand on me, and being on my own too, it's an upheavel. But I am trying to give myself time out, just to have me time, and rest... I know it hasn't been just the puppy's fault but also my own personal issues.
Yes, I told my boyfriend we should consider getting Aspen a puppy pen. I think he would do well in one!
Thank you all SO MUCH for your support and kind words! Everything has changed and is much better just a week later. Here is my handsome little stinker.
He is indeed a beautiful little stinker! glad you've turned a bit of a corner. I'll requote the wonderful @SwampDonkey who said puppyhood is a phase you have to go through to get the lifelong dog you want (sic) (Or hic as it's Friday night )
Aww so cute! Glad to hear things are going better. You'll get through it a day at a time and suddenly you'll look around and wonder where your puppy went
