Anyone ever experienced true aggression towards a familiar person after surgery or serious resource guarding aimed at only one person? I’m still processing and I’m away from home so I don’t really know what’s happening but I’m told my boy had bitten my wife (softly) a few days ago and tonight lunged at her barking violently with hackles up. She wants him out of the house and fears for our 16 month old daughter. I have a lot of time and a lot of money in this dog and he’s fine with me and my daughter. He had TPLO surgery before Christmas but he has shown a bit of fearful behaviour towards her prior. He is entire and amazing so I don’t understand what’s happening but I have to believe my wife. I know hes been cooped up and on meds because of delayed healing and on strict no exercise other than going to potty. I’m sure this is making him very frustrated because he’s very energetic. Could the meds( Trazodone ) be messing with him? Could he be stressed from no exercise or resource guarding his cage? He allegedly had the outburst while she was reaching in to pick up his chew toys for the night right after his last wee before bed. He has growled about 5 times since we got him over food bowl but that has stopped. I know I need to rule out pain from the vet before I look at behaviour. I also know the phases of resource guarding and she says he went straight to lunge. He was laying down getting ready to sleep when she reached in. He is not locked in the cage. The door is opened all day except when he gets too excited and starts running around he goes in to keep from hurting himself more ( as per vets request). I’m baffled and quite upset cause I do not want the dog to leave our family. But my wife is 12 weeks pregnant while mothering a 16 month old and my hands might be tied on this one. Is it possible he might actually be aggressive? Could he hate her or fear her? I think he’s frustrated and she doesn’t have time or energy to deal with him but I can’t gamble my kids on that assumption. When I’m home he gets lots of training and mental stimulation. He has an incredibly soft mouth. He actually spits out your hand if he feels skin in his mouth. He never barks at the outside world. He’s confident and smart. I can only assume he has issue with my wife. Thanks for listening. I guess it’s my turn for advice and comforting.
I just want to add that when he bit her hand she was reaching under the table to help him towards his water dish to drink while keeping the little one away cause she loves his water dish. He was panting so she thought he needed water. I think he was panting because he’s stressed. Anyhow bed time for me. I’ll be home in 2 days for 45 days so hopefully I can find out what’s happening and get him to trust her again. She could be inconsistent and confusing him so hopefully I can get him to trust her but she’s a bit short these days being a new mom whose pregnant again.
I think you have probably identified the general issue. Dogs don’t behave like that without cause. There’s a history there and it hasn’t come out of nowhere. Your dog isn’t comfortable with the way your wife is interacting with him - I’d say there’s fear behind it (could be fear of losing something he has or fear of something else unpleasant about to happen). I would look closely at your wife’s behaviour and the interaction between her and your dog for the answer. Also look at your daughter and her behaviour, and any part your wife is playing in their interaction. Your dog may not be as comfortable with your daughter as you think - just a possibility worth examining.
I agree with @Oberon a change of behaviour has a cause and it's not always easy to identify the exact cause as often there is a series of events that finally triggers a behaviour . What I would say is that you cannot rebuild the trust between your wife and your dog, only your wife can do that - the behaviour is directed towards her so there has to be a commitment from her to work and rebuild a happy, trusting relationship.
I'm by no means an expert but it does sound as though the poor lad is fed up and frustrated. He's probably in pain, uncomfortable and fed up of being on bed rest. This would be the time when mental stimulation and even just company and attention would be so important to his wellbeing and if your wife isn't providing this then he might have just snapped. You mentioned her taking his chew when it happened, he might be feeling extra protective of it at the minute as it might be one of the only things he's enjoying? I'm not sure but I feel as though I remember you mentioning him showing aggression to your wife before, and said hes never done it to you. Does he not have a good relationship with your wife? Their interactions would definitely be something to consider. I'm really sorry this happened to you and I hope you come up with a solution so Duggan can stay with your family x
I wanted to say I'm sorry you're in this situation - it must be heartbreaking for you, especially with you being away from home. It's impossible for us to say from across a computer screen, but I'd certainly agree with the above; he has a history with your wife for some reason. Probably something she's completely unaware of herself and maybe something as straightforward as unpredictability, maybe leaning over him too much to tidy up around him, that sort of thing. I'm just guessing here. Add in his surgery, restricted exercise, the fact she's pregnant (probably tired, stressed and emotional) will also be affecting both of them... I'm sure he's given her plenty of signals, she just hasn't noticed them because they are so subtle, and doesn't understand them. He will feel like she's ignoring his communication and so has to escalate. Is this an issue when you're home, or does it only escalate when you're away? I wonder if there is a solution that can be found so that he goes to stay somewhere else when you're away for work?
It seems to only happen when I’m away. But I have seen him get upset when she reached for him to help him out of the car once after a dr visit and he growled at me once a long time ago resource guarding his food dish. But I think I posted about that how I thought it was weird cause I was behind him and releasing him to eat not going near him while he already was. I can walk past him while he eats no problem. But I bring him more food. But that’s a different topic altogether. the book “ Mine “ should arrive any day. This definitely seems to be about her. I think she used to get mad at him when he came into the babies room and would try to sho him out and of course he thought it was a game so it upset her and I think she grabbed his collar and dragged him out of the room. But she won’t admit to that. But he gets upset when she reaches for him. I’ve seen it twice trying to get him out of the truck and he nipped her when she reached for him under the table just the other day. He’s never done that to me ever. She knows how much I love this dog and it upsets her. She wants nothing to do with him now and says she’s scared after he lunged at her. Bad situation for me because I certainly can’t put the dog before her or my children.
So sorry to hear things aren't going well with Duggan and your wife. I hope when you are home that you are able to work something out do that everyone is happy.
I have no advice, but you've talked about your wife's issues with Duggan since he was a wee pup. From your writing it seems like she doesn't like Duggan/dogs, and barely tolerates him. Can Duggan go elsewhere until you get home? Good luck, man, it sounds like you're going to need it.
The causes of the problems are really neither here nor there, you have to deal with the situation in front of you which is a dog lungeing towards and biting your wife . Don't try and second guess what might or might not have happened, how you move forward as a family and improve the situation is the only real consideration. A behaviour consult may help which should give a programme of behaviour management to go forward with. Although I am a great fan of 'Mine' by Jean Donaldson it sounds as if there is a lot more going on, based upon the bite history with your wife, than some resource guarding.
So. Here we are. If her reaching to him is the trigger can I get my wife to feed him high reward treats open hand from a distance and slowly decreasing the reach to eventually say, circling his head with the treat before giving it to him to create a positive association with her reach? She has no problem putting on his lead and feeding him or belly rubs. Or could it be more than a reach but more an aggressive approach to him that triggers. He was in a cage when he lunged so there was probably in his mind no escape route if he needed to. She says it was out of the blue and she was just doing her nightly pre bed routine, and that’s the part that scares me. If this was unprovoked then I think I may have a real issue. For starters the cage comes down tomorrow. He no longer needs it. It’s been 10 weeks since the surgery I’m going to move his mat and kind of disassemble that area in case he was resource guarding the space. He has spent a lot of time in there in past months. He seems to favour a spot under the heat pump these days anyway. I’ll assess the situation in a few days but I think this is a good start. In the mean time toys are picked up while unattended and she’s giving him his space. I can only imagine how stressed he is. I saw a picture the other day and he didn’t look happy.
I think what he really needs is a good swim. I wonder if somewhere in my area there’s an indoor pool that allows doggies. Probsbly not though, but it would be something he’d love.
Swimming after surgery/rehab/restricted exercise situations should only be if the vet is happy and should be under the guidance and control of a properly qualified hydrotherapist to ensure that the swimming action is good and encourage correct movement with no flailing/splashing around which could cause further injury particularly where exercise has been restricted so some muscle tone has been lost. Having a swim, although fun and good exercise is unlikely to change the current relationship between your wife and your pup. It would be great if life was that simple.
Hey Johnny, are you back home now? How are things going with Duggan? Fingers crossed for you all, especially after everything you have been through. Sounds like you all have a lot on your plates at present. Just wanted to say I was thinking about you and wondering how things are progressing.
Yes I’m Back home and thanks for the follow up interests. Duggan seems as good as ever. He’s walking much better and I see absolutely no signs of stress. My wife had mentioned that she might have over reacted due to being pregnant but there is still the resource guarding issue which also hasn’t shown its ugly face in a while. He goes back for a checkup to hopefully remove the restrictions next week so that we can begin more intence physio and get him off lead and outside more often. She hasn’t mentioned getting rid of him again either which is nice. He’s currently happily engaged with a frozen Kong and loving life. She mentioned he’s noticeably happier since I got home and seems more relaxed. I just showed her this video, which I think helps explains the whole idea behind reward based training in a way that’s not offensive or coming from me. Things are looking up in puppy world for now. Thanks again for the continued support.
Sometimes that's hugely important when dealing with family! Good to hear things are looking up at the moment. Hopefully she can start working on their relationship and doesn't sit back on her laurels with him being happier now you're home. Now, while he is relaxed, is the ideal time to build bridges and bonds
