Help! My girl is so anxious and scared of new things, when she was a puppy she was fine until we got a new neighbour and he was horrible. She absolutely hates men! when we go to the dog park she wont go up to any of them only women and when a male comes into the house she goes crazy- barking at them constantly watching them and running around the house with her tail between her legs and then once they leave she shakes for the rest of the day. The only thing I can think of is our neighbour used to come over and hurt her when we were out. She is six now and that happened when she was a puppy, i thought she would have been over it by now? it seems it is only getting worse. To top things off she won't let any other dogs play with her, she snaps at then when they annoy her. Is there any way of helping her with the man situation? its getting a bit ridiculous now, i'm constantly getting asked if she is rescue dog because of how anxious/scared she is of things and men. I'm not even sure where to start when it comes to helping her, any ideas would be appreciated! thanks
Since I can remember us having the neighbour she has been like this. They ended up moving and we got on wth our lives but she's been the same ever since. We lost our retriever about 2 years ago now too and she won't play with other dogs. When we go to the dog park she just watches everyone's and sometimes runs around but won't actually play with anyone. She's such a beautiful dog and everyone loves her when she warms up to them, it's just this side of her I don't know what to do!
I have even tried to contact the breeder we got her off to have a chat about her and see if anyone else has had problems but she won't call me back. A lot of the time people say to me "how strange, I've never seen a lab like this before" and I'm forever saying I know me either!
She doesn't sound too dissimilar to my girl. It may be nothing to do with your neighbour (how would he have been able to get to her to hurt her?) and that might just be a coincidence. My girl doesn't like to play with most unfamiliar dogs. In fact, other than the two other dogs in the household, and another litter mate who we see sometimes, she doesn't really play with other dogs at all. She can mooch with them, but that's about it. That's fine by me; she's content like that and she doesn't need to play with dogs to be happy. Willow will also snap at other dogs who pester her. As long as she gives fair warning, I'm happy with that. It never escalates to anything else. I try to watch for the signs and intervene before it gets to that stage, as I don't want her to feel like she has to snap, but she has little time for persistently rude dogs. As for the fear of men, I think that's something that could really do with professional help, to set up scenarios that she is comfortable with to help change her perception. It's really not possible to do that sort of thing over the internet, because it will need careful monitoring of her body language throughout. I'm in no doubt that it can be fixed, but a positive methods behaviourist would be my first port of call for creating a plan for her.
We had a lot of problems with him. Our fence between the two houses was only short until we got a bigger one. He used to yell horrible things at her when she barked, we often found dead rats near the fence with no puncture marks from dogs and we used to thing he would have put poison in them! and in the midst of it all the old owner of the house came over and said "just want to warn you guys about the man next door" she told us how she used to baby sit her daughters dog and she came home the dog out the front of the house under the car wheel whimpering and crying, she reckons that he threw her over the fence. He also used to wear high vision shirts because he worked at the airport and every time she seems a man wearing one now she runs for her life. I wish i could explain properly how much men effect her- i can't stress enough about how much distress it puts her in. Since I've read your message i think i've found a positive method behaviourist that might be able to help, i hand't thought of that yet. thanks so much! as for the playing and socialising, do you think something like doggy day care could help? thanks so much!
Oh, he sounds awful! I'm glad you've found a behaviourist, I hope they give you a way forwards. To be honest, I don't think doggy daycare would be good for her at all - if she doesn't want to interact with other dogs, she'd probably find it overwhelming and could make her more reactive. I'd just be content to let her be herself. Not all dogs are the life and soul of the party; some are happy in their own space with just their humans for company and just don't need other dogs to play with. If you want to work on it, though, it's worth mentioning it to the behaviourist. They may have a dog of their own who has good manners and can help bring your girl out of her shell, or may know someone else with a dog like that who might be suitable to introduce. But it needs good understanding of both dogs' behaviour to suggest a match that would help. Do let us know how you get on; these nervous dogs always touch my heart.
I know how you feel, having an anxious dog is quite stressful. I too have been asked if my dog is a rescue, sometimes I just nod rather than admitting that I've had him since a puppy. The Veterinary behaviourist explained that some dogs just do develop anxiety and fears even after good socialization as a puppy, he suggested that these are usually the more intelligent dogs, but I think he says that to everyone. Homer, is petrified of fireworks and thunder and all sorts of banging noises, not helped by the eternal house renovations up and down our street (complete basements being dug out) with endless skip lorries and builders deliveries. The clanging of the skip lorry is a particular trigger for Homer to start panicking and digging up the carpets. We are so aware of his anxiety that we've had words repeatedly with the builders explaining our situation and asking for warning of any skip drop-offs or pick-ups which they've repeatedly ignored. With medication his reactions are now not as severe as they were but that hasn't stopped our anxiety anticipating Homer's reaction every time we hear a builders noise. I actually feel myself shaking internally with rage when a skip lorry rattles past. Homer's been on two different types of anti-anxiety medication, the first didn't agree with him and he became a bit of a bully towards other dogs and barked aggressively at men which he didn't do before but the new medication does appear to help him remain calmer. Now that his medication is beginning to have an effect I think there is also some aspect of learnt behaviour in his reaction to noise as when he hears a noise he will attempt to scratch but can easily be coaxed out of it. Medication may or may not be the right route for your dog, but something you could discuss with your behaviourist and your vet. It is a long slow process but be positive as things can improve. Fiona has made great progress with Willow and is a constant inspiration to me as we begin our journey with desensitizing Homer. I hope your behaviourist is able to give you the support you need. Remember we are here for support and you are not alone.
Aw, thanks Jes, that's so kind of you to say. It's a long journey, to be sure, but now you've got Homer on some meds that work for him, it's a case of changing his emotional response, which you know is doable. To be honest, and as much as it felt like it was forever when Willow was at the height of her problems, in hindsight, it hasn't been that long at all. Most of the hard work happened between February and probably July, and, although we have some way to go still, I'm not on tenterhooks with her the whole time anymore, which is wonderful. We had heavy storms at the end of last week - I popped upstairs to see her a couple of times, and she was absolutely fine I really hope this winter sees her being as OK with the avalanche blasting as she now is with gunshot, storms and high winds, but we won't know until we're back in the snow.
