I think I've got a sepatation problem brewing Miaisie, now 15 weeks, is at home with me all day and up until recently I've been able to pop her in her crate and go out for an hour or two when needed or just for a little while when I need to go shopping, etc. She's always been a bit whiny when I leave the room, but this was improving. Ever since last week when I left her and she was making odd noises, whining, ears back, when I returned, she now cries every time I leave the room, even if someone else is with her. I can't leave her with my husband or kids without her running around looking for me, and crying, etc. Every time I put her in her crate now, she comes out over excited, ears back, making funny little noises! Yesterday we went to our puppy class (which is fab ) and did an exercise where we had to leave our puppy with someone else and move onto the next pup and stay with them. All the pups were fine except Maisie who was straining to get back to me and didn't take her eyes off me even when given treats. In recall practice I have no problem because she doesn't let me out of her sight : I have to go out for a medical appointment this morning, so I could be gone for about 2 hours, and I'm dreading leaving her and having to deal with an over anxious pup when I get back. I'm probably worrying too much, but I'm worried that this could get out of hand and I won't be able to go out!!
Re: Separation anxiety That does sound a bit worrying. I don't have any direct experience of this though, so hard to say if she is just going through a clingy phase or there is a problem. I'd be worried too though. If you really think it's separation anxiety, getting professional help is important. I understand it's a tricky thing, and what to do for the best needs to be based on a good assessment of your dog. Could your vet recommend someone do you think?
Re: Separation anxiety How stressful for you. I agree with Julie. I would be getting professional help. An anxiety problem is not something to muck around with - you are right to want to address this pronto. The solution is likely to involve gradually getting her used to periods of time without you and also other members of your family taking a more prominent role in her life and you stepping back a bit (temporarily). I hope things go ok while you are out this morning.
Re: Separation anxiety It sounds as though she's over attached to you, which I know is hard to avoid if you're the one home with her all day and her primary caregiver. One thing to try, to help overcome the overexcitedness when you return to her is just simply ignoring her, this way she will learn that your return isn't so fantastic. When I was at puppy class our trainer advised that whenevr we returned home from leaving our pups we should just go in, let them out for toilet, hang up our coat or bag, out the kettle on etc and then greet the dog. So they get used to you coming back and being calm. I agree with the others though that if you feel you have a true seperation anxiety issue it's best to consult a professional. When you leave her does she get kongs and things? What do you do when you return to her? It may be that you returning to her is so exciting for her she just spends the entire time you're away anticipating you coming back. One thing I found helpful was to take a step back from caring for Penny (she was getting a bit too clingy with me). I started ignoring her more and leaving her to it when other people were home and encouraging my OH to interact with her more, take her for walks without me. I started leaving her at home with my partner more often when I went out alone, and gradually this seemed to have an effect and she learned to settle better when I wasn't around.
Re: Separation anxiety Hi, I have a few tips that may be of some use to you, after having spent quite a few months training my 2 year old out of this (I've only had him a year & he was attached to me straight away). Firstly, when you leave, don't go through the same motions. Put your keys in a different place, or pick them up 10 minutes before you go out and just pop them on the stairs. Put your shoes on outside. Wear your coat for 10 minutes before you go out the door. Or pop it on & sit in the living room when you've no intention of going out. You get the idea? They're very quick to pick up on hints that you're about to leave, so mixing up the signals will teach her not to panic when she hears keys jangle along with the rattle of the crate door. Leave her a kong or whatever, but if she has true separation anxiety she probably won't touch it. My boy will be gasping on my return and will drink a bucket load, but he won't touch a drop when I'm not in. On your return (I got this tip off someone on this forum) when she's bouncing about, turn your back on her. With Chip being 2 I have to let him straight into the yard as he's so excited he'd knock everything in the house over, so I open up, he comes out like a race hound off a starter block and I stand in the yard with my face in the corner. Only when he's calmed down do I turn and (rather blandly) greet him. If he starts up again, I simply turn back around again. It's taken a few weeks of this, but finally we're at the point where he'll go in his bed rather than pacing and although he still cries a bit, my neighbours tell me it's not the desperate howling that we have had for months! Lastly, every day you must leave her. Even if it's only for 2 minutes while you put the bins out. I found with Chip that if I left him for 10 minutes it had the same effect as 3 hours. So each day I'd pop him away & even stand round the corner - I'm sure the folk on my street think I'm batty, but it's helped his confidence. I've even noticed he's not following me so much - I went to the loo yesterday & he didn't follow, he was mooching around the garden - result!!
Re: Separation anxiety I agree about getting some professional help. Riley doesn't suffer from separation anxiety but he does get used to the status quo and change puts him off balance so this from Kate sounds very sensible to me. If I go out every day Riley is chilled on leaving and return, if I've worked from home for a week straight and I head out for a few hours he's all of a dither. Nothing as bad as you're dealing with but just shows they're creatures of habit Good luck, let us know how you get on
Re: Separation anxiety Is there a way to determine the difference between a true separation anxiety and just being a bit loud and 'pay me attention' barky when they're left alone?
Re: Separation anxiety I think eating is supposed to be a really good indicator, if they're genuinely stressed they don't usually eat.... I don't have any personal experience though
Re: Separation anxiety What Kate mentioned - an anxious dog will not eat when left alone. And a seriously, massively, very afflicted, anxious dog will leave the house looking like a cyclone has gone through it.
Re: Separation anxiety Another tip is use the crate at different intervals during the day not just when you are leaving. So it's not associated to you leaving. Also putting the dog in the crate about 10 minutes before you leave. And as said before don't have things too structured where they expect things to happen at set times or in set orders as any change after that is huge to them. Like putting them in the crate then walking out the door. Makes going in the crate always a precursor to you leaving. Maybe have crate times through the day while you sit in the same room and eat lunch, fold the washing etc. all the while completely ignoring the dog. Remember to wait for a pause in the crying before letting her out of the crate. Play some crate games and make it a fun place where she can feel safe and relaxed. And ignoring her when you get home. Hang up the keys make a cuppa, sort the mail etc. then greet her but again wait for a pause in any crying etc. It is very hard to deal with a real anxiety issue so I agree if you are really worried get some help now as it will only get worse and harder to deal with. Good luck. Keep us posted.
Re: Separation anxiety One small thing that we've found useful is leaving the radio on. One of our previous dogs (Tammy) disliked our going out. Leaving the radio on queitly during the day seemed to help. We're not sure why it worked but suspect that it might simply have been something that stayed constant when other things changed.
Re: Separation anxiety Thank you all so much for your replies. I left Miaisie with a kong and she was too engrossed to know that I'd gone out. I waited outside, but no barking. When I got back 2 hours later, I peered through the window and could see her sitting up in her crate as she had heard the car on the gravel drive, but no barking. I went in the house, put my stuff down, put the kettle on and then went to let her out, she was still sitting there making no noise, until I let her out and then she started whining, grunting and had her ears back, very over excited but not jumping. She had eaten most of her kong. I just ignored her and she went back in her crate for her Kong and is happily sitting outside in the sun!! Having read all your thoughts and experiences, I'm not sure that it's true separation anxiety, but probably over attachment. I need to get my hubby and kids to start playing more of a role in looking after Maisie and take a step back. She's really not keen on her crate, never has been, and will only sleep in it if I put her there! I'm going to have to start popping her in her crate and leaving her for short times during the day and carry on as if she is not there!! I'm going to re-read all your comments, make a list of things to try and I'll let you know how I get on! All that aside, she is doing so well with training, house training has been easy and she is so loving and funny she makes my day! Here she is at training yesterday - she's gone all leggy! ;D
Re: Separation anxiety ah love that leggy look is it just me or do her paws still look big though.....still some growing to do little one? ;D
Re: Separation anxiety Hi Debs, Sorry no advice to give regarding the separation anxiety, hopefully it will get better soon. I have yet to leave Nellie so am reading all the good advice the others are giving. I am due to go back to work next Tuesday so will begin to leave her for short periods of time until then. Loving the picture of Maisie though she has grown so much!
Re: Separation anxiety Glad it seemed to go better today Harley loves me going out as it means it's kong time Maisie is growing up quickly, so cute
Re: Separation anxiety That experience you had of leaving her with the Kong actually sounds pretty positive I think that if you follow all the advice in this thread you will be able to head this off at the pass. Let us know how you go
Re: Separation anxiety Sounds as if leaving Maisie went well today. Love the photo - she's growing up so quickly.
Re: Separation anxiety It sounds as if you had a good day today. Good results. I think keep going as you did today and you should see some improvement. I can't beleive how much like my Penny she looks! Personalities seem similar too as Penny never uses her crate of her own accord. She will never put herself to bed yet if she knows we are going out or it's night time she will go in as she knows that's her routine. Fingers crossed for another positive day tomorrow. Even if you don't have to go out for anything maybe try and just go for a walk around the block so you leave Maisie even for just half an hour, it just pop her in the crate while you put the vacuum round or eat some lunch etc.
