Grrrr. I feel so sick and tired of everything at the moment! Come back from our evening dog walk so frustrated I want to cry. It seems that Penny and I can no longer enjoy nice peaceful dog walks. The green space we regularly walk in is a place that no one ever goes. That's why I like it. The most people you will see in there is one person with one dog and they're easy to avoid. Recently it seems like everyone has just discovered this field and everytime I've been there in the last week there's been several people there all with dogs. We go there tonight there's four sets of people with dogs and a group of kids running around with footballs and bikes. Hell on earth for Penny and I. Poor Penny has had a rubbish walk today. We went to the first green space - there's someone there playing ball. This field is quite small so it's best avoided if there's someone already there. Go to the next one and it's the hell I described above. So we walk around half of it with her on lead, dodging the bikes, balls and dogs almost successfully. Then we head home and almost get mown down by a cyclist ON THE PAVEMENT! No wonder Penny hates cyclists - this happens on a regular basis. Then we turn the corner and almost literally bump into something new - a skateboarder. Now Penny hates those too. I'm feeling so upset and frustrated. We've had a horrible walk and I'm sure Penny can tell how p****d off I am at the world right now. I know I've kind of taken it out on her by storming off home but we've had such a bad evening I really didn't want to continue our walk. I just wish the world would give me a break! I am working my ass off trying to help Penny and re-socialise her with things but days like today make me wonder why I bother. I should just hole up in the house and never take her out. Some days I wonder what I did to deserve this. I'm off for a cry now. Today I hate the outside world.
Re: So sick of it all now Hi Lauren, [quote author=Penny+Me link=topic=7597.msg106079#msg106079 date=1409507220]... days like today make me wonder why I bother ...[/quote] We all have ****y days. We bother because not all days are like this and because we love our dogs. You know how our trainers always tell us to finish on a successful attempt at a particular exercise (so that that is the final thing that the dog remembers about the exercise)? Well, I think we benefit from the same approach. Rather than re-visiting the walk though what about some simple 'in house' training, just for 10 minutes or so doing something that Penny enjoys (not something new - now is not a good time for that). Eg Find the treats in the house, some short duration stays, anything that you know that you can both do well just to finish on a good note. Then stop and call it quits for today. You'll feel better and you'll be all set to tackle the world tomorrow with renewed enthusiasm
Re: So sick of it all now I'm just so tired of it all. I'm sick of being the one with the problem dog, who has to walk at unsociable hours so I don't offend anyone, who can't take their dog to the local park or dog friendly events. I'm tired of everyone staring at me and talking about me and my dog behind our backs, because she wears an 'I need space' bandana. I've heard what people say, the looks people gave me in our Rally class when Penny kicked off and I had to take her into a corner to calm her down because they let their dog get too close, the way people shout at me when she barks at their children who just scared the crap out of her with those stupid little scooters by rushing up behind her. I feel ashamed and embarrassed on a daily basis because I couldn't raise my dog right. And my poor little puppy doesn't deserve any of this, I failed her and she has to suffer. I wouldn't change her for the world, I love her to peices. I'm sorry. I know this is so stupid to get upset about.
Re: So sick of it all now Hi Lauren, Firstly I hope you are OK and a good cry sometimes makes us feel better. You can't avoid any of these things that Penny doesn't like and you can't hide from the world. I have had more of these days in the last 3 years with Charlie than I could poke a stick at believe me and I have very nearly thrown the towel in on several occasions as I just couldn't take any more, but thankfully I didn't because, like UB has said, we love our dogs and want/need to do the best for them and I know you want that for Penny too Do some hunting games in your garden with Penny or a little retrieving. I couldn't agree more with UB about ending on a good note and the successes will far outweight the non successes eventually. You have a lot on your plate with planning your wedding so don't be so hard on yourself but also try to remember that all these people with their dogs, kids on their bikes, etc. don't know that this is hell on earth for Penny as they are trying to have fun too. Do you drive? Chin up tomorrow is another day and you will get there. xxx
Re: So sick of it all now Oh dear Lauren, sorry you have had such a bad day You sound really upset. I don't particularly have a solution for you on this, but know how you feel coming home feeling like you want to cry (our friendly deer population and Lilly's tunnel vision has driven me to tears before on several occasions) And you have an awful lot on your plate just now. Truth is, I don't think Penny would really bother if you didn't have an off lead walk. I know that Lilly is really adaptable, and if we only have one short walk some days, or like at the moment only on-lead shorties, its me that feels a bit guilty - she isn't bothered as long as she gets two square meals Like Uncle Bob says, anticipate the spoilers will be there, do some on lead stuff, fun in the house......and wait until the weather turns and all the fair-weather walkers leave your patch alone. You are trying your hardest, not like you aren't doing anything to try and sort this out! Hope you feel a bit better this evening. Don't beat yourself up about it. Wish I could pop through t'internet and give you a hug. xx
Re: So sick of it all now Hey Lauren. Sorry you've had a bad night, I can empathise as my lovely girl Cuilli has some of the same issues as Penny and it can be hard sometimes, I think its a lot harder owning a super sensitive dog in an urban environment ( thinking of the thread a few weeks ago), dogs living in these environments have a lot more to deal with and cope with on a daily basis anyway, add a good dollop of sensitivity and it can sometimes result in a walk like yours. Cuillin is also terrified of skateboarders after some young kids roared past us on the pavement, feels the same about scooters, isnt keen on groups of dogs she doesnt know racing about, and can be reactive when she feels unsure of herself. In Edinburgh a lot of these situations can arise so I do know how you feel. Sorry if Ive missed this in other posts but have you tried Reactive Rover classes or similar with Penny? not so much because of the classes, but more because its really good to speak to other folk with reactive dogs, unless you have owned and worked with a reactive dog you will have no idea how blooming stessful it can be, speaking to other folk with the same experiences can be quite heartwarming!! And you know what, there are a whole lot of folk where I live who have dogs with Penny and Cuilli's issues who simply dont care about their dogs as much as we do, its because you care about Penny that a walk like tonights can be upsetting...is there anywhere you can get to that is quieter for walks? I find if I keep Cuillis potential stessors to a minimum she copes well with the odd blip, overload her and she spirals upwards in stress score very quickly!! Im sure you know all this though, just wanted to let you know I know how you feel, bet Penny would love a good game of Find It and a cuddle, and she'll forget all about tonight...chin up and keep doing what you are doing Penny is a lucky girl to have someone who loves her so much!
Re: So sick of it all now So sorry to hear this Lauren I just wish I could take you both to the woods near us - no scooters or skateboards there.
Re: So sick of it all now Oh dear, Lauren, so sorry you've had a bad day. Hugs to you, you have lots on your plate right now and it's understandable that everything is a bit overwhelming. First of all, please don't think that it was something that you did that caused Penny's issues. You took home a puppy and loved her to bits, and you are continuing to try to help her work things out. She is lucky to have you! If it makes you feel any better, I'm sure Penny had a much different perception of your walk. She had a chance to be outside with her person, she had some sniffs and exercise, and even if she was scared by a couple of things I would think that in her mind the good outweighed the bad. Try not to worry about the on lead vs off lead walks. Honestly, Simba has been with us for a year and the on lead walks have FAR outweighed the ones off lead, by a very long shot. He takes it all in stride. The leash I have is a four foot bungee type lead, so not like he is roaming round on a long lead. He basically just trots along beside me and sniffs and gets treats for the many "leave its" I have to do along the way. : He is always eager to go out the door! As I have been working through recall, etc, he has been able to have some off lead walks, at the moment we are at the long line stage, but he certainly doesn't get these every day, maybe 2-3 x a week. Anyhow, you love your dog and that is the most important thing. You will work through the rest, she may never get past some of the issues, or she may, you never know. As long as you keep progressing forward it's all good. Hang in there, feet up and have a nice cuppa (or something stronger ) and be easy on yourself. Tomorrow will be another day, upward and onward.....and feel free to vent here when you need to. We all need to do that's from time to time....
Re: So sick of it all now Hope you have relaxed a bit since you got back! I'm sure Penny was happy just to go out with you. When the weather changes for the worse, I am sure your walks will change for the better. I have had lots of bad walks when I've come home because Harley jumped on a child or adult, or shook water all over someone or took a donut out of a child's hand (she did do this gently though!!). It is difficult and I know Penny adores you, I know this by watching you two together on our group walk in snuff mills. Keep your chin up. Tomorrow is another day x
Re: So sick of it all now Today was particularly difficult because it was the last weekend before the schools go back and everybody was out enjoying themselves. Everybody that is, except us dog owners who have less than perfect dogs. Molly nearly pulled my arms out of their sockets and wanted to play with a new Labrador puppy on the street. It was clear from the owners expression that I am nuts and my dog is nuts. All I can say is "Wait and see' Yes it is hard raising a young Labrador, much harder than I thought, but we are we love our dogs and are busting a gut to get it right so we will succeed. You are so knowledgable and caring that you are doing it right. And I needed this pep talk as much as you
Re: So sick of it all now Oh Lauren.....I'm sorry you've felt so upset....xxxxxx I've still got the bounciest most exhuberhant dog in the park,the one who had still got a spectacular Leap and lunge when he's not under strict observation and the one who will have a bark at a man he doesn't like the look at approaching me.....AND I'm still the owner plugging away with the clicker and food treats when everybody else just seems to have their dog telepathically under control : I feel pretty much embarrassed by something everyday...sometimes I can smile about it ,other times I wonder why it has to feel like a slog......and those are the days when I think people are smirking at me and probably making comments. If you've heard somebody say something critical well it's mean and unnecessary but you know what ,they might just be looking at you out of compassion,it could so easily be them and when you are upset it can make you self conscious and it's easy to convince yourself that everyone is watching and judging.....they are probably deciding what they want for their tea ;D The reactive rover classes sound a great idea,it would help Penny be around dogs with sympathetic owners and you wouldn't feel like the odd one out....even though you aren't , there's plenty of other owners dealing with sensitive dogs,Although some of them may have given up and stay indoors or walk at reaaaaallllllly antisocial hours.You haven't done anything wrong ,Penny is who she is and she is in the right hands with all the experience of dogs you have.....imagine how it could have gone if she had become part of a family like ours.....with little and NO experience........ Are you able to manage meeting the Forum guys that are organising the next walk?Penny has been out with them before and everybody knows her .....you could try if it's not too far away,it might help your confidence too? When I visited Dexters breeders last week their eyes shot up in their heads when I told them how much walking he gets .....they said they really don't need as much as you think they do ,so the days you feel like it's not going well.....don't persevere,give yourself and Penny a break and like UB said come home and do something fun together .... Im replying the day after your post so I hope you feel better today and have a better time with Penny xxx
Re: So sick of it all now I cant add to the advice Lauren, but just to say please don't give up , we all go through these issues to one degree or another , we have all had those " why did I do it " moments , we`re all here when you feel low , tomorrow is another day , hugs xx
Re: So sick of it all now Well you aren't alone Lauren we have our issues too, TBH I am finding just smiling and saying we are a work in progress diffuses most situations, telling people how lucky they are to have such calm dogs makes them feel good too. I find Elsie gets more exuberant the more wound up I get so keeping calm in all situations helps her too. Bicycles and skate boards are a nuisance just recently I stopped getting out of the way if they are on the pavement and they are learning get out of my way now too. Stand your ground and let them move I say !
Re: So sick of it all now Oh poor you Lauren, I just hate those days! I do get sensitive to other peoples reactions..I try hard constantly plugging away with training, and yes we are seeing improvement most days...but there the times well..it just falls apart! On our walks I am always scanning for the dog walkers, in order to give myself time to recall Benson back if he is off-lead, which is most of the time as he soooo needs the exercise! Sometimes though, he doesn't come back...and sometimes the owners just don't appreciate how much work it takes, they give me "that look". Sigh. Nothing for me is more annoying than an owner, deep in conversation on their mobile with their obedient dog trotting beside them and Benson wanting to play...my heart sinks if I spot this scenario... If you want to organise something, just with Benson and Harley...just shout, then the three of us can take turns "scanning" the horizon! ;D ;D I am sure Naya won't mind, Penny is such a wonderful lab x
Re: So sick of it all now You definitely haven't failed your girl. She loves you to bits and wouldn't swap you for anyone
