My black lab is 12.5 (almost) and has oral melanoma. We first saw it when he was a month shy of 12 years old, and he had it operated on to remove the tumor and make him comfortable a month later. Within 2 weeks the tumor started growing back. We've had him on Rimadyl (Novox) since then and he's been on and off antibiotics to keep the grossness under control. He's been happy and eating like a champ and all of that. In the past week or so I've just noticed he seems a little worse. He still acts the same, but his tumor seems larger and more irritated. Its bleeding a bit and I think its because he cant help but chew it sometimes when he eats. He has a large lump in his throat (lymph node?) and he coughs or clears his throat more. It sounds like he might throw up but he never does. Then he goes back to being normal. He loves to get pets, and he still loves to eat. In any case, this isnt going to end well and I think its time to put him down. My husband called and made the appointment today. So its next Wedesnday night. Its killing me to think about it at time, but at other times I think I might actually be relieved. Does that make any sense? I think once its done I will be sad, but feel OK too. Its the waiting part that gives me too much time to think and makes me sad. I think my husband and I will both go to be there with him but I dont know if I can be in the room when they actually administer the final shot. Will I regret it? I dont know, but I can picture myself changing my mind if I'm there to watch the entire thing. Its MY dog, but in reality he's as much DH's dog as mine. He's always lived with the 2 of us (and the kids when they came along) and DH is the one who feeds him every morning, and takes him to the bus stop with the kids when its time to go to school. So I dont think the dog will miss me if I'm not there with him at that exact second. I've got 2 kids, ages 6 and 8. Is there anything I can do to help them? They wont come to the vets with us. They are going to be heartbroken though. They are already crying at the though because every few days I tell them that the dog is not feeling good and he's getting worse. I want to prepare them, I guess so it doesnt come as a shock. But at the same time I dont want them to be thinking about this all the time and being sad at school and what not. We are getting a new puppy in early October, so that is something to look forward too, and we will get to visit the pups a few days after we have to put our dog down. Does anyone have any nice ideas on things to do to remember your dog? Did you bury the ashes or scatter them someplace? I've heard of someone making a plaster pawprint or a paint pawprint of their dog before he died. That sounds like it might be nice.
Re: Time to say goodbye I'm sorry that you've had to make what is ultimately one of the most difficult decisions as an owner. I don't have very much advice for you I'm afraid, except to say if you don't stay with him you might regret it. Several years ago I had a cat who had to be euthanised and I decided at the time I didn't want to go with him so my dad took him. Looking back now I really regret not knowing. I have had many dogs go to sleep in my arms whilst working in rescue and I feel that it is an important act of closure. It's probably different with your own pet but with the kennel dogs Ive been with I feel it makes them feel loved up until the last moment, in that place and time I am their owner and I owe it to them to stay with them. I hope you manage to make his last week a lovely memorable one for you and your family - maybe you can take him to as many of the places he loves as possible like the beach or favourite parks to run in, let him eat steak and all the things he shouldn't me and a colleague were spending the half an hour leading up to the appointment with one of our kennel dogs feeding her chocolate buttons just because it was the one time we could. She loved it and we had a great time and some very good memories of that dog now.
Re: Time to say goodbye Oh dear, I'm so so sorry to hear this news. There are others on here who have gone through this and are much more able to offer advice, just wanted to say how sorry I am. :'( The only thing of use I maybe could say, is kids are a lot more resilient than we often give them credit for. Good luck. xx
Re: Time to say goodbye So sorry to read this. My girl is 14 now and I know that day probably isn't far away. I've already decided if I have to call our vet in (I want the evil deed done here at home, meg gets so stressed at vets) I will stay with meg. It's going to destroy me doing it but my first priority is for meg. Meg and I have been through a lot together, mainly hubs dying suddenly 7 years ago and then her illness. At the end of the day we can tell you what we would do but you can only decide for yourself. As for your children, bless them, it's best to prepare them. Although you've got new pup in October (lucky you ) the children will be upset. I think you need to be truthful with them. They already know that he's not getting any better. My heart goes out to you. Such a difficult situation.
Re: Time to say goodbye I'm so sorry to read your sad news My husband scattered the ashes of his childhood dog on one of his favourite walks near a tree. The family still refer to it as Jacks tree when we go up there. It's a lovely reminder of a wonderful dog who is know known as Saint Jack as he never did anything wrong (he was a labrador though so you make up your mind about that )
Re: Time to say goodbye It's such a hard decision but it comes to a point when you know it's the right one. I totally understand about feeling relieved. You will be able to stop worrying there is nothing wrong with that. I was the same the couple of weeks before I made the decision were the worst because I knew it was imminent. In fact I think that was the worse thing about it. Once I knew he'd had enough i knew what i had to do I called the vet and they came out that lunch time. Obviously it cost more to have a home visit but that's what I decided on and they came the same day. Although its hard you are doing the right thing. You know your dog. Take care all of you. x
Re: Time to say goodbye I'm so sorry to read your message,what a sad time for you and your family.Dexter is our first dog so I can't help you with any advice I'm sorry,just wanted to stop by to acknowledge your post. My very best wishes Angela x
Re: Time to say goodbye The worst time of a dog owner's life, but you are doing the best thing for him. I have been in this position twice. Once, like you, I knew it was coming. I asked the Vet "how will I know when it is the right time?". She said, "you will" and she was right. I strongly recommend that you be there, otherwise you may regret it. It is nothing to be frightened of, a sick old dog merely puts it's head on its paws and goes to sleep. You will feel pretty rough for a few days afterwards. You have said "Goodbye" to an old friend. It will hurt, but you have saved him from a great deal of unpleasantness.
Re: Time to say goodbye Oh I am so sorry to hear your sad news, but you don't need me to tell you that you are making the hardest but kindest decision for your dear friend . Until very recently , I worked as a volunteer for the Blue Cross on their Pet Bereavement Support Service helpline so over the years , I have spoken to thousands of sad owners who are where you are right now . My advice was always the same , allow yourself to grieve, don't try to hide your tears . Talk about your dog and if this is too hard, write about your dog, its a good release of emotion . Maybe make a memory box, in which you can place treasured items such as a collar and lead, photos , toys .It may be that you wont wish to look at them for some time , but it will be there when you feel up to it . Plant a tree, shrub or rose bush in your garden , a special place , and if they are alright with it , allow the children to help with this . I would advise you to ring the Blue Cross Pet Bereavement Support Service 0800 096 6606 , they will happily post you some literature regarding children and pet loss, it really can help . My thoughts are with you and yours in this sad time .
Re: Time to say goodbye I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope you and your family say peaceful goodbyes, and find a way to manage through this tough time. My mum planted daffodils under the tree in the garden where my black lab (I had as a kid) used to lie in the shady bit. It was a lovely thing to see each spring.
Re: Time to say goodbye Ah such a hard time. I have had 3 dogs PTS now. Each were done at home and are buried at home. My vet always said you will know when the time is right, and he ways right. I was with each of them and am so glad I was. With my last dog my boys were 2 and although very young they still talk/miss him now 4 years later. We have photos up everywhere and that helps us all. A new pup certainly gives a new chapter and will help you focus on the future. I hope your sadness is minimised with remembering the good times. My heart goes out to you, Emma.
Re: Time to say goodbye Very sorry to hear your sad news. I was a vet nurse and when some owners (understandably) felt they couldn't be with there dog when he/she was put to sleep, they would look for the owner. If you can possibly bear it, be with your dog, hold your dog, think happy thoughts for your dog's sake and then weep with grief afterwards. You will feel comforted if you can be there, because your dog will slip peacefully away knowing that you are with it.
Re: Time to say goodbye just to say what a very difficult time for you, I always think it is such a brave decision to put your beloved dogs well-being first, and help them have a dignified and gentle passing.
Re: Time to say goodbye Very sorry to hear your sad news ;( I have done some work with children around bereavement for pets and have made memory boxes with them - writing a letter to the dog about the good things they can remember doing together and to say goodbye, taking a special photo of them with the dog and placing it in the box along with maybe a favourite ball/toy. Children are resilient and I am sure getting a new pup will help with their grief.
Re: Time to say goodbye Aww so sorry to hear this. Such a hard time. I don't have a lot of advice for you except to say that I would think if you can manage it to be there it would probably be helpful to you in some ways. But if your hubby is going to be there then you don't necessarily have to be there for the final moments if you don't want to. My kids were young when my first dog died, he was poisoned by antifreeze when he escaped from our yard and so he had not been sick for a long time. It was very hard to have to tell them what had happened, and they were sad but kids are very resilient. And death is a part of life, after all, having a pet die is practice, in a sense, for the harder deaths they will have to face later on. They will take cues from you, if you can let them see at least some of your grief they will know it's okay to be sad but also okay to feel better and move on when the time comes. Hugs to you...it's going to be a long week for you....
Re: Time to say goodbye My heart goes out to you, we had the same thing with our 11.5year old lab Max in December, he had a tumour in his lung, his cough got so bad he was wretching, we took him to the vets with te intention of making him comfortable and booking into be PTS, but things were worse tan we realised and we had to do it there and then, which was so hard. I had been torn about whether i could stay with him for the procedure, but at the time i had no hesitation and i am so glad i stayed, i held his face in my hands kissing and cuddling him, while my OH held him and it was so peaceful, he literally fell asleep,with his head in my hands. It is one of the hardest things i've ever done, but i am so glad i did it, i felt i looked after him as his Mummy right to the end. We had a similar decision for our 14 year old lab girl Lizzie in June this year, but before we could book her in for the next day, she passed peacefully at home early that morning again, being held by the two of us, I think she knew,what was happening and decided it would be on her terms, at home on her bed with her Mummy and Daddy. I can't help with dealing with children over it, as our boys are 22, but sadly they missed saying goodbye to both of them due to not being able to get back soon enough, which they struggled with - it's hard to see 22 year old 6'4" twin boys heartbroken at the loss of their beloved pets, but also showed how much they loved them. We have taken great comfort from the Rainbow Bridge poem, maybe that would help them? Enjoy your final days together, and take lots of photos to treasure. Lou xx
Re: Time to say goodbye Hi there, I know exactly how you feel as I had to say goodbye to my faithful companion Fudge age 13 recently with a similar condition. As I had told my 2 young sons that she wouldn't live past the Summer, if was less of a trauma for them than the sudden death of our 4 year old lab in October (although the boys were still very very sad). To mark the passing of both our lovely dogs, we had large pebbles engraved from Forpetmenot and made a special planter with bulbs and flowers- this really helped. For all my family, having our puppy Buddy has helped us smile a lot- I'm so pleased that a new pup will be joining your family too. With love,
Re: Time to say goodbye I think what you are feeling is totally normal. Definitely a time of mixed emotions... My advice would be to try to be with him if you can. It will be really hard, but, later on, you might gain some extra comfort from having been there. And take lots of photos and video over the next week. And be gentle on yourself afterwards. You're doing a brave and loving thing.
Re: Time to say goodbye Sorry to hear your sad news, and I can totally relate having had to say goodbye to two dearly beloved dogs over the last couple of years. If you can bear it, do stay with him. He will feel safe with you there, and I think you will gain comfort from knowing you helped him in his last moments. I had both my dogs cremated, and scattered their ashes down the garden with my children. We planted bluebells and daffodils in that area, and in the spring I am reminded of them even more. Be strong for your good lad.
Re: Time to say goodbye hi, i am so very sorry that you are losing your beloved dog,i have lost 2 dogs in the past year and know excactly how you feel,both were rescue dogs and i had only had them for such a short time,lewi was only 4/5 and bella was only 4,it was the hardest thing i ever had to do,and it broke my heart both times,it is a very sad time for you and your familly,only advise i can add is dont hold your grief in let the tears flow,your new puppy will help you so much,we got meg just a couple of weeks after i lost bella and she helped me so much,
