Hi everyone, This is a long story but ill try and make it as short as possible About a year ago my son ( 15yrs )was diagnosed with depression and his therapist suggested a dog as i am working long hours (9am -10pm) and he is lonely in the house. He has stopped going to school as much before he was diagnosed and it bothers me on how much education hes missing out on, so i brought it up to him a few weeks ago and with a dog he has promised to go back to school, now we have a beautiful golden lab booked and hes ready to be picked up in 2 weeks! It has just hit me that i dont know how we are supposed to manage a dog when i work 13 hour shifts 4 out of 7 days on a good week and my son will be in school from 9 to 3. We live in a fairly large house and have a large backyard but i dont know what to do about me and my sons working schedule. I have read that leaving them alone can cause anxiety and mental problems in pups and will make potty training alot harder on the dog. If someone could help me or give me advice on whether you think it is possible to have a pup with these circumstances? Thanks ( i am a single parent so there us nobody else at home but my mother lives next door)
I'm glad that you're thinking about this before picking the pup up, because I'm not sure whether it's going to work. You absolutely could make it work, but you'd need a lot of help from your mum (if she's willing) or else you'll have to pay for a nice daycare or a good dog walker. Do you have leave booked for the early weeks? At least 2 weeks? Puppies need a lot of time and attention. I also know how utterly exhausting working 13 hour shifts is. You're not going to be in the mood for training/walking after that long at work. Will your son pick up the slack? He'll have good days and bad days, and even mentally healthy teenagers can be useless at the best of times - @Harley Quinn might have some input, she's a psychiatrist. And Lab puppies are hard work. Really hard work. It varies between dogs of course, but they don't really start becoming nice companions until adulthood. You've got to put a lot of time and effort into them when they're young to get that stereotypical Labrador that you're probably envisioning. You'll get a lot more feedback once Europe wakes up because I'm certainly not very experienced (first time dog owner of a 2 year old).
Hi Isaac, As a brand new lab owner I thought I'd weigh in with my opinion (inexperienced as I may be). Lab puppies are a ton of hard work initially, way more than you're probably anticipating. I will even admit to having a slight breakdown yesterday from being so overwhelmed with it all. As said above, I would absolutely recommend time off your work to raise your pup through the early stages (2 weeks minimum) as they will require 100% of your time and dedication at this early stage (just typing out this message has taken well over an hour because I've had to stop every 10 minutes to tend to my Morty). Its good that you have your Mother next door to you, would she be willing to help with dog sitting while you and your son are out the house? This website has also been my saviour these last 2 weeks as it has so much great advice and knowledge on almost every aspect of raising a lab, I'd definitely recommend reading a lot of the articles and posts here to get yourself ready.
I echo the above posts. Labrador puppies are extremely hard work, I considered myself an experienced dog owner 2 years ago when Cassie came home at 8 weeks. The biting, "crocopup" behavior was off the scale, I'd never experienced it before with any other puppy, and the early weeks and months were a struggle. I had a lot to learn. On top of that there is housetraining which calls for vigilance and consistency for weeks and maybe months depending on your puppy. They need to go outside at least every 20 minutes. And being alone is not good for them at all. Labs are bright and training them is a joy, but it takes time and commitment before the stereo typical Labrador that @Xena Dog Princess talks about emerges, so you will need extra help for sure.
Hi and welcome. As the others have said, puppies need a lot of input over their first few months and continuation of this throughout their lives. For the first week or two the pup will need someone with him for the majority of the day/night. He will need to go for a wee/poo very regularly- during the day, for a wee, about every 20mins then when he wakes up after a snooze, after play, after eating etc. You will need to be up every few hours in the night as he will need a wee - their bladders are very small at this age. Pups need feeding 4 times a times a day to start with until they are about 3/4 months old, then drop to 3 meals a day when 5/6 months old. This will need someone home to feed him. Pups can be an amazing addition to any family, but can also be very hard work. I really recommend you buy ‘The Happy Puppy’ book by Pippa Mattinson and both yourself and your son read it as it details the first months of a pups life and what to expect.
I've said this before (essentially), but Labrador puppies are evil incarnate. Okay, they're not "evil" per say, but they are absolutely nothing like one would expect the youthful version of a beautiful and well trained guide/therapy dog to be. They're exuberant, biting, crazy, hyper...utterly shocking little monsters. They become gorgeous and loving family members eventually...but that takes time, patience, and a whole lot of training. I'm currently on my third Labrador, and it wasn't so long ago he'd literally pull me over with embarrassing regularity on our morning walks. Time and training defeated that behavior, but despite my experience with Labs, I'm pretty sure I suffered a mild concussion after one episode - not to mention the bruises and bleeding during his crocopup phase. I'm not attempting to turn you off the idea of having your own little bundle of fluffy cuteness, but point out the reality to you. It's hard work. If you want it to work you really are going to have to be organized - and ensure your puppy receives enough time and education/training despite your long working hours. In any case - all the best and good luck. I couldn't be without my boy (I too have a psychiatric disorder and find him a great motivation to stay engaged and active)....but he's just over 18 months and I've only really begun to see the light at the end of the tunnel now.
You will need a great deal of support. Lab puppies, to grow up happy and well behaved, need to be with people. They can be left for up to an hour, or maybe two, a day but the rest of the time they need their people to teach them everything they need to learn. Just as importantly, dogs are social animals and do not thrive alone. Imagine being left alone with no TV, books or computers. Pups don’t play alone even when they are with you - they play with people and/or other dogs. Good doggy day care would be the answer but you need to be sure they are competent and able to properly socialise and care for a pup. But personally I would strongly recommend a re-think and finding something else to motivate your son. .
Maybe an older dog would be a good idea? That way chances are they’ll already (likely) be toilet trained and have gotten past the chewing stage. As long as your son was willing to take the dog out before and after school, someone visiting and maybe a walk during the 6 hours he’s at school should be sufficient. My puppy went to daycare when he was a puppy and it cost a lot of money. That was with help from family. We spent £200-£300 a month some months. Now he’s 2, we just have a dog walker and he’s just much easier generally. Good luck! It’s a hard decision to make & I hope whatever you choose works out well for you & your son
Hi and welcome! Only you know how many resources you have, both in terms of your energy levels to deal with non-stop puppy after working your long hours, plus arranging for day care, going to training and paying for all that. Personally, my take would be that a puppy is not going to be a good fit for your situation. However, that doesn't mean no dog as I think they can truly help with mental health issues such as depression. At your son's age, there may be better options to include a dog (or dogs) in his life that do not mean starting from scratch with your own puppy. This could be a youth volunteer program at your local shelter walking or in other ways caring for the dogs there. It could be offering to walk the dog of an elderly neighbour who can't get out as much as they would like. It could even be volunteering at a training centre or veterinary office or seeing if there is a youth program to get involved with PATS. Or if you decide that you really want the full time responsibility of a dog in your house (and you have to assume that YOU will be providing 100% of the care of the dog for his entire lifetime, not your son), then fostering or adopting an older dog would be a better option than a puppy. I once took an eight year old foster from my local shelter and she just fit in so well to the household it was amazing. No housetraining, no destructiveness, just love and the comfort I needed after the death of my first dog. She was also very high energy and jogged and hiked with me for years (I ended up adopting her). Just to to say that there are lots of options that do not carry the very heavy weight of taking on an eight week old puppy. Your heart is definitely in the right place, but maybe just tweak your plan a bit to fit your life better.
We have had 3 adult rescues so far. We are a family of 2 - OH works 8am-5pm, I work 1pm-6pm. I don't think we could manage a to bring up a puppy from 8 weeks old at this stage in our lives. I still work hard on Coco's training daily (we didn't bother with the other 2 as they were so easy going - but looking back, shockingly untrained!), but he doesn't need a constant eye for house training, he can be left for a few hours to sleep the afternoon away - he does get an awful lot of attention when one or both of us are home though. It will be adult rescues for us until one of us retires I think. It is an amazing alternative to the 8 week old puppy.
Unless your mother can be fully involved for all the times you are not there, then I can’t see how this could work. Your 4 long working days would make it very hard for you and with you and your son out the house for a large chunk of the day, who would give the puppy the care and attention it would need? I am sure there are other solutions to helping your son with his depression and reluctance to go to school but I honestly don’t see a puppy in this scenario. Sorry if this sounds harsh.
I work part time 12 hrs per week over 4 days. my commute is only 10 minutes. My husband works full time but half of his hours are from home. His commute is ten minutes, 15 by bicycle. Most of the time our hoyrs are opposite but there are 2 times a week when pup needs to be home alone for 90 minutes. Otherwise it's 20 minute chunks (3 x per week) when he is home while i leave for work but my husband is not yet home. To be honest I dont know if we could do it otherwise. We had two full weeks off together when we brought the puppy home. We swapped oit night wakes and who got up at 5am for toiket breaks. Despite that we were both zombies for the first two weeks. It's not just tge night wake ups but everything all day long. Every 45 minutes taking him out to pee. Ckeaning up the few times you missed and he peed inside. Feeding and washing a food bowl 4x a day. Playing and interacting. Teaching pupy his name and simple commands. And you still have to live your normal life - cook and clean uo for yourself, laundry, housecleaning, etc. It is like having a newborn baby, truly. I would not leave my 15yo during the day to do all of this alone unless it is a 15yo who has done this several times and knows what they are doing and can be responsible. I can't see this kind of life helpingvto lift out of depression - it sank my husband and I INTO a mini depression thinking about how great ourvlife had been and how now we are overworked exhausted zombies who dont leave the house!! I miss my son who is 9 years old because it seems every moment is being used up paying attention to the puppy. It's been 4 weeks now and it is so much better now, each week is a bit easier. But I truly think that unless your mom is committed to the puppy being mostly her responsibility, you might want to rethink the situation.
sorry there are a lot of typos in that message. Im typing while standing outside waiting for puppy to poop!
I had never even thought about getting an older dog for him, when someone tells you that they are getting a new dog you automatically think “puppy”. Alot of the animal shelters in our town wont accept him because he is isnt 16 yet and there are health and safety policies requiring him to be 16. Im thinking an older dog would really be great for him so they both can play together and go for walks without all that puppy fuss. The lab pups are sooo cute tho! Thank you for your help, i really appreciate it
Hi @Isaac, you have recieved fantastic advice and some healthy reality checks from people who currently are enduring their puppy days. I think starting your son off with an after school and weekend engagement at a local animal charity or shelter will be a great way to get him involved without him feeling overwhelmed by his duty to care for his own dog right now. A huge part of depression are the negative thoughts which make feelings of guilt so much more intrusive and paralysing. Becoming involved with helping animals and people, and "earning" a dog of his own will help you all to see where he is right now with regards to his emotional well being and level of adolescent responsibility. It also greatly helps with feelings of meaning and purpose, which directly negate helplessness and hopelessness. If you do decide a dog of his own is the way you want to go then I would recommend an older dog. Basically an older dog, specifically chosen (so to exclude a highly anxious or serious history of abuse) will pretty much give you a ready made package of dog enjoyment. Puppies are not fun. They are hard, hard work and shake most of us to our absolute core. My Harley is now 20 months and she is awesome. I can take her to classes, do training at home or decide to have a quieter day with less activity, maybe more mental stimulation. She is such a joy. I did not enjoy her as a biting, jumping and terrorising puppy. Thanks for the mention @Xena Dog Princess, and I do work in private practice as a clinical psychologist (we have way more fun than psychiatrists) and Harley works in my practice with me. Actually mostly with teens. I believe, wholeheartedly, that animals improve our lives. But not to the detriment of the person or the animal. So both have to be mostly right for each other - there is no perfection. And it is unfair on your whole family if you aren't ready or able to have a dog at this point, but most importantly, it is crucial to not have your son in a position where he is under too much pressure and feels destined to fail that the expectation of being an animals provider. I am sure someone at your local shelter will be able to really help with finding your family a dog that will fit right in. Best of luck.
I think a rescue dog could be a very good solution, but you do have to look at the temperament of the dog. Our first Lab was a rescue, and she was wonderful. She was trained and had absolutely no behavior issues at all. Ginger fit into our family immediately. We were lucky though. If you go the rescue route, look hard at the temperament of the dogs you see. Some are there because of lifestyle changes, but some because of behavior issues. I don't agree with folks who say that puppies are not fun, but they are a huge amount of work, especially for the first months. Our current Labs were bought as pups and we enjoyed watching them grow mentally and physically, but we work from home and could give them a lot of our time. I enjoy raising a pup from scratch, but I don't think it is necessarily the right path for the OP.
Maybe you could even try fostering a rescue dog, so if it doesn't go well, you can go a different route? I have to admit, I was (still am) stunned at the amount of time/work (and yes, play) that Moose requires. He's 16 weeks old now, and there is absolutely no way I would feel confident leaving him home alone every day for long periods of time. As fun and cute as the pups are, they are every bit as much work as an infant child. Good luck!
Good luck with whatever course you choose. You’ve had lots of good advice already and it’s great that you’re thinking it through carefully. A dog will be a wonderful companion for your son, but only in the right circumstances, as you need to lessen the stress rather than add to it. Keep in touch and let us know how you get on.
The shelters won't let you adopt because your son is under 16?? I could understand that he couldn't adopt a dog, but I can't imagine a shelter rejecting a family just because they have children. Very young children perhaps, but certainly not a 15 yr old. When we adopted Ginger, our son was about 8.
