Hi, new to this forum and I joined because I'm a bit stuck. We had our beautiful barley euthanised at home 4 months ago and at the time it was extremely sad but we knew we were doing the right thing for him. Since then, life has been hectic but I seem to have this mental block everytime I think about him. I don't know if it's a way of coping (to block all the hurt out) has anyone else experienced this?
A warm welcome to the forum. Grief can have funny effects on our heads.. Do you mean that you're having a hard time visualising him or remembering things he did?
Hi, thankyou for the response. I'm having a difficult time with the sense that he's not here anymore, missing his presence and how he made me feel. its so difficult to recreate all he was to me in my head without him being here a hard time trying to sense
Hello there,very sorry to hear you've only recently lost Barley,sounds like he was very loved. Dexter is our first dog ,family dogs only came to be as I was starting to leave home really so they were more my parents dogs ......so I haven't got any experience to draw on to help I'm sorry. Many members come to the Rainbow Bridge board to help make sense of their pets loss so I've read many stories and it does seem that it affects us in a lot of different ways. What I take from the stories is how much you continue to love and miss them after you have processed their loss,I feel like I have known some of the passed dogs from some of the memories that have been shared.I don't know much about psychology but maybe somewhere deep you are being protected from the sadness Barley's death has left and Subconsciously when you are able to process it ,the memories will naturally resurface of your time together x Best wishes to you x
I understand... Based on my own experience, what you're describing is normal. It's hard to fully recreate the reality of a beloved lost dog, and how it felt to touch them. I would say that being very busy makes this harder though....it is easier to really allow ourselves to fully experience a memory or emotion if we give ourselves some quiet time to shut out everything else and let our minds turn to those memories. Do you have things belonging to your dog, like his collar? Sometimes I just hold my old dog's collar, which we have hanging in a cupboard, and think about him. Always makes me cry, but that is never a bad thing when it's for someone you love and miss.
I am sorry for your loss. The grieving process is different for all of us and sometimes we do get stuck on steps. Disbelief, anger, blame, denial all feature among other feelings before we can reach the "acceptance" stage. There is no right or wrong. Just be kind to yourself and do what is right for you. Jac x
Sorry to be so deep but that's how I feel and thankyou very much for your reassuring responses I am very appreciative (barley would have been too) he really was such a lovely, calm tempered Labrador and a best friend to me. He was also hilarious at times and I will cherish those memories of him dearly. Thankyou x
Barley was obviously a much loved dog and he would have known so. We lost our golden lab 18 months ago and I thought the pain would break me. I swore I would never have another but we welcomed Bailey just over 8 weeks ago. He is nothing like Cooper in looks or temperament but is a joy just like him. I am so glad we have him. As time goes on the pain subsides and the wonderful memories of an adored dog remain. We have a lovely painting of Cooper and I look at him every day, speak to him and thank him for the memories. I still cry most days, but that's ok. I know he's waiting at Rainbow Bridge and sometime in the future I will see him again.
Sorry for your loss, Barley was much loved and is much missed. I think your grief is still raw, but in time it will lessen and allow fond memories of Barley to come back to you. You are in my thoughts xx
I think having the mental block after the loss of your beloved dog Barley, is nature's way of being able to cope, it is too painful in the beginning to even think. It is true that time does heal xx
Hi Nemo, we understand what you are talking about, I think that the experience you are facing is completely normal, as many others, I lost my well beloved Shnauzer, 12 months ago, I said "never again", but some months later, I was looking for another four-legged friend. Nowadays, I am a proud daddy from a female labrador... who drive me crazy many times... I recall Garbi, and sometimes, when my daughters go to sleep, I tell them stories about Garbi, usually we laugh but sometimes we cry... it is amazing how your dog impact on deep inside you... after pain... calm returns... and when calm returns you will miss the unconditional generosity from your friend, and you will look forward to find another one. Right in this moment, I only can say to you, that we understand you, we support you, be patient, and that we accompany you. You will know... when you look to puppies... and you will be cured and happy to share another amount of happy years with another dog... and Barley will be forever in a part of your heart, as Garbi is... Big Hugs for you. Pedrolo.
Barley was obviously a much-loved member of your family. Perhaps you would like to tell us more about the happy times you had with him? Grief takes time and affects us in different ways, so there are no set rules.
