can't cope

Discussion in 'Labrador Puppies' started by pupmum, Aug 15, 2019.

  1. pupmum

    pupmum Registered Users

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2019
    Messages:
    7
    I am really struggling to cope with our 12 week old lab girl. My husband works away during the week so I am on my own with my 8 year old daughter and the puppy. My daughter has Sensory Processing difficulties and I had hoped building a relationship with the dog would help, however my daughter is struggling as all my time is taken up with the dog. We are struggling with the puppy biting and jumping on her so although she will occasionally stroke her when she is calm, the rest of the day she mostly avoids coming downstairs.

    Personally I am struggling with the amount of chewing, yes I expected to have to redirect her to toys and chews but I didn't expect the extent of it! I had a dog previously that chewed a bit when a puppy but nothing like this! I feel like I actively need to try and do something with her the whole time she is awake, so I brush her, feed her, do some training - sit, stay, down, leave-it, look-at-me, paw, lead-walking - have her chase me, play with toys in the house or in the garden. Started taking short am and pm walks with her. but it never seems to be enough and there still is loads of time where she just wants to chew the furniture or dig up the garden. Most of the time I really don't know what to do with her.
    She has not taken to the crate at all so she sleeps in the kitchen at night. I am doing reward training in the crate with her.
    She has also had some health problems. We took her to the vet within a few days of having her as she had green mucus discharge after peeing. They tested for urine infection and first round did not clear infection she is now on last two days of a 10 day course of antibiotics, still has the mucus. And she's had very soft messy poos for the past 3 weeks.
    We have had her for nearly 5 weeks now and I'm exhausted, been crying most days.

    I am seriously considering giving her up as I am struggling with my mental health. My husband doesn't want me to give up and says it will be great in a year but I just can't cope on a day to day basis right now and feel guilty for failing the puppy and my family.
     
  2. 5labs

    5labs Registered Users

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2019
    Messages:
    235
    Location:
    North Yorkshire
    Firstly- welcome to the forum.
    There are many many similar threads to this, so please don't feel alone.
    To me it sounds as though she is way overstimulated. I'd be working on training her to relax, rather than trying to entertain her all day. At 12 weeks, she should be doing a lot more sleeping/relaxing than being on the go.
    If you really can't cope, then do what is best for you, your child and puppy. Cantact the breeder and ask if they can take her back. If you are going to do this, do it as soon as possible while she is young enough for the breeder to find a home for.
    Good luck with what ever you decide.
     
  3. pupmum

    pupmum Registered Users

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2019
    Messages:
    7
    Thanks for your reply. I do feel pretty alone, I feel like everyone else can handle it except me. I agree she seems like she just can't relax. I'm not sure how to help with this. When she finally takes a nap, as soon as I move to do something she is up again sometimes she'll lay back down somewhere else but often she'll stay awake for a while again.

    Sadly taking her back to the breeder isn't an option as this litter was a one of for them from their family dogs.
     
  4. 5labs

    5labs Registered Users

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2019
    Messages:
    235
    Location:
    North Yorkshire
    Have you tried talking to the breeder?
     
  5. pippa@labforumHQ

    pippa@labforumHQ Administrator

    Joined:
    May 10, 2011
    Messages:
    5,277
    Hi there, I'm so sorry you are having a tough time with your pup. It sounds as though you could benefit from some zones where you can take a break from your puppy. Do you have baby gates set up anywhere in the house so that there are parts where the puppy can't go? Does your puppy have a routine with predictable nap times so family members know they are going to get some respite?
     
    pupmum likes this.
  6. Ski-Patroller

    Ski-Patroller Cooper, Terminally Cute Forum Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2016
    Messages:
    1,467
    Location:
    Portland, Oregon & Mt Hood Oregon
    Many folks set up a puppy pen, typically in the kitchen, so there is a place for the pup so you don't have to watch them all the time. Having a crate or box (den) in the pen may help too. We also have a pet gate on the door to the kitchen so we can keep the pup/dogs either in or out of the kitchen, if we need to. Even though Cooper is 4 years we still have the gate, because some times (not often) we need to have the dog(s) contained or excluded from a space.

    Most pups get a lot better as they grow up, but 12 weeks they are a hand full. Some like to be held and petted, but some don't. Labs tend to be bitey pups, though some are worse than others. It gets better when they get their permanent teeth because they are not so sharp.
     
    pupmum likes this.
  7. pupmum

    pupmum Registered Users

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2019
    Messages:
    7
    we talked to them about the mucus and urine infection and the incomplete vaccinations
    We talked to them about the health problems but they were just saying she was fine when with them. They made it clear when we bough her that returning her would not be an option.
     
  8. pupmum

    pupmum Registered Users

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2019
    Messages:
    7
    Thanks for your reply. We don't have any gates but I can leave her in the kitchen which has a door with glass panels which is helpful. We don't have a routine but I really think that is exactly what we need. How many naps and how long should she be having? Luckily the crate training is paying of and she has started going in her crate to nap or chew a nylabone voluntarily this weekend! Hoping I can make this work by giving myself some respite times.
     
  9. pupmum

    pupmum Registered Users

    Joined:
    Aug 14, 2019
    Messages:
    7
    Thanks for your reply. She just has a bed in the kitchen and a crate in the living room/dining room. We do have a pen in the garden although she jumps and cries. We made progress with the crate training and hopefully I can use it for specific nap times which will help. Will try to keep going.
     
  10. JaygoDolding

    JaygoDolding Registered Users

    Joined:
    Sunday
    Messages:
    3
    Hi
    Please don't be hard on yourself. Sometimes having a puppy can be more difficult that having a baby!
    Some tips for you and your active puppy:

    Set up your home to be as puppy proof as possible. Put everything that you can't stand to lose away for a while. Chewers will chew and it's a natural behaviour rat her than naughtiness that will lessen over time with gentle training.

    Stair gate each doorway so you can contain her to where ever you are.

    If your happy with her in the kitchen then put her there whenever you need to do something puppy free or just want to spend time with your daughter, she may cry at 1st.

    Roll back on the amount your doing with her (I'll share my routine below).

    Stop chasing her and having her chasing you completely, it's fun and may tire her out but it's really bad for her training, chase drive is really something you don't want (or she will try and chase every runner she sees).

    If she chews don't chase her to retrieve the object (makes it a wonderful game). Just wander over and calmly offer her something else, if she doesn't take it walk away and try again.

    Routine:

    6am wake and straight out in the garden for a wee. Praise.

    6am to 7am ignore puppy while you get on with a cup of tea, jobs etc.

    7am short walk of no more than 15 minutes.

    7.30am breakfast given in a puzzle feeder while you get dressed/showered.

    Until 8.30am ignore your puppy, she will learn to either relax or amuse herself with her toys.

    8.30am short 15 minute play or training session.

    After this I will generally pop my puppy in his cage or playpen while I clean, spend time with my girls or genrally relax. You could use the kitchen.

    12pmish (later if he's asleep). Cuddle on the sofa. Let him play on the floor.

    2pm lunch in a puzzle feeder.

    Ignore until 3pm.

    3pm short training or play session for 15 minutes.

    In his cage whole I cook, play with my girls, relax.

    6pm. Out to play on the floor, I'll ignore him, he plays on his own.

    8pm dinner in a puzzle feeder.

    Ignore until 9pm.

    9pm short 15 minute play session/training.

    Ignore until bed time.

    It may sound like a lot of ignore, but puppies at this age need around 18 hours a day of sleep! Overtired puppies misbehave and are more distructive, plus he's my dog, not my child and he needs to learn that he can safely amuse himself with his toys or relax in his bed.

    Exercise wise any more than 5 minutes per month of life can be damaging to their hips and you risk a very fit puppy who needs more and more to tire them out.

    Hope it helps and if I can help more send me a messay.
     
    pupmum likes this.
  11. TEE

    TEE Registered Users

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2019
    Messages:
    38
    Sorry to hear your issues. But need to make choices. IF you want to keep the puppy than some changes are in need as the puppy will remain a puppy for some time.

    First you need to make the crate. Work for you. It is a powerful aid to help you manage the puppy and get time to spend with your daughter.
    Secondly get a children’s pen set up. Issue is that the puppy in a few weeks will start to jump out so. But it is the most helpful addition to the crate.

    Next is basic training.

    And finally spend less time with your pup and don't over-simulate. Dogs need to learn learn to settle

    Use kongs.

    Ignore the crying. It stops

    Good luck!
     
    pupmum likes this.

Share This Page