I know that there are mostly people here from the UK and do not have off lead, enclosed space dog parks there. I did not see the regulars today and saw only maybe one that I had recognized. A lady's dog was very pushy with tiger and kept pushing him which he did not like, although he loves to play! Well, tiger is a jumper and the lady that I had recognized and asked for advice in the past (also the one that told me my dog could be rehomed for bad behavior) began telling the other lady with the pushy dog how my dog is and that I am working with him...but every time tiger tried to hide between /behind the ladies or got pushed onto them BY her dog, kept saying "Tiger" like it was HIS fault. The lady kept speaking for tiger as if I was not there and that the other dog was fine, etc. No, he was not okay and he was trying to stand up for himself. I just leashed him and separated him from them and took him to the small dog area where there was no one at all. We played fetch and he was happy. The lady that had spoken to me before told me that its OK and " remember how we talked about being fun owner". I knew they proceeded to talk about me from the other gate but it has been my experience since being a regular at the dog park (those women were not regulars by any means) that owners that perceive you as scared/worried about your dog or if they get a sense of you , they see you as weak and they do not watch their dogs as carefully. I have also noticed if the group knows each other, they tend to adopt a pack mentality much like dogs. Have you ever felt some fear of confrontation with other dog owners? I hope I get to a point where I do less avoiding and more confronting but ...I just take tiger to have fun...not for drama.
Re: Do you find it difficult to be assertive with other dog owners? It can be quite daunting when you are in an enclosed area with people who think they know best. I used to shy away, but now stand up for myself and my dog. I'm not confrontational and will avoid getting into a dispute, but won't be pushed around. Practise being assertive
Re: Do you find it difficult to be assertive with other dog owners? I don't find it difficult to be assertive with people who don't have control over their dogs, no. At the very least I really expect people to make an effort to recall and steady their dogs - if things get out of hand but they are really trying then I am fine with it. It's people who are in denial who drive me nuts.
Re: Do you find it difficult to be assertive with other dog owners? Regular gatherings of random humans are funny things. We don't have dog parks, but the same group of owners gather on the beach and at the Common. I've been told the strangest things about my dog and my training from total strangers! I honestly think the best thing is to try to see the funny side of it. Come across as confident, stay polite and observe them when they say funny things. Usually the things people say to you - in the situation you describe - are for their benefit. That lady sounds as though she got a kick out of seeing herself as the experienced dog owner giving the new puppy owner some tuition. Just smile and let it wash over you.
Re: Do you find it difficult to be assertive with other dog owners? [quote author=JulieT link=topic=8886.msg126339#msg126339 date=1416851473] I honestly think the best thing is to try to see the funny side of it. Come across as confident, stay polite and observe them when they say funny things. Usually the things people say to you - in the situation you describe - are for their benefit. That lady sounds as though she got a kick out of seeing herself as the experienced dog owner giving the new puppy owner some tuition. Just smile and let it wash over you. [/quote] Really excellent advice.
Re: Do you find it difficult to be assertive with other dog owners? Tigersmom, I think you were assertive in that situation. You left. Being assertive is not always about standing up to others, it's about making decisions that are right for you. Dog people do love to dish out advice though (or how would our forum survive ;D) but dog park advice can be pretty whacky and ill informed. I've heard it all at the dog park too. Julie's advice is the way to go I'd say
Re: Do you find it difficult to be assertive with other dog owners? I am always open to advice - I don't always take it. Smile and move on.
Re: Do you find it difficult to be assertive with other dog owners? Definitely agree with the advice other people have given. I always think in situations like that there are probably a million things that you could say but then if they are the sort of people to get in a confrontation with you is it really worth it? Dog walking is about having fun after all! You shouldn't feel like you have to defend or explain your dog to anyone unless you have to or want to.
