Exhausted and full of regret

Discussion in 'Labrador Puppies' started by Jazzyb, Oct 28, 2019.

  1. Jazzyb

    Jazzyb Registered Users

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    Eta*sorry for the long ramble and thank you for reading*

    i feel terrible saying this but I feel like I’ve made the biggest mistake getting our puppy. I’m utterly exhausted. I have 3 kids and 2 jobs and a husband who works shifts and I honestly didn’t realise how tiring this would be. Daisy is almost 10 weeks (we have had her since 8 weeks) and has been sleeping well the last few nights in a pen in our living room. I’ve been getting up around 4.30/5am most days with her as that is when she wakes and needs to go out. Last night I put her in the laundry (still in her crate with the door open) but enclosed by a baby gate. She cried for a bit then went to sleep... turn woke around 130, took her out for a pee, she cried for about 40 minutes then went back to sleep then woke for the day at 430am. I took her out for a pee, then put her back to bed. She cried until 530am when I gave in and let her out. I’m not even sure if I’m doing the right thing. I’m so exhausted I can’t think straight. I ultimately want her to sleep in the laundry as it’s a safe place and has a dog door so she can go in and out. The pen in the living room is not gonna be secure for much longer as she gets bigger. She’s now been happily napping since 7am, meanwhile myself and the kids are utterly shattered. Now I have to go to work once my hubby gets home. I just can’t go on like this, how long does it last? When will she sleep past 430am? Can I leave her to go in and out of the dog door in the night? Is it ok to let her cry in the night? Please help I’m at my wits end
     
  2. lucy@labforumHQ

    lucy@labforumHQ Administrator Forum Supporter

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    Oh dear, it's a tough time in the early puppy days! This period of adjustment is often equated with the better known baby blues - we call it puppy blues! We've got an article here which might provide you with some reassurance: https://www.thelabradorsite.com/how-to-beat-the-labrador-puppy-blues/

    And you can find information on crate training here that might be helpful too, it looks at how to deal with crying in the crate at night: https://www.thelabradorsite.com/crate-training-your-labrador-puppy/

    It does get easier, especially when they are sleeping for longer periods. And it's totally normal to feel upset at this point, your sleep has been interrupted and life turned upside down after all. How are you finding her during the day?

    Do let us know how you get along!
     
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  3. Jazzyb

    Jazzyb Registered Users

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    Thanks for your reply! During the day she is great, mostly pooping and peeing outside, she has learned sit, lay down, and paw.. and we are working on food manners. She has a couple of mad half hours where she is uncontrollable but pretty good otherwise. Hmm apart from biting the kids but that’s another story.. I’m struggling with an element of crate traning though... I’ve had her in there for up to 15 mins with the door closed but as soon as her food/Kong runs out or whatever she starts barking/whining to come out.. so at what point will I be able to actually close her on there for a nap/night time? I’m not sure how to get past this bit..
     
  4. 5labs

    5labs Registered Users

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    Regarding letting her use the dog door at night, it would depend on how secure your garden is. Do you have any foxes? Even a cat can cause nasty injuries to a small puppy. Are there any plants/stones she could eat? Do you get slugs and or toads?
    A young pup can get very poorly very quickly.
     
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  5. Jazzyb

    Jazzyb Registered Users

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    Thank you. It’s secure but yes despite the fact we have cleaned and swept there could be slugs snails and stones. I think we will keep her in at least for now. I appreciate your response.
     
  6. Pancakes

    Pancakes Registered Users

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    Have you considered maybe bringing the crate into your room for a week or two, so she becomes more comfortable in it and then moving it back to the laundry area when she is a bit older? That was something which helped us out

    Hang in there!
     
  7. Saffy/isla

    Saffy/isla Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    Hi there, I don't know how anyone would manage all that! It hard work and a huge commitment.

    It will get better, but not just yet. If you really think you've made a mistake contact your breeder to see if they'll take your pup back and find her another home. Better that now while she's young than your pup turning into a large uncontrollable lab that you hadn't had time to commit to. Hope you can come to a decision that is good for you all. Good luck
     
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  8. Jazzyb

    Jazzyb Registered Users

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    Thank you. We brought her back into the living room and she has been absolutely fine at night again. I guess I moved her to the laundry too soon.. She is such a beauty and responding really well to basic training, even in the last couple of days we have been able to shut her away in the laundry for short spells when she is getting too out of control and bitey... and now I’ve had some sleep I feel like I can manage again. Thank you all
     
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  9. Gautam

    Gautam Registered Users

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    I can fully relate to your situation. We got our puppy on 20th Oct and hv had little sleep since (he is 8.5 weeks). Last night we had an honest discussion (my wife and son) and we decided to give him back to the breeder. Nothing wrong with him, just that we are unable to cope
     
  10. 5labs

    5labs Registered Users

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    Well done to you for being honest with yourselves. It's much easier for a pup to adapt while they are young and easier for the breeder to find a new home.
     
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  11. J.D

    J.D Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    I am not a breeder but I believe your breeder was at fault for letting you have the puppy at 7 weeks. It isn’t any wonder you had problems getting him to settle especially if you are inexperienced. Hopefully he will get a positive fresh start so don’t feel bad about it.
     
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  12. Gautam

    Gautam Registered Users

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    Thanks JD. The family from we bought our puppy is lovely - they sold 5 other puppies to other families. Everything is fine with our puppy - it is our mistake to not hv understood the work involved. Right now the only emotion my wife and I are going through is that of deep guilt and shame
     
  13. Edp

    Edp Registered Users

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  14. Gautam

    Gautam Registered Users

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    Thank you so much EDP for the kind words. I have contacted the breeder. Hopefully will get a positive response as my puppy's mother and a sibling is with the breeder. I just dont want my puppy to go through emotional stress. As far as our feelings are concerned we will learn to come to terms with those.
     
  15. Gautam

    Gautam Registered Users

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    i am in no position to advise anyone but one thing i have learnd from this experience is to do our home work properly before taking big decisions. We should have done lot more research on the work involved. Perhaps we could hv avoided this stress for the puppy. For no fault of his has to through issues early in life.
     
  16. Saffy/isla

    Saffy/isla Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    Hi, that must have been a difficult decision to make but very honest.

    He will find another home quickly as he's so young. Thinking of you all.
     
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  17. Gautam

    Gautam Registered Users

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    Thanks Saffy. it is one of the most difficult decision i had to make. my wife is unconsolable - my 17 year old cried like a baby last night and tears are rolling down my face as i type htis message - we hv acted irresponsibly
     
  18. Gautam

    Gautam Registered Users

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    We have been able to find a loving family which is ready to take my boy (his brother is also with the family so he will hv company) - can't thank this Forum enough for the support and advice. So many of you came forward and offered support when I was feeling lost, most vulnerable and weak
     
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