We have had Esme for four months now. My partner is only home at weekends. Now he going to be away for six months in August. The biting, the jumping up, the begging when I’m trying to cook, the dog hairs, the licking. I wanted a labradoodle but other half wanted a Labrador. So I went with it. I’m more a cat person, this is my first dog. Told other half at the weekend I’m struggling to bond and I don’t really like her. I care about her but I just feel she is a nuisance. Doesn’t help that I’ve had a relapse with my mental health. I have a boarderline personality disorder. I harmed myself two weeks ago. Got hospital appointment at mental health hospital on Tuesday. I thought dogs help with mental health but it’s just stressing me out. Does it get better when they are adults? My little girl loves her but I find it all a chore.
Hi @Aella. I work as a clinical psychologist so I am very familiar with the mental health issues you may be experiencing, although every person is an indivudal and different symptoms will be more prominent for different people. Having a labrador puppy is overwhelming for almost everyone so struggling with the biting and activity level is expected. But only you will know what your capacity is to deal with the stress and needs of a puppy. Although this forum is not the appropriate enviroment I would like to strongly recommend that you discuss the frustration and difficulties you are facing with your mental health practitioner and discuss how Aella forms part of what your goals are in your ongoing treatment plan. Good luck!
Hi Aella, sorry that you are finding it hard to cope. In my experience a lab puppy is extremely hard work but is totally worth it. I don't think it would make any difference if it were a labradoodle or not. You say that your partner is going away in August - that is 5 months away yet and a lot can change. If the lovely Esme is 6 months now (?) she will be nearly a year in August and when your partner returns will be 17 months. My puppy changed dramatically during that time (she is 1 year old now), the biting and lunging and nipping stops - usually after teething which Esme will probably be coping with soon if not already. She became more responsive to recall training and less distracted by other things. It definitely gets better as they get older but please follow Harley Quinn's advice and discuss your problems with a professional.
I plan to seek help for my health,hence my appointment tomorrow. Just feel bad regards my bond via our dog. She is currently asleep in her bed out from under my feet.
Hi @Aella I'm really sorry to hear about the issues you are having. I've just scrolled back through your posts, and I don't think you are that far away from me, if you'd like to meet up for a coffee, chat, and a short dog walk just let me know. Natalie x
Hey! I had the puppy blues. I was SO stressed when Finn was a puppy. I thought I had made the wrong decision, I resented him a bit, he was a crybaby and never let me have any peace. I got him when I was single and I almost had a mental breakdown haha! I guess my personality (I have more than my fair share of anxiety) is just not good with things like that. I even thought about giving him back to the breeder because he was so crazy and hyper. On top if it he had a litany of health problems and I was constantly taking him to the vet. Anyway, Finn is now 1.5 years old and he is a totally different dog: all the puppy nonsense has mostly gone away and he is so laid back and mellow. It's night and day. Instead of giving me anxiety he has been a godsend during a breakup that I've been going through recently. I've bonded with him to the point where it scares me how much I love him! It did take me a few months to actually start bonding with him and it wasn't until he was a year that I was REALLY bonded. I hate to admit that now, but it's the truth and I know it helped me at the time to know that other people took longer to bond with their dogs too. Give it some time. If you can, drop her off at dog daycare and give yourself the day off. That's what I did quite often.
