Feeling fed up ....

Discussion in 'Labrador Puppies' started by LooneyLuna, Jun 13, 2017.

  1. LooneyLuna

    LooneyLuna Registered Users

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    I've only had my puppy just over 2 weeks and I feel like I'm getting no enjoyment out of her at all.

    We got her after going through a tough time over the last 12 months and myself having a miscarriage after months of trying for a baby.

    We've wanted a pup for ages and thought she would bring us some happiness.

    I just feel like I've made a huge mistake. I feel like I'm getting no love or affection from her at all and she's just making me unhappy. She's started launching at my hands to bite me all the time. She doesn't do it to my husband and I'm starting to get scared of her because the bites are getting worse no matter how much I say no, step over baby gate etc.

    Everyone else that got a pup from this litter seems absolutely smitten.

    Is it me or the dog?!
     
  2. Karen

    Karen Registered Users

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    Hey... C'mon, sit down, have a good cry, then dry your eyes, and have a cup of tea/glass of wine. Once your puppy has gone to sleep, have a good look at her. Is she not the most adorable thing in the world? It's probably while she's awake, being a wild puppy, that things are difficult, and in particular on top of the tough year you have had. The good news is - if you can hang on for a few weeks, I guarantee you the biting will stop and she will become a delight. In the meantime, when she goes to bite you, give her a chewy toy to bite instead. Is it particularly worse when she is overtired? My puppy, at 13 weeks, doesn't actually bite all that much - except when he is overtired, when it seems that he just cannot help himself. At that stage, especially at around 9pm, he bites EVERYTHING that gets near his mouth. Sometimes we just have to put him in his pen and let him fuss until he falls asleep.

    Your puppy WILL bring you happiness, but I can tell you from experience that the first few weeks are tough. My husband was the one who thought we had made a mistake, because he just wasn't getting enough sleep (I can sleep through anything, or even if I wake up I can mostly go straight back to sleep). But now, a few weeks in, we are all loved-up and Merlin is the apple of our eye (together with Poppy, of course..).

    Hang in there. It WILL get better. Come on here to vent - there are several of us with new puppies, and we can all support each other. Big hugs to you!
     
  3. kateincornwall

    kateincornwall Registered Users

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    I`m sorry to say that its probably you, but this isn't being critical of you, just that many of us feel exactly the same ! Those who say that they sail through with a perfect puppy behaving in a perfect way are either telling porkies or are one in a million ! It gets better , you`ve had a rough time and so things will seem worse but honestly , they improve and as they do, you will begin to bond . Chin up , hugs xxx
     
  4. snowbunny

    snowbunny Registered Users

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    My most recent puppy (now seven months) was a biting monster. It was most tiresome. And, yes, painful and sometimes a bit soul-destroying. Add a bit of sleep-deprivation into the mix and you have to be made of pretty stern stuff for it not to affect you sometimes, especially if this is your first puppy. You have idyllic visions of a cute cuddle-bug, snuggling up on your lap, but the reality is very different. Endless toilet trips, moving things out of pup's reach, being on high alert every minute, disrupted sleep and ohmigod the biting - it's a good job they're cute when they're asleep!

    This period, with many puppies, is to be endured rather than enjoyed. It's perfectly normal.

    That said, if you know and understand that it's normal, get yourself some sleep when you can and step away when the monster rears its ugly head, you can enjoy your puppy. Find some little tricks to train, things that aren't important and you can both enjoy learning together in very short sessions. That will help bond you together, and, most importantly, wear out your puppy's brain so that she sleeps! Coming on here to vent certainly helps, too. You're not alone :)
     
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  5. 20180815

    20180815 Guest

    I had a bit of a nervous breakdown at one point when my lab was around that age...the puppy days can be hard.
     
  6. charlie

    charlie Registered Users

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    @LooneyLuna I am so sorry you have had a miscarriage, I do understand how you feel. You have had a rough year, losing a baby is a very tough and emotional thing to go through so give yourself a break. Puppies are hard work but as everyone else has said it soon passes and you will look at your pup and won't be able to imagine life without her :) Try to connect with her by doing little bits of training to help strengthen your bond. Play with her, take her out into the world to experience new things. I promise you will grow to love her the more you see her grow and progress. Keep going it really, really does get better. I hope you are OK. xx
     
  7. Jes72

    Jes72 Registered Users

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    I suffered miscarriages and failed IVF treatment before we got our puppy. I didn't want a puppy, I needed a puppy. It was much harder work than I expected with getting up all through the night and him constantly needing (demanding) my attention. I'd spend hours watching him sleep with tears of relief, waiting for the mayhem to start all again as soon as he woke. We used to wear gardening gloves whenever we played with him. Give him lots of chew toys and Kongs, they do various shapes to keep his mind busy. Use some rope toys to play games with him. Then give him down time to settle and sleep, stroke him gently, sing silly little songs to him, feel his heart beating. He'll never replace a human baby, I hope one day you have a child of your own, let yourself fall in love with your little bundle of fur. They do grow up all too fast.
     
  8. Boogie

    Boogie Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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  9. selina27

    selina27 Registered Users

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    Hi @LooneyLuna , so sorry to read of your difficulties with your puppy, you've already had brilliant advice that I would endorse. A year ago I was dealing with a major crocopup and at my wits end until I found this forum which has pulled me through on various occasions.

    I well remember one evening feeling that I couldn't cope and I would have to give her up. And then cried all night at the thought of packing up her things and handing her over to a stranger.

    You've had a really, really hard time. It will get better with the puppy and when it does it's the best feeling in the world.
     
  10. Granca

    Granca Registered Users

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    It's going to take a while to get over such a tough time. Your puppy will be a distraction, but hard work and very tiring. Do read the thread that @Boogie suggests - it shows there's light at the end of the tunnel!

    Wearing gardening gloves is a good idea, as well as seeing her occupied with toys and Kongs, but don't forget to give her plenty of 'time out' too, because much of the bitey, rough play can be through over-excitement and signs of a tired puppy, not just needing more stimulation.

    Can you post some photos of her? Keep in touch and let us know how you're getting on.
     
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  11. Plum's mum

    Plum's mum Registered Users

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    I could have written your post myself @LooneyLuna. On day 2 I was crying wondering what I had done and I seriously thought I'd made the wrong decision.
    I was exhausted and miserable but, like you, other friends with dogs talked about how much they enjoyed the early puppy days.

    (I wonder if it feels doubly distressing because, after you lost your baby, you maybe hoped a puppy would fill a tiny bit of the hole that was left, and your pup hasn't yet lived up to those expectations?)

    @snowbunny is absolutely right when she talks about endurance versus enjoyment!

    I seriously thought about rehoming my pup and spoke to Labrador rescue. The woman gave me some good advice and said it would start to improve around 4 months and it really did for me. And carried on improving.

    My girl is 8 months now and it's infinitely better. I do still feel overwhelmed by the responsibility sometimes, I have to admit, but I use doggy daycare and dog walkers, on occasion, so that I have a bit of respite if needed.

    Sorry you're so disconsolate, hang on in there if you can.
     
  12. Atemas

    Atemas Registered Users

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    @LooneyLuna - I hope you have read my Puppy Blues thread (at least some of it - it's so long :eek:) - it might help you get things more into perspective. My puppy Red is now 6 months and is absolutely nothing like the biting croco pup she was a few months ago. She is the most affectionate puppy imaginable who body wags with happiness, lays down at the sight of me and wants endless belly rubs, comes up to me and gently nuzzles me, wants to lick me :confused:. I know as adolescence creeps in she may not be the same but for now I am loving having her (despite having to manage her time with our older dog). I can't imagine life without her now. You will get there .
     
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  13. Atemas

    Atemas Registered Users

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    @LooneyLuna - I hope you have read my Puppy Blues thread (at least some of it - it's so long :eek:) - it might help you get things more into perspective. My puppy Red is now 6 months and is absolutely nothing like the biting croco pup she was a few months ago. She is the most affectionate puppy imaginable who body wags with happiness, lays down at the sight of me and wants endless belly rubs, comes up to me and gently nuzzles me, wants to lick me :confused:. I know as adolescence creeps in she may not be the same but for now I am loving having her (despite having to manage her time with our older dog). I can't imagine life without her now. You will get there .
     
  14. bbrown

    bbrown Moderator Forum Supporter

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    I have to say I love both my dogs far more as grown up dogs than I did as needy, bitey puppies. Hang in there, it's worth it :)
     
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  15. SwampDonkey

    SwampDonkey Registered Users

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    People don't tell you what puppies are really like. They self obsessed bittey forces of nature. It does get better we all have labs for different reasons and they can be immensely helpful and comforting. Just not when they are puppies. Puppies are a thing you have to go through to get a life long companion who will make you smile. Everyone here will support you. You are not on your own. Its like a type of culture shock it's not what you expect. Its not you it's not your pup
     
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  16. Plum's mum

    Plum's mum Registered Users

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    I feel the same about my son, (minus the biting)!
     
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  17. SwampDonkey

    SwampDonkey Registered Users

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    Kids and puppies hard work but worth it in the end
     
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  18. SwampDonkey

    SwampDonkey Registered Users

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    Ive no kids if my own but I get to lend friends some if them make puppies seem tame. Love them all dearly but I love my dogs more than everything its all consuming. I often wonder if it's just the hormonal response or I'm maladjusted
     
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  19. Ski-Patroller

    Ski-Patroller Cooper, Terminally Cute

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    I remember Cooper with sharp puppy teeth, but it didn't seem all that bad. We tried to always have a toy to distract her from our hands. We really enjoyed watching her grow, and learn new things. Pups grow and change really fast. You can see almost daily changes, in both size, motor ability, and figuring things out.
     
  20. drjs@5

    drjs@5 Registered Users

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    Hang on in there.
    Puppies are tough.
    Think you need to be a bit Looney as a lab owner too.
    You will be riding an emotional roller coaster (cliche I know) right now, for a number of reasons.
    Stick with it. The forum is a fantastic support when you need both practical and emotional support.
    Jac x
     
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