Hi all, We brought home our 14 week old rescued lab last week and have been working hard at training her. She was a Christmas gift for our 10 year old son who has worked very hard the last year taking care of our other dog. The problem is that she's on my ankles non stop and whines when I leave the room. We're working on the separation anxiety but in the mean time id love her to be more attached to my son than myself. We've tried letting him feed her and take her outside, but she won't listen to him at all. We'd like her to start sleeping in his room but she whines when I'm not there. Any suggestions? Should I train her first and then worry about their bond later? Should I stop training all together and let my son do it?
I think pups do tend to bond most strongly to the one who feeds and trains them. Mine certainly have, anyway. Firstly, I'd try to get rid of the idea of your puppy "obeying". That's not really how we think of it in modern dog training. We give "cues" rather than "commands". It may seem like just semantics, but it's very important, because the fact is that if your dog doesn't do what is asked of it, it's because of your failures as a trainer, rather than your dog being wilfully disobedient. Dogs don't really think that way, so it's important to not think in terms of being obedient or not. So, if your puppy isn't following your son's cues, it's because she either doesn't understand, or she hasn't been sufficiently motivated to do so, through a history of reinforcement. This doesn't mean bribery (although the early stages of behaviours can be started through using a lure), but payment for doing what you ask is very important. Dogs find it very hard to generalise behaviours. This means, for example, if she learns to "sit" in your kitchen, on a tiled floor, that doesn't necessarily translate to a "sit" in your living room, on a carpet. They take in so much information when they are learning something, it takes them a while to pinpoint the specific part of that information which defines the cue. So, when teaching sit in your kitchen, she may have a tiled floor, a cupboard to her right, you standing in front of her in your pyjama bottoms and your left hand on your hip. Something as simple as moving that hand off your hip can completely change the picture for her, and so she suddenly doesn't sit when you ask her to. This is why we have to do what is called "proofing" and that means changing all other parts of what you're doing (where you stand, how you stand, what floor you're on, whether there are any other distractions, the length of time you are asking for...) until she is able to distinguish that the actual cue is simply the word sit, rather than a combination of that and all the rest of the gumpf. Every time you change something, you have to expect to go back to the beginning again with your training. She'll get better and better at distinguishing cues the more you do this, but with a young puppy, it can take a while for them to get the idea. So, you asking her to sit is very different to your son asking her to sit. Again, you also have to make sure she's sufficiently motivated. As much as people don't like to accept it, dogs are selfish beasts; they are always looking for the best outcome for them. That outcome has to be immediate. So, you can't think "my dog should do what I ask him because I offer him shelter and food". They can't process such things. They have to get used to there being an immediate reward, otherwise there is no point in them doing what you ask. Think of it as payment. You wouldn't work for no payment, so why should your dog? The difference is, humans are able to wait and receive delayed gratification (salary at the end of the month), but dogs need it to be immediate (payment for each task). In time (and we're talking a long time), you can make the criteria you're asking for tighter before payment happens, and ask for more and more complicated chains of behaviour before payment happens - as well as changing to more environmental rewards (your reward for walking nicely to heel is you're released to have a sniff of a lamppost). If you clicker train, it makes it easier to help your dog pinpoint the behaviour you're after. Here is a great article, which is a good place to start: http://www.thelabradorsite.com/ten-great-reasons-to-start-clicker-training/ Now, ten year olds come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, and you know best whether your son is capable of the precision needed to train the puppy. A clicker is a powerful tool, but it's easy to confuse your dog if you click at the wrong time. The idea is that you click at the precise time that your dog makes the movement you're after, so that, if the click were the noise of a camera shutter, the camera would be taking a picture of the thing you're after. At ten, your son may have these motor skills, or may not. He may have the patience, he may not. He may be able to be consistent enough, he may not. Have a read through the articles on the main site and decide this for yourself. If he is capable, then it will surely help him develop a strong bond with your puppy. If he is not, it may be detrimental, as they both get frustrated. Rather than feeding her meals from a bowl, your son can try hand feeding her, and using her dinner as training rewards. This bit made me smile. There is no "first". Training will continue her entire life. Proofing takes a long time, as you start to ask for behaviours out and about, in the face of greater and greater distractions (other people, dogs, amazing smells... then teenagedom strikes and you have to start from the beginning again...). I think if you can find a good, positive, local training class, that would really help your son to learn how to train the puppy. Make sure that you ensure it only uses positive methods, though, because using any form of punishment (that means things like lead jerks, talking in a harsh tone, tapping the dog on the nose etc) can damage the relationship you're trying to nurture. Good luck, and do let us know how you get on.
The puppy class we went to had a little boy with his bull dog (and his Mum was there). Maybe you could all go to a training class and your son take the lead with the puppy? The bond between our dog and kids has grown strong without them doing a massive amount of training her. She was too insane in the early days to listen to them, so I took the lead with training her (and still do). Now she's a little more steady they can get her to sit, lie down, turn circles etc. They also play with her a lot. Tug games,fetch and General rolling around on the sofa together. She adores them. She sits in the bathroom whilst my daughter has her bath every night and goes up to wake my son up every morning. It will come!
First, you have only had the pup a week, give her time to realize she belongs to all of you. Rescues might take a bit longer to settle in but she's so young it might be quick. Training tends to Help form a bond. Are there classes that will alllow your son to do most of the handling in class? A lady brought her rescue one year old GSD and her 7 year old to one of our first obedience classes and the child was far too young to handle the dog. But we had visitors once with a three year old that our recent rescue obeyed unhesitatingly. That little girl did not have a dog of her own either but our dog listened to her. It can work. Good luck.
We don't have kids but Snowie ADORES kids. If he has a choice, he'd rather be with a kid than with adults -- he just loves their playful energy. I took Snowie to the local park every day when he was a puppy and he loved nothing better than to be one of the gang (there were about 6 kids aged 3 years to about 8 years old that "lived" in that park!) and he'd traipse around with them. I did feel sorry for him that he had to come home to our quiet house! I'm assuming that your puppy is feeling rather unsure of his new surroundings -- he's still very young and needs protection, and he probably sees you as the "parent" to give him that much needed feeling of safety. I'm sure your son views you in the same way. So it's no surprise to me that your pup is very attached to you. But I'm guessing that while you'll be the "parent" figure to both your son and your dog, your son and dog will likely bond into very close mates. He just needs some time to settle in. I can imagine your son is feeling rather upset that "his" dog wants to be with you. Best of luck. I am sure it will work out given time.
I have twin boys they were 6 when we got Meg....I kept them fairly separate in the croco pup phase...it's a hard time for all but can really set up problems if a child gets accidentally nipped at this time. As she settled they got to know each other and now age 2 the 3 of them are inseparable. I think you need to be patient...let the puppy phase settle and maybe get your son along to some training classes with you. They will be best buddies in the end
