Guidance needed - Please

Discussion in 'Labrador Behavior' started by DM, Feb 3, 2016.

  1. DM

    DM Registered Users

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    Evening,

    My family of two children (ages 11 and 6) and my husband got ourselves a Chocolate Labrador puppy last June (2015). After we had to say goodbye to our 200lb Newfoundland Dog after 8 years . We wanted a dog that was more mobile with more energy. It seems we have gotten more than we bargained for. She is now 9 months old and is becoming more than a handful. To be honest although I do love animals I have never been very good at training and do become impatient (not a very good trait I realize when trying to train a high energy dog). I have heard how great having a lab can be and would love to experience that. My husband and children also love dogs and would be heart broken if we had to give her away.

    My husband had to start a job about a month ago that takes him away from home 6 days a week for the next 9 months. It was unexpected and has put a damper on the amount of exercise and training our lab was getting. I am trying to pick up the slack but with a full time job and two active children it is hard.

    She trained easily in the beginning and was housebroken within 2 days. She learned to sit, stay, shake paw with ease. I have been working on her excessive jumping on us and all other people and trying to get her to come on command as well with no luck. I use small treats as she is very food motivated. I've also tried mixing in huge amounts of praise which only works occasionally.

    She was spayed approximately 7 days ago and they are saying that she should go for any walks or major activity for 10 - 14 days which is ridiculously hard because I now have an already high energy, stubborn dog that can't burn off her frustrations.

    We have an interview with a doggy day care next week which I am worried about as we had tried to get a dog walker in to help us when I'm working (I work a 1pm - 1am shift as a medic) but after just one day the dog walker said they weren't the right fit because our lab wouldn't walk to her style and would not listen to come back in the house after she let her out to pee. We did give her full disclosure as to her energy and walking style but it didn't work and now I'm afraid she won't pass the day care assessment.

    She does pull a lot on walks but I found a great harness that attaches the lead from the front so she can't pull forward. (It's been a huge help)

    Another thing is when she gets ahold of an item she knows she can't have - such as a child's toy, eraser, pencil etc. she will not release it. I have to pry her mouth open to which she then growls and snaps at me. This usually results in her getting a time out in her crate but not before I've chased her around the kitchen and living room which results in me on all fours cornering her to bring her to her crate. (It's quite a sight)

    She is crated when I leave the house but sleeps in our room at night which had worked thus far.

    Tonight however was the end of my patience. I was trying to make up my 6 year old's bed after having to have clean it following a night time accident when our lab jumped on the bed, looked right at me and peed on the mattress. I carried her outside telling her 'bad' and then following up with a time out in her crate.

    I don't know what else to do, as it stands I feel she'd be better suited with another home but would very much like some advice or guidance. Is the behaviour normal? Does she need to just burn off energy? I have tried to be as calm as possible when dealing with her but I'm spent.

    I think that's all for now and I apologize for the lengthy post but I really do need some help.

    Thank you for all your input.
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2016
  2. AlphaDog

    AlphaDog Registered Users

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    You have a full plate and a non compliant dog. My advice is to research a board and train professional trainer and give her up for 2 weeks, maybe a month. It would be money very well spent. The pee on the mattress incident is a spit-in-the-face expression of disrespect to you and your family. That behavior is not normal nor should it be tolerated. Without intervention it will I fear only get worse. Good luck.

    Moderator Note: Moderator's note
    Moderator Note:
    Some aspects of this post are out of line with behavioural science on how dogs learn and why they do what they do.

    Dogs are not motivated to 'dominate' humans. There is no need to show yourself as a 'pack leader', put a dog in his place, or show him who is boss.

    If you are having problems getting your dog's attention, or getting him to do what you want him to do, it's not because he is bad, stupid, disrespectful or deliberately defying you.

    These articles explain why in more detail:

    http://www.thelabradorsite.com/is-your-labrador-in-charge/
    http://www.thelabradorsite.com/my-labrador-puppy-wont-obey-me-any-more/
    http://www.thelabradorsite.com/3-reasons-your-labrador-is-disobedient/
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 3, 2016
  3. SwampDonkey

    SwampDonkey Registered Users

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    Your pup is not a year old and you sound so tired worried and sleep deprived, which is understanable young dogs are hard work when you just have them to look after but you've got so much to do. If you look on the site there are loads of different things you can do to improve her behaviour. She sound a pretty normal young dog to me. She may well have been just over excited when she wee'd and shes not long been spayed. I don't think she's stuborn just young and in need of guidence. This type of behaviour can often be misunderstood its not that unusual really. She was having a great game with you and it went a bit wrong. I've had a few dogs and labs now and yes some can be stuborn and very high energy but they are not vindictive.

    There are games that she can play which focus using her mind which tires them out just a much as physically activity if you look on the site.

    Stealing stuff is normal but if you chase them it turns into a great game for them its a double pay off they get something and you play with them. You can teach leave it and also swap for better things toys or food or offer a better game, she just sounds like she wants your attention.

    We've all been in a similar situatuion and understand how hard it is but it does get better. I was nearly pulling my hair out yesterday because my 2 year old boy decided he was deaf and ran away.

    I think what I'm try to say is use the site to find training ideas look for a better dog walker and see about day care. I know finding time for you must be hard but you maybe able to find a a trainer who uses kind methods to visit you at home. You need as much help as you can find but you need the right kind of help, she is a young creature who needs kind guidence.

    Everyone on the site will support you as much as possible and can give a lot better training advice than me, but I think its important to realise you are not on your own in this.

    kind regards Sxx
     
  4. MaccieD

    MaccieD Guest

    Hi and welcome. Your girl sounds like a pretty normal puppy to me, full of life and fun with some training issues.
    You can train a swop or drop for things she picks up ensuring that what you offer is of higher value, tasty bit of chicken for example. Don't chase her for the items as that makes the game more exciting. Also not having things laying around within reach helps, hard I know when you have children but if things aren't within reach she can't steal them. If she has something please don't prise her mouth open to get it. She has so far been polite and just growled to warn you, she could very easily have bitten and you could be storing up problems for vets to check her mouth in the future.
    Pulling on lead is very common and advice is normally to stop when you feel the lead tighten, once puppy is back in position to walk you can walk on. Yes it means you can bunny hop down the road but your dog will learn they pulling doesn't get him to the park, which is his reward. It takes time but it works.
    For the recall problems I would suggest Pippa's book Total Recall which will take you through all the basics and help in proofing it. It does work as many members can verify.
    I'm not sure what was going on with peeing on your daughter's bed but it most definitely was not your dog being disrespectful, trying to be dominant, alpha or any thing similar. She has recently been spayed so it could be related.
    Please don't lose hope, all can be resolved with training, even in a few sessions of 5 minutes several times a day. There's lots of help on the main site for training things like leave but if you go for a professional trainer please ensure that they only use positive reinforcement practices.
     
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  5. Raven12

    Raven12 Registered Users

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    My lab pup Jura is also 9 months old with very similar energy levels to your girl. It is normal, and can be a real challenge to handl, especially with a busy household and your husband working away.

    I may be wrong as I'm not the most experienced owner but the weeing incident does sound like an overexcited puppy who had been on restricted exercise. Jura is currently not getting her usual amount of exercise as she is in season so I'm getting some new behaviour to deal with too!

    There are lots of people on this site with huge amounts of experience who will be able help you out, it's a great forum and very supportive. What has helped me is taking Jura to a training class, and making sure I do several very short training sessions with her every day. I also use a lot of her food in frozen kongs to keep her occupied if I'm busy. I'm also playing a lot of scent games with her at the moment while her exercise is restricted, again using some of her daily kibble allowance.

    I hope this helps a bit

    J
     
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  6. Dexter

    Dexter Moderator Forum Supporter

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    Ah Bless you......and breathe!You've found a really good place to come for advice,support and reassurance....



    I agree with all of the above,not being there and seeing what was happening in the build up to the pee on the bed I couldn't say exactly why she did it but she's certainly not being vindictive.

    You are following the perfect pattern that many of us have gone through.....and it is completely normal,please let me assure you.You get the basic training done great and feel like you are really making progress and then the 'teenage' phase comes which is exactly were your dog is now and you wonder why they seem to have forgotten everything. Many of us have lived through this.
    Sounds like there has been a fair bit of change,your Husband's working patterns and her restricted excercise due to the spay.

    I would say don't worry about the Daycare assessment.I think the dog walker experience has made you apprehensive ( more of that in a minute),dont let it .I don't live in the UK but it has taken me 3 attempts to find a daycare I am happy with...so 3 assessments.They are looking for aggression,behavioural issues when they assess them,high energy antics will not eliminate them from being able to attend!Thank goodness or my dog would be blacklisted!Your dog will certainly benefit from the socialisation and excercise of daycare.There are several different kinds of Daycare,I would just say to choose one where there isn't free running all day,that your dog has a chance to have breaks.Ive finally been able to achieve that as new facilities have opened where I live,also to add the daycare I am using now has a Trainer who will work with your dog (and then you) and I see him helping a lot of people with dogs that pull.If you are short of time to devote to Training this could be something to think about.......its great that the harness is helping you to walk better but don't fall into the trap of relying on it and neglecting training.A harness is an 'aid' to help you it won't train your dog not to pull...trust me I've been head first in a bush too many times to not know that!

    Don't be put off by your first experience about trying another dog walker......she wasn't wrong for parting company with you if it wasn't working but that doesn't mean that you can't find someone that can help.So many of the Forum members rely on dogwalkers help and it can take a while to find the right person.......your Vet might be able to recommend someone else that you could try?

    I know you have free time concerns with your family/working life but fitting in some training classes or an activity for your dog would help massively,it tires them out physically and mentally.Something like agility or even just a basic obedience class that you could include the children in .....bonding you all together a little bit more.Even if you can't get to a class or an activity.training is so key at this stage,some clicker training at home would be really beneficial,there are lots of resources on here and the main Site.

    The nicking stuff is perfectly normal.....I seriously can't tell you how many of us adopted the 'minimal home decor' look after welcoming our dogs into our homes!I would really avoid prising her mouth open,it's distressing for you both and helping her to realise,wow,this is something amazing that you want....it makes it all the more highly valued!When Dexter used to nick something it was always swapped for something tasty,worked every time !If she isn't hugely food motivated you can use a toy she loves or a tennis ball? Just be really calm when she does it ( I know you are rolling your eyes as I type that but trust me,I do remember how frustrating it is when they have a prized posession or something dangerous in their mouths!)

    You 9/10 month old lab is completely normal ....they are almost adult size and weight but puppy brained still and it can be pretty exhausting! She really isn't being mean or malicious to you,she just doesn't know any better ,you can come through this other side .....

    Welcome to the Forum,
    best wishes
    Angela
     
  7. pippa@labforumHQ

    pippa@labforumHQ Administrator

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    Hi there, firstly the peeing on the bed. As Rosemary has said, this is nothing to do with disrespect or dominance. If anyone is puzzled by this statement there is information here: http://thehappypuppysite.com/the-demise-of-dominance-theory-in-dog-training/

    A bitch that was spayed only seven days earlier may well still have abdominal soreness and swelling and be feeling out of sorts. She may also be stressed by your own natural stress and worry over the whole situation. Plus a young dog may have the odd accident up to a year or so of age. Like small children who wet themselves occasionally. Excitement, forgetfulness, hanging on too long and so on. This is definitely not something to worry about at this point. :)

    Taking toys or 'your stuff' off a dog: Never try to pry something from your dog's mouth. This will result in the dog trying to swallow whatever she is carrying next time it happens, or in guarding her mouth, which you have already experienced.

    The correct way to get something from a dog is to offer something to eat. Not a boring old biscuit, but something tasty like a bit of cheese or chicken. As she goes for the food and drops what she was carrying, you can pick it up and put it out of sight.

    You say she 'knows she can't have' these things, but actually she doesn't. What she knows is, it gets lots of attention and excitement, and maybe being chased (which dogs love) when she takes something you don't want her to have. You need to get the kids to put these things away and / or put a baby gate across the room where they leave their stuff lying around.

    Many people get into difficulties with young dogs because they attribute the dog with more advanced understanding than it has. And your concerns are completely natural and normal in this respect. If you try to think of the dog as a more 'simple soul' (I'm not saying she is stupid) and figure out ways to change her behavior by reinforcing the good things she does, and preventing some of the bad using management strategies like barriers, and prevention, you'll find everything suddenly becomes much easier and more relaxed. :)

    You might find these helpful
    http://www.thelabradorsite.com/3-reasons-your-labrador-is-disobedient/
    http://www.thelabradorsite.com/the-three-rs-of-labrador-puppy-education/
     
  8. JulieT

    JulieT Registered Users

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    Your dog sounds like a very normal 9 month old Labrador - at that age, they are very boisterous and can be very trying.

    It sounds like your circumstances are difficult for you right now, and I know you probably know this, but your dog needs exercise, activities, training and a consistent routine.

    Is your dog crated for the whole time that you work? 1pm to 1am? If so, this is a very long time, and won't be helping at all so sorting out a solution of care while you work does sound like a priority.

    After that, you need to work on each issue one by one. Make a list and prioritise which one to look at first. There are loads of articles on the site that will help.

    I'll just cover one of your issues, and hope that other people will comment on more.

    You dog steals things and doesn't give them back, so you chase her and she snaps when you take the stuff

    The first line of attack here is to pick up your stuff. Labradors do pick things up, they are retrievers and are bred to enjoy carrying things in their mouths. It's absolutely normal for some young Labradors to pick up absolutely anything that is left lying around. If it's difficult to make some rooms 'puppy safe' then just have your puppy live in some rooms that you can manage to keep very tidy.

    The second line of attack is to stop chasing your dog, and certainly stop forcing her mouth open. I don't know whether she is playing, resource guarding or just objecting to your handling when she growls at you but stopping having to force something out of her mouth is a sensible first step for all of these.

    What you are teaching your dog at the moment is when she gets hold of something, it's going to be taken away, and probably in a way that's a bit unpleasant. So there is no way she is going to come near you after she has picked something up.

    Instead, train 'give' or 'drop it'. Hold one end of a toy and encourage your dog to tug the other end. Then hold a very high value treat up to her nose and say 'drop it' - the dog should let go of the toy to take the food. Say 'good' put the toy behind your back and give her the food. As soon as she has eaten the treat, offer her the toy again (this is important because you are trying to let her know she gets the item back again). Repeat a few times until this is smooth and the dog gives up the toy right away.

    The next step is to not have to hold the treat on her nose - start moving your hand away, then closing your hand over the food, then not having the food in your hand (you can pretend you have the food in your closed fist but have the treats next to you in a pot instead) so you 'fade out' the bribe. You don't always want to have to show your dog food in order for her to 'drop it'. You want to say 'drop it' only when the dog definitely is going to drop it, or actually is dropping it - so the word is associated with the action.

    You need to do this a lot, and also move on to using different items and having the item on the floor (so you don't have hold of it). Obviously do this with safe things, things you don't care about, and it's also helpful to be in a room with the door closed so your dog can't run off with the item.

    Best of luck with it.
     
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  9. snowbunny

    snowbunny Registered Users

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    Hello and welcome to the forum. You've had some great advice above, so I don't need to add anything more. I hope you find a way of working through these issues, which are completely normal and certainly not anything to do with disrespect. Please let us know how you get on and ask if you have any more questions.
     
  10. Boogie

    Boogie Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    Welcome to you, lots of good advice above. You have a very normal Lab puppy. Read the articles linked to - the advice truly works! My pet black Lab (Tatze) is three in April and I don't know what I would have done without this forum, I didn't have a clue! I have had dogs all my life, but Lab pups are an entirely different level of loopy juice lol!

    Once Tatze was grown up I realised I simply adore the loopy/crazy crocapups so I now raise Guide Dog puppies (I'm on my second now, Twiglet - yellow Lab/GR) and all their training is just the same as the articles here :)

    .
     
  11. Mollly

    Mollly Registered Users

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    Hi DM

    First of all a warm welcome from my 2 year old bitch Molly and me.

    Molly always has been a high energy dog. Iit came as quite a shock to me as I thought that Labs were quiet laid back creatures.

    Not only have you got a high energy dog, you have a adolescent dog. Molly was hell on 4 paws when she was at that stage. She forgot much of her training, pulled on the lead, jumped up at me .... I could go on and on. Although it was very unpleasant to live with, and like you I started to wonder if ours was the right home for her, I don't think it was naughtiness I would describe a lot of it as pure energy with nowhere to go.

    Julie has given you great advice. I find that when Molly picks up stuff it is usually because it is something we have handled and I think that our smell attracts her. It takes a lot of control not to chase a dog that has something you don't want them to have. Fighting them for it is just a game to them. Wow, Mum is joining in this is fun, she must like the game too is what your dog thinks.

    The keeping them quiet after the spay is one of the most difficult things to do. When Molly was spayed I had to take her to the Vets after 48 hours, as I went to leave the surgery he grinned at me and told me to take her for a walk. I said "but the leaflet you gave me said no exercise" he grinned at me looked at Molly and said "Well with that one she'll be bouncing off the ceiling as well as the walls if you don't". Clearly I have a very perceptive vet. So we went for a 20 minute lead walk
     
  12. Karen

    Karen Registered Users

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    Hi there and welcome, sounds like you have a lot going on in your home at present! Try to relax a little and believe that though this is a difficult time, things will get better.

    I would say that the peeing on the bed is almost certainly directly related to the recent spay - although there is a chance that she smelt the pee on the bed following your child's accident in the night, and just peed on top of it, like she might with another dog's urine outside. I would also say that once your dog has recovered from her spay (and 10-14 days sounds an impossibly long amount of time to keep her from exercising!), she will need a fair amount of exercise each day and quite a bit of training - which doesn't mean you have to do an hour of training each day, but just that you should fit the training in with everything you are doing; a couple of minutes at a time is fine.

    This really is a trying age with a young dog - mentally immature, but physically full of strength and energy. Hang in there. We've all been there; we're behind you and here for any advice, or just to listen to a vent!! :)
     
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  13. MaccieD

    MaccieD Guest

    Thinking about it we could give Juno short walks on a lead after her spay, no off lead, running or jumping. Juno was also coming off two weeks restricted exercise as she had her spay so we went through 4 weeks+ on little exercise. Short training sessions work wonders to help tire out their little brains
     
  14. kateincornwall

    kateincornwall Registered Users

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    I cant add to any of the excellent advice, but wanted to bid you welcome to our forum :)
     
  15. kateincornwall

    kateincornwall Registered Users

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    Sorry, just thought of something .When my bitch was spayed , she suffered from frequent peeing , even having the odd accident . My Vet gave me some medication for her , she said that sometimes , with " things being moved around inside " during the spay, it could lead to this very temporary problem . She was right as rain very soon after.
     

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