How do you know when it is time?

Discussion in 'Senior Labradors' started by Bettyhaha, Jul 20, 2018.

  1. Bettyhaha

    Bettyhaha Registered Users

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    I am new here and hoping that I can get some opinions from fellow Lab owners on what to do next...
    Jim is my wonderful 11 year old chocolate lab, who in the past has thought that because he is chocolate, he can eat chocolate! ;)
    8 months ago, he developed a cough, a wart? on his head and blood in his poo. I took him to the vet and she tried different medications. The wart? started to grow and where she said it didn't need to be removed, it grew so big, and my other dog kept licking it, I asked for it to be removed. At this point it was like a flat disk and the size of a 50p. It had to be removed under sedation and whilst sedated the vet had feel around to see if Jim has anything causing the blood in his poo and she could not find anything wrong.
    6 weeks ago the cough got worse, I thought I was going to lose him. The vet gave him steroids, diuretics, and antibiotics. Nothing seemed to improve and the vet suggested him being PTS but 5 days after starting everything I saw a little improvement.
    Well he is still with us, and I have not been back to the vet, as it is such a traumatic experience for Jim every time we go.
    Jim is my first elderly dog and I am struggling with whether I will know when the right time for him is. I am scared that I will leave it too late.. or that he is suffering.
    He has started barking at me and at nothing, he has had 2 poo's in the house when the door was open and he had just come in from outside. (solid poo). He pants quite a bit, I put it down to the heat..but he was panting this morning and it is quite cool. When I put his food down he looks at it then at me...he eats it, but not with his usual enthusiasm, its more like he is eating it because he knows he has to rather than wants to. He walked away from food the other day :(. He still has a cough, but it is occasional, but when he does it he gags like he is going to be sick, but never is.
    When I took him to the vets 6 weeks ago, he thought that it could be a mass pressing on something making him cough. Without doing a chest x-ray he couldn't be sure.
    I don't know what I am asking really, I feel so confused and sad. I do not want to see him suffer, but I do not want to lose him if its not his time....how do I know when it is the right time...I think that is what I am asking....
    Thank you..I think just typing this has helped me ..... x
     
  2. Stacia

    Stacia Registered Users

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    I have always 'known' when the time is right, you wake up one morning and you just know. I am so sorry you are in the position you are, it is a dreadful place to be, loving and not wanting to let go and just hoping it is going to get better. Two things my vet used to say, if they are alive, there is a 50/50 chance on the other hand 'it is better to be a day too early than a day too late'. Just look at your dog and I think you will know when the time comes. Meanwhile thinking of you and sending you a virtual hug.
     
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  3. lucy@labforumHQ

    lucy@labforumHQ Administrator Forum Supporter

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    I am so sorry to hear this, it's dreadfully tough when our pets get old. It never gets easier. Personally I have always tried to go with 'better a week too early than a day too late'. It breaks your heart, but I'd rather they didn't suffer when I know that things won't improve. There is an article here that might be of some help to you: Knowing When To Let Go. Wishing you and your dog all the very best at this tough time. You can only do what you think is right, try to not to be too hard on yourself whichever way that might take you. Lucy x
     
  4. Bettyhaha

    Bettyhaha Registered Users

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    Thank you for your replies. I read the article and found it very helpful. I am a deep thinker ... deep deep....I am feeling very low and finding it hard to express to family how i feel. I am not sure if I can live with myself if I end his life. Because then he would be no more and I would have been the cause. Maybe now is not the right time, and this is why I feel like I do. Hopefully I will wake up one morning and know....and not feel this pain and guilt, mixed in with fear and worry.
     
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  5. EmmaHughes

    EmmaHughes Registered Users

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    Hi thank you for this post, I think you know what feels right for you all I’m sure you will make the situation comfortable
     
  6. Lin

    Lin Registered Users

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    Finn began to pant a lot too, wasn't interested in anything but food, was limping along not wanting to walk. He too is a nightmare at the vet so I had a phone consult and it was agreed it was time. I took him in, a new vet was running half an hour late so we went for a 'final' walk. Long story short, this vet didn't want to do the deed and after a lot of discussion, tears and harrowing time, one and a half hours after we arrived, I tore up the consent form and we left. The worst day of my life by a mile. He is now on 3 painkillers and seems a little better but for how long i don't know. Moral of this story i guess, is to have a vet you can trust. Good luck and hugs.xx
     
  7. lucy@labforumHQ

    lucy@labforumHQ Administrator Forum Supporter

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    It is not a bad reflection on you or your morals when you end a pet's suffering if they are not going to get any better. In fact, in my opinion it speaks volumes about your strength and courage to do the right thing for a pet over the right thing for yourself. Talk to your friends and family, and talk to your vet too. Mine has been incredibly supportive when i've had to make tough decisions. Wishing you all the very best at this difficult time.
     
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  8. Bettyhaha

    Bettyhaha Registered Users

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    Thank you so much again for your replies and support. I have an appointment with our vet tomorrow at 3 to discuss our options, Lucy, your words have really touched me and mean a great deal. Thank you very much x
     
  9. Bettyhaha

    Bettyhaha Registered Users

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    We lost our big boy. I miss him so much. x
     
  10. Rosie

    Rosie Registered Users

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    Oh I'm so sorry. Words can't help, I know, but please remember that he had a life full of love and happiness, and no living creature would ask for more than that. You gave him what he needed and you protected him right to the end.
    And of course he isn't truly gone - you will always carry a little bit of him in your heart. He is immortal as long as you remember him.
     
  11. mandyb

    mandyb Registered Users

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    So sorry. Thinking of you. x
     
  12. pippa@labforumHQ

    pippa@labforumHQ Administrator

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    Oh dear, I am so sorry to hear that. Losing an old friend is very tough. xx
     
  13. Granca

    Granca Registered Users

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    I’m so sorry. He was obviously much loved. Give yourself time - you must have lots of happy memories that you will appreciate later.
     
  14. BevE

    BevE Registered Users

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    You put him first right to the end. Take care. xx
     
  15. edzbird

    edzbird Registered Users

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    So sorry. Your pain will be so raw now. In time, it will ease and you will smile when you think of your precious boy xx
     
  16. Charles L Bloss Jr

    Charles L Bloss Jr Registered Users

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    We have lost three wonderful labs. Two black, and a senior chocolate lab we knew would be with us a short time. We have lost two cats too. It is hell losing them, but they bring us such joy that we always get another one.
     

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