Well - because maybe you've been lucky enough to only met people who seem genuinely afraid. I've met one or two people like that - but only a few. A man on the Common who one day said (standing very still and in a quiet voice) 'I'm very afraid of dogs' and my friend did her best to immediately remove her dog from his vicinity and didn't say 'why the bl**dy hell are you walking through the main dogs off lead field on Wimbledon Common then?!?'. I've also seen a few people cross the street and avoid my dogs. Fair enough. But, much more times than those people, I've had stupid school girls (of course in a group of other girls) scream and cry, grasping the arms of their friends, 'oh, oh, I'm so scared! Oh, oh, I can't bear it!' when all they needed to do was cross the street to avoid my dogs that they have seen coming for 200m...or the STUPID teenager on the beach who - really, really - started doing pretend karate moves on my dangerous dogs. And so on. So, while I have lots of sympathy with people who may be genuinely afraid, the world is also packed with drama queens and stupid people. Who are the ones who are really doing the damage to people who are scared of dogs.
It's true; I've not come across any drama queens, screamers or arm wavers. The schoolgirls I meet all seem to want to cuddle Poppy and coo over her, and show no signs of wanting to be seen as being afraid of her. I have met people who were genuinely terrified of her - quite illogical to me, but there you go, and I've met people who don't like dogs who were annoyed that she wandered over to them, or people with small children who picked their children up out of what they saw as possible harm's way,but never anyone who pretended to be afraid! Thinking about it, there was one situation recently where I really did have to shake my head. A father with a small, obviously terrified child on his shoulders kept moving towards Poppy, staring at her and making barking noises. To Pops it seemed very menacing, and she was obviously very uncomfortable. I thought what a complete moron, what is he doing, she's going to start barking or growling at any second. I called Poppy back to me and asked him what he thought he was doing. Turns out he was afraid of dogs himself, but didn't want this to afflict his child as well, so he was trying to take the initiative to show her that dogs are friendly and harmless... Well, that nearly backfired badly on him! But we chatted a bit, and I explained that dogs really don't like being stared at, and we stood and talked for a couple of minutes while Pops mooched around in the undergrowth. Hopefully his little girl did learn that dogs aren't necessarily dangerous, and he learnt something about human / canine communication...
I think we have all met our fair share of silly people and very genuine people too. Only today on my PAT visit, I was leaving the Hospice when a Mum came out of A&E with her son around 7 years old, I was walking towards them, Hattie walking to heel not paying any attention to the boy, when we were walking past them he all of a sudden skuttled behind her moaning, the Mum said "oh he is scared of dogs", so there is Hattie in her uniform with Pets as Therapy in big blue letters on it, you would have thought she would have taken the opportunity to ask me could her Son even look at Hattie as she is a PAT dog and obviously VERY friendly, but no x
One of the things that causes a fear of dogs in a child is the parent/carer's reaction to an incident. So, for example, if a parent/carer sees their child being frightened by a dog and gets angry or anxious, starts shouting, panicking etc. the child will pick up on this and think "dogs are frightening because mum/dad/gran etc. is scared/panicking". Easier said than done, I know, to be calm and reassuring but this will be less likely to impart fear to the child. My son, at about 18 months,was knocked over and jumped on by a puppy. The puppy didn't bite him but ran over him as he lay on the ground and licked him all over, possibly nipped him. I was annoyed inside but I kept calm, turned it into a bit of fun with my son, the (young boy) owner was very apologetic and he picked up the pup so my son could stroke him. Fortunately, no harm done. Plum raced across the park when she saw a toddler, I didn't have a chance to put her lead on and she ignored my call. The toddler stood stock-still. Plum didn't jump, thank goodness, but licked him. When I got to her the poor boy was shaking and crying, still stock- still. I was mortified. I apologised like mad but the dad was so cool "don't worry", all smiles, "it's no problem" and knelt down with his son and calmly reassured him, wiped his tears, said "she's just being friendly" etc. I'm still mortified weeks later but the dear little boy is much less likely to be fearful of dogs owing to his dad's reaction.
The people who run screaming from a dog, or who climb up into a tree to avoid them - how do these people even adult? I'd hope they're getting therapy for their phobia, because dogs are like sparrows, they're blooming everywhere. I've come across one screamer (Xena just leaned in for a sniff as we were walking past) which made Xena even more excited and determined to get a sniff, and the woman kept screaming as I pulled the by now very excited puppy away There's one track that I will only walk on in bad weather because in good weather it's full of Ladies Who Walk with their Crisp White Trousers and Immaculate Shoes and Snappy Sun Visors. Xena leaned in for a sniff and I got a "ugh I'm so sick of being slobbered on by dogs"...she was on lead and didn't even make contact. This track is one of the few off-lead tracks in the city, but it's flat and has beautiful views so is very popular with The Ladies Who Walk.
I always remember a little girl who was out with her Grandparents, who asked me if she could touch Annie, (Annie only about 16 weeks). They said she was a bit unsure of dogs. I said at the time Annie had never meet a small child, so she was unsure too. The Grandma told the little girl to slowly put out her hand and let Annie smell it. The little girl did and Annie lick her hand, the little girl laughed. They both learned something that day. There is another child who walks pass our house going to school. Annie ran to the gate and barked and wagged her tail. She could not get out being behind two gates. The child said something and the father said she is only saying hello to you. I called Annie to me. Now if we are in the garden and the child goes pass, he shouts, Hello Annie. So if the adult is sensible I find the children are ok to. It just another life skill.
I'm reminded of yet another incident that has caused me to think that all people with British accents love dogs! And this story is exactly about a parent's reaction having just the right effect on the child and the dog. Or in this case, both parents and both grandparents. I was visiting my mum with Snowie one evening (she lives in a block of flats). We came down in the lift, Snowie off lead, me not expecting to see anyone in the lobby at that hour. But the lift doors opened and, to Snowie's delight, there were people! And people who said, "Hallo boy!", equally delighted to have a Labrador happily come out of the lift to greet them. I am guessing they were on holiday (the suitcases and British accents were a giveaway). Snowie gave cursory hallos to the toddler's parents who were outside the lift, but then made a beeline for the toddler in the pram. It all happened so quickly and I had no time to do anything. He stuck his nose into the toddler's hands, and he probably also tried to lick or smell her face. And what were the reactions? Absolute JOY! From everyone! The grandmother pushing the pram was just delighted. The grandfather tottering on his zimmerframe couldn't have smiled more proudly. And with all this cooing from the adults, Snowie wagged his tail even harder and turned back to the toddler and poked his nose in her hands again, which elicited even more proud cooing from the adults. Admittedly the toddler did instinctively hold up her hands to "protect" herself, and she did kind of squeal, but this wasn't seen as anything bad on Snowie's behalf. The adults just cooed and said things like, "What a lovely a doggy!". And it seemed they were so proud because the dog wanted to be with their toddler! And kept chattering away to the child about the doggy. It was a brief encounter, Snowie had satisfied his need to say hallo, and, wagging his tail and wearing his happy face (what a lovely expression!), continued walking with me through the lobby and outside. There was no drama. But the encounter really made my evening and put a huge smile on my face. And made me want to bump into British people with Snowie all the time!
It's just about this with Labs isn't it? I know that once Cassie (now over 30kgs) has done that all will be ok, but you just don't know how strangers will deal with it for whatever reason. That's a great post to read.
On a slightly different note, I was walking on a very wide footpath in the country, called Wood Street, the remnants of a Roman Road. It isn't a place you would normally go unless a dog walker or a rambler, but there was this strange man and as I got near, flattened himself into the hedge and said "does he bite', I replied, "only when I tell him"! I was scared also of him
If I see someone suspicious, that's when I put Snowie on the leash, and hold it tight as if I am trying to control the beast. I was told this is a good warning sign to a would-be attacker. Altho I am actually more worried they'd hurt Snowie - it does happen unfortunately. The woman who cleans our house takes Snowie out for a walk midday. She told me that if people ask her if he bites, she tells them he's okay as long as they don't touch her.
I have to be careful round here and often put my dogs on their lead if I'm worried by strangers. I do often get does he bite and I usually say no but I do, smile show my teeth and they laugh nervously.
Just a few more observations about fear as I know some people can find it hard to imagine why or how so many people can have such a fear of dogs, or they struggle to see it as rational or reasonable. Most fears are learned but that doesn't make them irrational or silly. While the actual focus of fear (dogs, bees, the dark, spiders...) is learned we're all programmed to be very quick to learn to fear things, because that's how we survived. We all come from a long line of organisms that learned to run away at the right time and consistently made the right decisions to do so. Fear is a survival mechanism. Very significant and lasting fear responses can be learned in one single encounter. And a good thing too. Without this ability your ancestors wouldn't have survived the second encounter with that wolf pack they came across on that sunny day 15 000 years ago. And you wouldn't be here. That doesn't mean we should have to put up with fears or anxieties, because they can be very debilitating, can get out of hand and can hugely disrupt our lives and happiness. Fortunately just as they can be easily learned they can be unlearned, with a structured program. Humans do have a few innate fears (ie a fear that seems to be involuntary and present without any prior exposure or learning in most people). Fear of falling/fear of heights seems to be present from birth, for example.
