In the midst of the puppy blues

Discussion in 'Labrador Puppies' started by 1001, Apr 22, 2018.

  1. Anomaly

    Anomaly Registered Users

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    I love that idea! Simple treats, even the high value, weren’t working on their own. This sounds promising. I’ll try this next time (2 weeks from now) and see what happens.
     
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  2. Eva A

    Eva A Registered Users

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    Oh god yeh I know,but hubby is out of house 11.5 hrs so I do most of it on my own...believe me I can’t wait till he calms down...by time hubby comes home he has eaten and calms down for the day...I’m working on getting the Gentle Leader on him!
     
  3. 1001

    1001 Registered Users

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    Thanks for the advice! I've been analysing things very closely when getting him in the car and I'm beginning to think its not actually me picking him up thats the issue. If I open the car door on the side he's lying at he actually falls back allowing me to scoop my arms under him exactly as he does any other time I pick him up :)
    So my interpretation is that its moving about in the car thats causing the problem, perhaps due to feeling unbalanced when the car is moving and he hasn't associated that in a stationery car this won't happen?
    In any case, I'm going to keep slowly working on making it a positive experience and see how things go.
     
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  4. cdwarrior

    cdwarrior Registered Users

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    Yes, it gets better! I had serious concerns when I got our Aimee at 8 weeks old. She was NOT a good puppy. She was a little Tasmanian Devil. If she wasn't asleep it was non-stop Zoomies, nipping, jumping, chewing, pooping, peeing ... I thought it would never end! I had moments of seriously wondering if this was the right dog for us. I had hoped for a mellow puppy but we got the polar opposite, a "mentally hard of hearing" ADHD dog with OCD! Even the manager at the doggy daycare where she goes, who has been working there for 10 years, said Aimee is a 9 on a scale of 10 for hyper crazy, even for lab puppies. And he's seen a lot of dogs over those 10 years! Ugh! I actually had moments of regret for having chosen this puppy out of the litter, then felt guilty about thinking that. But, as time went by I realized part of the problem was, we were still strangers. She was a baby, basically abducted by aliens, torn from her mother and siblings, thrown into a strange environment. She needed time to adjust and we needed time to get to know each other. We needed time to bond. With bonding comes patience. She's 9 months old now and I love her to pieces. I would be devastated if I lost her now. And, yes, she has mellowed out a lot now that she has grown and adapted to her new home. We adopted her sister, Ayla, about 6 weeks ago and I'm having a bit of the same issue. Ayla is even more mellow than Aimee is so, on some levels, I feel even more guilty because I have no "crazy ADHD puppy" excuse to blame my frustration on when she misbehaves or just doesn't know something. But I just don't know her yet. She's still a relative stranger. I like her and care about her, but I have yet to deeply bond with her the way I have with Aimee. But, knowing how it went with Aimee, I know I will get there with Ayla too. It just takes time. Then you will love them so much you can't imagine life without them. Hang in there!
     
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  5. 1001

    1001 Registered Users

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    The bold pretty much sums up my feelings with my pup just now word for word. Is there a general age when the true bond really hits or is it different from person to person? Its been nearly 8 wks since I first took Gimli home and I'm still yet to shake that feeling that he's just an intruder in my life, although I am glad to admit those feelings are getting less and less frequent.

    A quick (p)update for those that might still be following along. Gimli is now 16 weeks and I really can't find fault in him at all. He's grown to be such a calm, loving, intelligent puppy, which makes me hate myself even more for having such negative feelings.
    We do still have issues with picking up everything he sees but it happens a lot less now and going for walks is now starting to become an enjoyable process for both of us, its just a shame we're limited to little 5-10 minute stints.
    He's also recently learned how to jump up on the couch with me and although I don't mind him being there, I worry that the jumping up and down won't be good for his joints. I do try to lift him up and down myself but he can be so quick that its sometimes hard to catch what his intentions are.
    Our previous car issues are improving, he's perfectly happy to be lifted out as long as I open the door on the side he's at. He still won't come across to the other side though but we're working on it!

    Over the past couple of days I've noticed he's started whining again whenever I leave him/put him to bed after maybe 2-3 weeks of this never once happening so I'm not quite sure what's triggered that.

    It also looks like he's started teething now as I've noticed yesterday a number of his front teeth are gone/loose . Any advice on what to expect through this process and how long it typically lasts? I've heard pretty mixed things from he'll be completely normal to being moody or sad (he has been fairly quiet today but I have also considered that it could be the unusually hot weather we're experiencing, equally I've wondered if the return of the whining might be related to the teething).
     
  6. Boogie

    Boogie Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    It varies from person to person.

    I bond with my pups the moment I set eyes on them, and remember that moment with each pup. But plenty of people take much, much longer to bond with their pups. It doesn’t matter - you are the most important person to your pup and their bond with you will be just the same however you are feeling imo.

    .
     
  7. 1001

    1001 Registered Users

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    Hey all, long time no speak! (and given this thread was mostly my place to vent, my lack of updates must mean things are going pretty well!)

    So we're at 18 wks now and I think for the first time I really don't have anything to complain about! (I must have taken a knock to the head)
    I've just spent the last 5 minutes reading back over some of my early posts here and it really is like describing another dog, Gimli is so different compared to how he was and I really must apologise over how silly and dramatic I was being (some of the things I was saying are just cringeworthy now I'm reading them again:rolleyes:)
    • Biting - Playtime used to mean "how many times can I draw blood from Dad?" and the backs of my jeans have seen better days. Now I genuinely can't remember the last time he even attempted to bite me or my clothes, its just not something that even crosses his mind anymore.
    • Picking up junk - It used to feel like every 2-3 steps out on walks he would pick up a stone or leaf or crisp packet or worse. It does still happen, but only once or twice over the whole walk and he's beginning to understand 'drop it' so the problem is usually quickly solved.
    • Attention - He is still my shadow but I don't really mind these days, he'll let me get on with whatever it is I'm doing now, he just seems to want to hang out with me while I do it, which is fine by me.
    • Separation - it used to be the second I left the room it was the end of the world. Now a kong or two and he's perfectly happy on his own and will usually have a nap once that's done. The record for leaving him alone is 2 hours, I've never really tried going longer than that though so I'm not sure how he'd react. In an ideal world I could leave him for 4-5 hours but for now, I'm happy with what we've achieved.
    • Destructive chewing - He used to be awful for chewing furniture and clothes and other things he shouldn't. Like biting, I'm struggling to remember the last thing he tried to chew that he shouldn't have.
    • Bladder control - I felt like a yoyo the first week, potty trips were every half hour back then. He's extremely reliable now, I tend to take him out every 3-4 hours as a matter of course anyway but its clear to me that he understands not to pee indoors. That said we did have one incident last week in my spare room but I would put that down to this room always being closed so perhaps he didn't understand that it was part of his 'den' but no big deal really.
    So yeah, I'm happy to say that things really are looking up now :)
    Don't get me wrong, we're not without our difficulties still but they're so few and insignificant that I feel confident we'll overcome them eventually!
     
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  8. leejane

    leejane Mum to the Mooster

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    That's such a positive post @shawnlinus and very good news to hear.

    Don't underestimate the issues you had in previous posts , they were perfectly valid and summed up exactly how you were feeling at the time.

    Maybe in the future you will point new puppy parents towards your thread and they will realise they are not alone in feeling pretty fed up at times. :)
     
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  9. Harley Quinn

    Harley Quinn Registered Users

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    This entire thread is a great read and I always see such a pay-it-forward commitment on this forum. We survive the puppy blues and then we hang around and offer support and belief that it will get better to others who then do the same thing. It really is part of the magic here.

    Great read @shawnlinus
     
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  10. Stew

    Stew Registered Users

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    I’m a couple of weeks behind you (16 weeks on Saturday) and this thread was a massive help. How’s daycare going? How many days a week do you take him?
     
  11. selina27

    selina27 Registered Users

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    Great read @shawnlinus , sounds like he's doing really well at 18 weeks!
     
  12. Maxx's Mum

    Maxx's Mum Registered Users

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    Couldn't agree more. This forum stopped us from taking Maxx back to the breeder; he was an insane biter and it was unfortunately at the same time that we had inconsiderate overseas visitors who would go to bed really late (like 3.00am) and then I'd be up with Maxx at 4.00am with bleeding hands, torn clothes and wrecked outdoor furniture playing cook, cleaner and taxi driver to guests who didn't lift a finger. In hindsight I should have chucked Maxx into bed with them :mad:...but now we don't know what we would do without him. He is cheeky and naughty but we just love him to bits. So hang in there everyone who is having troubles with little crocopups.
     
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  13. Chewies_mum

    Chewies_mum Registered Users

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    This is so lovely to hear shawnlinus! We went through the puppy blues at about 10 weeks and now at 13 weeks we have some good days and some bad days but aren't feeling as tense or worried as before. I dind myseld enjoying him a lot more now. It will be nice when things have settled further though!
     
  14. 1001

    1001 Registered Users

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    Thanks everyone! This forum and its members were definitely a life saver for me and I'll be sure to stick around to offer any advice I can to new parents :)

    The puppy blues is definitely something that needs to be more openly talked about and accepted as I dread to think how many parents have rehomed their puppy prematurely because they didn't have a place like this forum to learn about what they were going through and to know its not forever!
    I can only hope my thread might offer some help to others in the future too.
     
  15. 1001

    1001 Registered Users

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    I'm glad you've found the thread helpful Stew. The daycare is going well, he thoroughly enjoys it and I have certainly noticed a big difference in his confidence and manners since starting (although that could also just be part of him getting older and other factors too). He goes anywhere between 3 days and 5 days a week depending on my work schedule.
     
  16. Leanne82

    Leanne82 Registered Users

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    I have hit a wall today.

    Maslow is 12 weeks, he’s a joy really.. couple of accidents in the house both nothing major.. mostly sleeps through the night.. still biting but it’s getting better.

    But I am SO tired. I got in from work today (where he comes with me so I don’t even get that break!) and I just want to sit on the sofa and stare at crap TV. But no. Puppy wants to charge around with a squeaky ball. Or bite my feet. Or climb on the dining room table. Or climb on the other dog.

    I can’t crate him, he will fall asleep and frankly I can’t cope with another early morning (today was 5:15am :confused:). He’s not even being naughty. He just wants to play.

    I want to drink coffee and doze.

    We have reservations booked for tomorrow night and the ONE person I trusted to look after him has had to pull out. So now I either don’t go. Or I leave him with someone who he doesn’t know.

    For context I have a child with SEN who is on a residential trip, this is why it’s so important that we go. My eldest daughter never gets to go out for meals as it’s too hard for my son. I promised her this and I’m just so frustrated. No way on earth could he be left for a couple of hours yet. He would be a wreck.

    Sigh. First world problems eh?
     
  17. Leanne82

    Leanne82 Registered Users

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    This is what I’m dealing with. I would literally kill for some of his energy right now!
     
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  18. SwampDonkey

    SwampDonkey Registered Users

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    We're about n the country are you?
     
  19. Leanne82

    Leanne82 Registered Users

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    West Midlands :)
     
  20. Stacia

    Stacia Registered Users

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    It does get better I promise, but not yet! I think you could go out and leave him with someone he doesn't know as long as you trust them.
     

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