My lovely Cassis went in to be spayed on Thursday just gone, she's had 2 seasons and is 22 months old. And I've been beside myself with guilt and quite irrationally emotional. I've had bitches spayed before without a second thought, but they had all had one litter of puppies before hand. I just haven't been able to get the thought out of my head that I've taken something away from her that can never go back. I know it means she'll never suffer another phantom pregnancy, and she did suffer, or get pyometra and be ill but I still feel terrible. To make matters worse the vet found a small lump just inside the incision site which I gave permission to have excised, so this meant she was under anaesthetic for longer, and had has a bigger wound than she would have done otherwise. She cried and whined/howled most of the night, which I've never experienced before. Then today we've been back for post op check, and I got talking to a lady in the waiting room (well, Cassie started it!) whose dog had had an immense amount of orthopaedic surgery elbows, hips, CL you name it he's had it, can hardly have an original joint left in his body. He's a rescue dog, I asked what breed, she said Rottie/Mastiff x Staffy -- therefore a big body on little legs. Well when I saw him I couldn't believe it -- so misshapen and ugly, but I'm not to judge, he was clearly amazing happy in himself and thrilled to see his owner. But he has got a huge barrel of a body on little Queen Anne legs. I felt quite sick actually, to think that human beings can cause such a freak. And as his owner said heaven knows what has happened to the rest of his litter. And then we saw the lovely vet nurse, capable, kind and professional. I told her how I felt, so bad, and she told me that she does a lot of work for a dog charity and that really without question I'd done the right thing -- that it isn't just the pit breeds etc that get into difficulty, that more and more they are seeing Labradors and GR's coming in because people can't or won't cope with them once they hit 7-9 months of age. Of course neither of these things are new to me, but it has helped me feel better I suppose. And got me musing, again, on the rights and wrongs of breeding and human manipulation of dogs.