Is it normal to be thinking about rehoming my puppy?

Discussion in 'Labrador Puppies' started by vicvegas, Jul 24, 2016.

  1. vicvegas

    vicvegas Registered Users

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    My puppy is nearly 6 months old and she just doesn't seem to be fitting in with the family. Hubby hasn't bonded and kids are scared of her. It's causing so much stress. Surely it should be fun having a puppy?! We keep thinking about what's best, rehoming? Sad
     
  2. Snowshoe

    Snowshoe Registered Users

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    Puppies, especially Lab puppies, can be over the top bouncy and bitey. Is that why she is not fitting in? Does she live in the house with you, where most pet dogs want to be, and should be? It can be overwhelming. We can help you with ideas if you give us some more clues. But a puppy is not for everyone, a dog at all is not for everyone. Maybe you would be better with a mature dog or a different pet?

    If rehoming is in the best interest of your family and puppy then it's great for you to think of it. Would she go back to her breeder? That would be ideal for her. But give us some better ideas of exactly why you are thinking this way and maybe we can help you out.
     
  3. vicvegas

    vicvegas Registered Users

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    Hi, it was my idea to get her as I had a golden lab when I lived at home. I don't want to re-home but she is very mouthy and I've had issues with my 6 year old twins. They are scared as she lunges up and has knocked my son over twice in the past and bit his head. I have a trainer and I am separating and supervising the dog and kids. My husband is really fed up with her. He feels like we can't go out hardly as always have to consider the dog. When we all go out its very stressful for me as I have to control her from jumping up at people and we have to watch the kids. He feels like there is no happy ending, we either keep her and he is miserable or re home and then I will be upset. I have signed an agreement with the breeder to contact her first if I want to re-home. I think the breeder was a bit odd so wouldn't want to take her back to them. I can't believe this is happening as I have wanted a dog for so long....
     
  4. JulieT

    JulieT Registered Users

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    Hello there - 6 months is a really difficult age to live with a Labrador. Near adult body, but very puppy brained! Labradors are bouncy, mouthy, and often over enthusiastic when young. They also stay young for quite a while....

    If you can stay consistent, and keep training, then this time will pass and you will have a lovely family dog. But it is quite a lot of hard work, and it takes some months. I wish you the best luck in getting your husband on side with the idea that your dog is still really a baby, and with lots of love and care will grow up to be very different.

    That said, I used to think that rehoming a dog was a terrible outcome, but I no longer think that. If you really think that a dog doesn't fit in with your family, or isn't going to be part of your family (and dogs really do need to be, I think), then I don't think you should feel bad about a decision to rehome. So long as (with professional advice, eg one of the large, well respected animal charities) the dog finds a good home, then she will probably adjust very quickly.
     
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  5. Boogie

    Boogie Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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  6. AlphaDog

    AlphaDog Registered Users

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    If you can afford the cost consider board and train. Ask your current trainer.
     
  7. edzbird

    edzbird Registered Users

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    I do hope this works out for you, you've waited long for her. Your pup is a baby really. Maybe a different trainer would give you a new perspective? Perhaps Hubby could take her training - this has helped with us. I do all the day to day training, but OH does the handling in class, and it has helped him immensely. (he's still hopeless.. but he can see the methods and results).
    I will add, though, that all our dogs have been "second hand", and I have been eternally grateful to whoever, and for whatever reason, has given up their dog. All three of them had very different circumstances, and we have loved them with all our hearts.
     
  8. Hugo's mum

    Hugo's mum Registered Users

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    I feel your pain our puppy is 7 months old and still very mouthy my girls 8&9 love him but also get fed up of him easily my husband is fed up of the constant biting and I'm left picking up the pieces. I started with a trainer a couple of weeks ago. We debated for 2 years about getting a dog and fully researched everything but it is much harder work than we thought - I dream of the days when we can go on long walks without the constant lead pulling a d can sit and watch tv without either being jumped on and a meal without a dog vetoing his way through it as he is in his crate. We were also promised help from my parents when it came to holidays and visiting friends for the weekend but that has been quickly withdrawn ! I hope you make the right decision for you ... We aren't considering rehoming but it is hard ...
     
  9. Edp

    Edp Registered Users

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    Hi there, as others have have said...you have a puppy behaviour in an adult sized dog. This is a normal difficult stage that takes time and patience to manage. I had 6 year old twins when Meg was the same age...I just kept them apart mostly until she really settled at about a year. I worked very hard with Meg at weekly obedience classes to get her to the settled family pet we wanted. It's not easy and I guess harder for you as your husband does not sound as committed. If that's the case rehoming may be the best option for you all as it will not get better unless you are all on the same page. Best wishes with whatever you decide. Emma Meg Jasper and boys.
     
  10. SwampDonkey

    SwampDonkey Registered Users

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    it's s
     
  11. vicvegas

    vicvegas Registered Users

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    Thanks so much for all your help guys. I'm so exhausted from worrying and crying. Just so confused about what to do for the best. I really enjoy taking her for a walk on my own and have meet so many nice people. She's a lovely dog and I'm sure she'll be ok when she's had more training and got through the teething stage. However although my kids say they love her, they are scared of her. They jump if she comes in the room and scream if she pops up unexpectedly. They are scared to go in the kitchen in case she is loose. Husband doesn't like going for walks with her, can't stand the biting, jumping up and hates the poo thing. My trainer has been very helpful and logical. Could this really ever work????
     
  12. Hugo's mum

    Hugo's mum Registered Users

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    You need to go with your heart however head would suggest waiting a couple of months of possible for this stage to end... You will of course still be tied to having a dog in terms of having to plan days out etc with the dog in mind but it might bring you the joy to the family you are hoping for?! I often wonder if we should have got a smaller breed but we chose a Labrador because of the temperament and I love to walk- just didn't expect the prolonged biting stage ! X
     
  13. vicvegas

    vicvegas Registered Users

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    I think it's going to be make or break this summer holiday as I will be here for 6 weeks with my puppy and twins! When I take her out all she wants to do is find a dog to wrestle with and I think maybe she'd prefer to live with other dogs or on a farm?! But then I get upset when I think about someone else taking her away....:(
     
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  14. Millieboo

    Millieboo Registered Users

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    Can you involve your twins in some obidience training? My 2 1/2 year old gets involved in it every day, I sit next to her or she is in my knee and I make sure she don't give a treat until Millie do as told. It made the bond between them stronger and when Millie gets too mouthy on my daughter I can hear her say, No! Sit! Good!
    We usually do sit, lay down and stay all three of us once a day.
     
  15. SwampDonkey

    SwampDonkey Registered Users

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    Wanting to play with other dogs Is just another stage they go through eventually it with training and maturity it does stop. She's just doing what puppies do it's not you she is just a silly young thing, with the attention span of a goldfish. No one will take her away unless you want them too she is your pup.
     
  16. vicvegas

    vicvegas Registered Users

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    I will bribe the twins to train with me every day of the summer holiday!
     
  17. Newbie Lab Owner

    Newbie Lab Owner Registered Users

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    Does your puppy have some good strong cues, like sit, down etc. You could play some fun games involving your twins, using your puppy's daily food allowance. Do you do clicker training? You don't have to use a clicker and I would may be not give children the clicker as they can get a bit carried away. You could teach your puppy something and then with the children get them to do it. They may like to play hide the kibble on the grass and let puppy find it.
    Out on lead walks you can ask for already learned behaviours every few steps to help your pup focus on you. Games in the house and garden, of short duration can tire your pups brain, then have plenty of rest periods in between. I wish you well and hope you have a fun summer. I've heard wine helps but I can't stand the taste so no experience of it, lol.
     
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  18. Lisa

    Lisa Registered Users

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    Hello,,and welcome here. I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time with your pup. There is no doubt that puppies are hard work at the best of times, and add small children and a husband who is not exactly supportive, and I can see you are in a tough place. And in my mind it is the ingredient of your husband that will make or break your future with your pup.

    I would suggest a couple things. First of all, pick the behaviour that is causing you the most grief (other than the lead pulling, I'll get to that in a minute) and start to work on that. You will find that if you have success in something it will give you motivation to work on others. So perhaps you could work on helping your kids learn how to train the pup - like others have said show them how to get the pup to sit, stay, down (I'm assuming she can do these? Of not, work on those!). Make these training sessions short, and space them out during the day. So one child could practice "sit" with the pup in the morning, and another one for a few minutes in the afternoon. Find out what motivates your pup - if it's food, which it is for my dog and many other Labs, use small treats or pieces of kibble for a reward. Some dogs prefer toys or a quick game of tug or a fetch of a ball. If you can find ways for your kids to enjoy your pup it will make things easier.

    Using a crate to give your pup a safe place to withdraw is good for everyone for short periods of time. And if you can find some successes your hubby will perhaps start to feel a little more positive about having the pup as well. Because if the two of you can't be pulling together on this I think you are going to have a hard time going forward. If you can get him involved in the training and help him find some success that would be great, too.

    The whole issue of the lead is a tough one. It is not easy to train a dog not to pull using positive only methods, but it can be done, but it takes lots of patience. Basically you do not move forward unless the dog is not pulling. There are others on here that can give you some advice on this, and there is lots of threads on the boards and articles on the main site to help you with this. You can get through this stage with determination and by putting the work in you will come out the other end with a well-trained dog that everyone can enjoy. But little steps at a time...

    I wish you the best of luck. Ultimately you know what you can handle and what you can't, so don't feel bad if you decide that, in the end, you have to re-home her. It's ok to make that decision. But if you decide to keep on, we are here to give you advice and suggestions, and to provide a place for a moan when you need it. We've all been there!

    Keep us posted!
     
  19. vicvegas

    vicvegas Registered Users

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    Thanks so much for all the advice. I'm still going round in circles! Torn because I love going for walks on my own but worried about her hurting the kids & grumpy husband. Will see how it goes in the next few weeks.
     
  20. pedrolo

    pedrolo Registered Users

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    Hi Vicvegas... We can feel your pain, because many of us have felt like that.

    You have choosen the right breed.

    You are investing, time, efort, and pain to grow a nice familiar dog...

    But it takes time, and needs support...

    Nowadays my dog Dana, is 10 months, and around 5-6 it was such a stressful situation as you writes... I have 2 daugthers, 8 and 6... and we had hard time, because of biting... some cloths were riped... some mouthing scratching and pain... even fear and cry... but on the other hand... there were some "wonderful windows"... when she was calmed... (not many times... to be honest)... but biting is a period... and will pass... try to involve your kids feeding the puppy, try to play with them and the puppy... and do not heasitate to use the crate to preserve your kids...

    Take it easy... you will get extra rewards...

    My dauthers LOVE Dana today... but I know that Dana is Still a child... and i still supervise the play...

    Best regards... we support you, any decission you take.

    Pedrolo.
     
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