okay so recently i've been having my girlfriend around often, loki my lab is a year and half old and is normally fine and happy around strangers and new people, always happy to greet anyone who enters the house and it excited and happy to greet my girlfriend, now when me and her cuddle and kiss, more often than not he just lays on the floor and lets it happen, sometimes he comes up to the bed (cause he's allowed and sleeps there) just to see what were doing and get some attention, and goes down when told, now to the problem... if me and my girlfriend 'play' around, as in push each other or poke each other, all in a fun way loki will get into alert mode and go for her, no teeth or growls or no attempts to bite her he just gets up and between us in an alert defensive mode, this is behavior i don't want to happen around her as she feels scared and not safe, so how do i go about correcting or stopping this defensive behavior.
Hello there, and a warm welcome. Is this really a problem? If my OH comes to give me a hug, my dog will jump up at us, wanting to be in on the 'pack hug'. We're cool with that. I should think if we started pushing each other around, even in play, he'd be confused or want to join in. How about you just act in a way that you dog is comfortable with? He has been your partner longer than your girlfriend by the sounds of it anyway.
Hello and welcome to the forum from me, Willow and Shadow, who are 17 months old. I don't play this way with my husband (we're both far too old and boring for that kind of shenanigans), but I imagine if I did, the dogs would want to join in and would probably get over-excited. I do play with them individually and together, which is great fun, but has to be carefully managed to ensure that it doesn't get too boisterous. If his behaviour is playful, then you have two choices; let him join in or stop winding him up. If it is making him nervous, you really only have one choice; stop behaving in a way that is making him uncomfortable. Good luck and let us know how you get on.
Hi and welcome!! Loki sounds like he is very fond of you. Don't worry, this behavior will calm down as he gets more used to your girlfriend, but stop the horsing around for now until he is more confident around the two of you. He just doesn't understand what is going on yet.
My girl gets very excited if my husband and I start messing around and any laughter, squealing etc.makes her more excited but at 18 months she wants to join in more than anything else. The previous 2 family Labradors, in the family at different times, have both showed protectiveness around the family. If my dad started fooling around playing with my mum, all my mum had to do was call the dog and she would be straight on my dad, grab his arm and pulling him away. Funnily enough she wouldn't release his arm until my mum told her either despite the close loving relationship with my dad. One of my most vivid memories is of our first Labrador girl hurtling down the garden, knocking my cousin's husband over because he had gone to smack their son for misbehaving and Mitzi was having none of that. All dogs, not just Labradors, can be protective of their owners/families so when playing/fooling around bear in mind how your dog may react they don't necessarily translate the intentions the same as a human. By the sound of it your boy is just trying to keep you safe, and has not displayed any unwanted behaviours i.e. growling, barking, snarling which would be very different. As others have said either live with his response which is not unusual or refrain from the actions which cause him to react. He may become accustomed to the fooling around but his reaction won't necessarily change.
Our dog used to do exactly the same. He was just excited and wanted to join in. Over time he gradually stopped and now doesn't really do it anymore (guess he has become jaded about our relationship, hehe). I agree with the suggestions given - to avoid horseplay in front of your dog for now. That way both your dog and your girlfriend will feel more relaxed.
Hi and welcome from Hattie 8 years and our rescue Charlie 5 years. Hattie is very much my dog and if my OH or any of my four children give me a hug or we are messing around she gets very excited/concerned and gets inbetween me and whoever. Helen x
My 2 year old dog, Harley, jumps up and gets inbetween us if we cuddle up on the sofa. If we are messing around she comes running over to join in. We allow her to join n playing......it's more fun
i don't mind if he gets in between the cuddles, its cute and funny, but when we play fight he gets in to a stance/alert mode and gives off the impression that he will harm her if it continues which makes her feel nervous/unsafe around him, i want them both to feel comfortable around each other and would rather not stop the play fights between us, isn't there a training exercise that can help him realize that i'm not in danger?, just to be clear, he's not giving off a excited or hyper energy when he does this, and its definitely not a "let me join in" kind of vibe
Personally, if I was doing something that was intimidating my dog, or causing him to be uncomfortable, and it was in my ability, I would stop doing it in front of him. This is why I don't demand cuddles from Willow, who is not a tactile dog. I could go up to her and fling my arms around her and hold her in a big, warm bear-hug, but she would be tense and uncomfortable, even if it "felt" good to me. However, if you absolutely can't stop this behaviour,then your option would be to gradually build it up in front of your dog, rewarding him heavily. So, get some really, really good treats. Poke your girlfriend. Get her to give him a treat. Poke her again. Have her give him a treat. Have her poke you. Give him a treat. Next day, poke her twice, give him a treat. Punch her in the arm, give him three treats. Over time, he will learn to associate you "playing" with treats. If the treats always come from her, then he will learn that she is the provider of all things good and will relax around her while you're doing this. This may take some time. Don't push it to the point he becomes uncomfortable. Keep sessions short. Which means showing some restraint in the short term. But, given enough time and positive training of desensitisation like this, you'll be able to be wrestling each other to the floor in no time and he'll just be salivating, awaiting his tinned sardines...
Great advice from Fiona but if you go for the training/treat route make sure you use really high value treats, roast chicken for example, and it will take time to desensitize and build his comfort around your "play" fights which are obviously not play fights to him.
