I am afraid I am another member of the "Don't Do It Brigade". If you made it through the newborn stage, the toddler stage would be a nightmare. My daughter had the misfortune to be flooded out of her home and arrived at my house with half an hours notice. With her she brought her nearly 3 year old. Molly was just 5 months at the time. A biting, scratching ball of energy. It was a nightmare. We coped by keeping them apart, but there were two of us handeling the situation. I love my daughter and Grandaughter dearly but it was the longest two,weeks of my life before they found alternative accommodation. I know the idea of a puppy to grow up with your kids is appealing, but Labradors are large dogs and can easily knock of a toddler with a wag of their tail. However, I congratulate you on seeking advice before plunging ahead. With such a forward looking, common sense attitude you will make a great mum.
It's hard to want a dog and not be able to make it work. It took me a long time to be in the best position. I am sorry to say that it wouldn't be fair on the puppy. i think you will be so involved with your baby that you will look back and feel happy that you decided not to have a puppy at the same time. Good luck with the baby!
hhmmm.....is it only me that wonders just how hard it can be? *puts on hard hat ready to be beaten up by people who know anything about human babies......* I mean, I worked full time when I had a new pup, and managed (with a lot of help to cover the periods when I was out of the house). People have new babies when they have other small children to look after....people have 2 new babies at a time, or even 3 or 4 sometimes... Sure, a puppy needs a fair bit of attention, but it's not like it's a full time job - it's not all THAT hard to look after a new puppy. Particularly if you have them in a crate plus pen arrangement so you don't have to keep getting up at night. I would have thought, with a properly arranged house, and being super organised (and back up cover for emergencies - but everyone needs that really), puppy pens on lino around the place, it would be perfectly possible to look after one 2 legged baby, and a 4 legged one. Particularly if you are at home all day with nothing else to do. *ducks*
Yeah...what is the big deal with all this human baby stuff? They just need feeding and cuddling and no doubt a bit of socialisation - just how much time can that take up? I bet they sleep the rest of the time. That can't take all day. You don't even have to take them out to the garden, for goodness sake, you just change nappies in the warm and dry....sounds like a doddle to me....
I used to think exactly the same. Then my sons came along - help! There is no exhaustion like it on the planet! It's not the 'work' work-wise they are much, much easier than puppies. (Like you say, pop a nappy on and you don't have to watch then again 'till the next feed) It's the emotional stuff that does you in. (And the lack of sleep, which lasted 3 years for us - with pups it's about 3 weeks) I would never never have a pup and small children, but some do and make it work. Our Boogie was about six when the kids came along - an ideal age, he was brilliant with them.
Presumably there are husbands/partners in the pictures being painted here? Not that you'd know it because no-one has mentioned them. No wonder having a baby is hard work for a woman when they are apparently expected to do it all alone.
Actually, and I'm sure that some people are going to lynch me for saying this, but a very good friend of mine had a baby last month and, other than having a bout of the baby blues, she keeps saying how easy it is.... she's showered and with a full face of make-up on every day (more than I am - I'm a right scruffbag and can barely swipe a bit of lippy on if we're going somewhere posh!) and is generally getting plenty of sleep. In her case, certainly, having a young baby hasn't been an issue. But, it's not long before the baby becomes a bit more mobile, and I think that's generally when the real difficulties arise. Also, two of my friends have had complicated births, and ended up having emergency C-sections. One was (despite being an emergency at the time), pretty routine. The other was horrific and both mum and baby were touch-and-go on life support for a week or so, both with multiple organ failure. In that second case, obviously a puppy would have just been pushed out of the equation and fobbed off on someone else to look after. That's an extreme example. But even in the first, my friend struggled with mundane tasks for a long while until her c-section had healed up. She wouldn't have been able to bend down to feed the puppy, to stroke it, etc and wouldn't have been able to cope with it jumping on her. I think there are just so many variables and it's a situation fraught with worry, physical issues and hormones that it's not worth adding another level of complexity to the situation. I don't "do" kids and don't understand how they turn perfectly rational human beings into ... well, parents, but another thing that I have seen in all the people around me who have had babies is their total and utter devotion to them and the ridiculous amount of love they seem to have. In those early days, it is to the exclusion of almost all others. I'm not sure that there would be the resources to have the same eyes for a puppy at the same time, which is a huge shame because having a puppy in itself should be a momentous thing. That's what I reckon, anyway
Haha, indeed. Actually, four days after her baby was born, that friend who said it was easy still hadn't changed a single nappy; in the hospitals here, the fathers are made to do all the care for the baby while the mother "rests". A normal stay is four days in hospital after the birth, if it is completely routine. When I popped round to see the wrinkly thing, it was him that took her and gave her a bath. But that's part of my point from above. He was just as besotted with the baby as she was. If he wasn't, then maybe he could have been the one doing the puppy thing, but he only had eyes for his sparkly new daughter
Yes my OH was there and gave me tremendous support when our first was born 4 weeks prematurely, which resulted in a 12 day stay in hospital while baby's blood count with jaundice became worse and worse. I also had to survive 3 hourly feeds (breastfeeding, not bottle) for the first 4 weeks and then reducing to 6 feeds a day, and with some luck a few hours of sleep! He was also there when our second was born, with very little trauma apart from when our son came down with gastro-enteritis with a week old baby in the house. At that time I could only be grateful for my mum who ended up washing 3 sets of bedding and numerous clothing changes within a couple of hours. No I could not have managed a puppy as well, regardless of the level,of support I received and do not regret waiting until I had the time to spend with a puppy without all the distractions that families can raise.
Gosh when I had my first son he used to scream and scream and scream until he was sick if you put him down at all for the first six weeks of his life. Quite literally he was touching either myself or my OH continuously for six weeks. Son no.2 was much easier, a total breeze in fact, until he hit 8 weeks old and decided to try and die on us with viral encephalitis resulting in a 10 day stay in hospital with either myself or OH permanently in hospital with him (he's fine now by the way, no long term effects at all). The thought of trying to have a puppy during any of that makes my blood run cold......
Babies are hard work and puppies are hard work. Babies tend to stay where you put them for a good few months, pups don't. Pups can be put in a crate and left babies can't apparently . I personally wouldn't do it but then I wouldn't have babies only puppies. However my friend did a very similar thing to what you are thinking about doing. They got a rescue dog. A staffi cross puppy called Trevor. Before the baby arrived they house trained Trevor and also taught him not to pick things up unless told and a few other things that would make life easier as baby got older. They may have been lucky Trevor was a very laid back pup and easy going. My friend went on to have another two babies each baby twelve months apart so she had three babies under three and a young dog !!! Trevor, I'm pleased to say, was very much part of the family and didn't miss out on attention or exercise in anyway. In fact when first baby was three months they sold up in London and toured Europe in a caravan for the summer, baby, Trevor and all, came back up north and had baby number two while renovating an old Georgian house that had once been a vets. Mad maybe but it can be done. My advice if you go for it choose the puppy carefully it's temperament could make life easy or hard. Good luck
Hahaha! I do wonder why people choose to have kids. I'm glad there are lots of people out there that do, though. Means I don't have to feel guilty about not
Well I have to say that this thread has totally reaffirmed my decision not to have kids....! Very happy being an indulgent Aunty. OP, I hope this thread hasn't been too traumatic to read. I'm sure your baby will be of the quiet and angelic kind. My brother and his partner had their first bub 6 months ago and she's been an absolute breeze, a total delight, a take-anywhere baby and a fantastic sleeper. May you have the same experience
Hmm good job you ducked Do you think you could work full time have a baby and work an evening job soldering PCBs until 1.00 am, take in a lodger, do his washing and ironing to make ends meet, be up at 5.30 am and be on the M4 by 7.00 am with your baby and finally return home at the earliest 6.00 pm with your baby if you were left in the unenviable position of being a single Mum? That's without housework, cooking, washing, ironing and squeezing in quality time with your baby. Believe me a full time job is a doddle even with a puppy in those circumstances. xx
Wow, you must have been absolutely shattered working two jobs, doing extra jobs for the lodger and looking after a baby. You definitely deserve an award as a mum in a million . Puppies are a doddle in comparison . xx
