January of this year, I was compelled to say goodbye to my gorgeous Casper, who left his distraught Daddy behind on 10.01.14. Having noticed that Cas would stop suddenly whilst we were out walking, and it would be all I could do to get him home again, examinations by our Vet lead to a referral to a specialist Canine Neurological Unit in Surrey; there he was diagnosed with an inoperable tumour on T5, on his spine, he only had 2 weeks at most! He was one month shy of his 7th. birthday, he was still so young! I still cannot accept his loss, it feels so unjust!, to be deprived of virtually half of his life, what had my loving, loyal, intelligent, caring little boy done to deserve that! I live each day, content only in the knowledge, that each day, brings me closer to being reunited with my gorgeous little angel! Sincerest Regards to all!
Re: My darling Casper I am so so sorry to hear about your loss. It really is such a traumatic time. But please, you are not alone. Come here anytime to chat to us, don't go through this on your own. I know how traumatic it is to lose your best friend. Life can be very cruel. Sending you hugs and lots and lots of support.
Re: My darling Casper I am so, so, sorry to hear this - it must have been terrible for you. But, even though his life was shorter than you hoped, it sounds like you and Casper loved each other very much. That counts for such a lot. Well, it counts for everything really. Tell us more about Casper - what did you like to do together? Do you have any photos you could post (only if you feel up to it of course).
Re: My darling Casper Hi there. we would love to hear more about Casper. sorry you are suffering from his loss, it must be so hard. as Julie says....we would love to see a photo if you are able :'(
Re: My darling Casper So very sorry to read of your loss . It really does help to write about our lost pets , a good release of emmotions . I too have lost a young dog, its so unfair but try to remember the life that he had and that he was so loved .
Re: My darling Casper I felt so sad reading about the too soon loss of your beloved dog, I am sorry. I lost one due to epilepsy just after his 8th birthday and it seems so unfair that they had to die so young. We have to comfort ourselves that they have no knowledge of their death and if their life was well lived until that tragic moment, they would have been happy. It is we who are left who mourn for what might have been and to miss our beloved dogs. They, fortunately only knew happiness.
Re: My darling Casper Casper,what a lovely name,I can tell you loved him very,very much and I can totally understand that. Please don't be sad alone,although I haven't myself there are many forum members who have experienced the loss of a wonderful dog ,so come and talk to us when you are feeling low,you will always find an understanding,friendly ,compassionate ear. My parents lost a dog at 4 to a brain tumour....I understand you feeling cheated ,it really isn't fair. My very best wishes Angela xxx
Re: My darling Casper Thank you, Thank you for your so helpful comments! I know its almost 4 months now, there are some days, when I think I am coping (I can laugh and joke with the family and friends), and then it hits me like an express train! I refuse to throw away his bed (an old chewed up duvet cover), because it's covered in Casper's hair, fur I mean; I have also kept most (well I actually mean all!), of his toys, the last toy bone I bought him complete with his teeth marks, his collars and I.D. Tags (especially the collar and tag I had to take off him in Surrey!), plus his food and water bowls. My wife has said that I ought to throw them away, but this is one of the few cases, where, I have "warned", my wife not to touch them (If God Forbid, my wife were to throw any of these items away, we'd probably end up having a heated discussion (I have told my wife, that these, tangible things, are all that I have that still connects me to my Casper!) On one of my walls, there is still a small stain, where Casper had laid down after coming in from the rain, and I refuse to wipe it off because, I can kid myself that Casper is still around! (Actually, I am confidently sure that he is, but that is another story!) Sorry, I have inadvertently removed some pictures of my Casper, that I was experimenting with posting earlier, I will seek to correct this error, after all, I so enjoy looking at other peoples posts! Sorry again!, I keep talking about "My Casper", and implying that I am the only one that is grieving, when my wife is suffering just as much, as are the rest of my family! Casper, was (and he still is to me), a central part of our family (well to me, Casper was/is The Centre of our family!), but I am the one that is struggling to come to terms with this Brave New "Casper-less" World!, and this cold new reality seems so unforgiving! Going out to the shops or supermarket, is hard strangely enough, because, everywhere I walk, because I have previously walked it with Casper, reminds me of Casper! Sorry, I am rambling, thank you again.
Re: My darling Casper Bless you, and your deep, deep love for Casper. I can almost feel how much you loved him, and how much you miss him. If keeping his things make you feel better, then keep them. But Casper is in your heart, not in his things, and your heart is the only right and proper place for a good dog to rest, and that will never change. 4 months is no time, but time does help - it really does, and you will start to feel better, and be able to remember the good times without so much sadness. What is your happiest memory of Casper? A favourite walk? Cuddles in the evening?
Re: My darling Casper So very, very sorry you lost your special friend Casper. You had a very special bond and all your lovely memories to cherrish. Thinking about you and keep talking, we are all here to listen. If it makes you feel better to keep Casper's things then do so. You are in my thoughts and I feel heart broken for you and your family xx :'(
Re: My darling Casper I'm so terribly sorry :'( What a dreadful loss. We lost a beloved dog over a year ago. Like you, there's no way I can throw out anything associated with him either. I feel sad even vacuuming my car as a bit of his fur goes with it. I understand completely that you have left the stain on the wall where it is. Our old boy used to get cream cheese in his Kong and in our freezer we still have his last container of cream cheese, almost empty. I reckon it'll still be in the freezer in 40 years. The grief is terrible. Big hug. You're not rambling at all. Say whatever you want as we all understand here and we'd love to hear more about your beautiful boy.
Re: My darling Casper Hi, I'm so sorry to hear about Casper and I fully understand how you are feeling as we lost our fantastic boy on 15 February. I think about him every day, he was 16 years old and we got him when he was 8 weeks, so he was totally the centre of our family. I have never felt loss like it when he went, it was unbearable. We will never forget our boys, we are both very lucky to have had them as part of our family xxxxx
Re: My darling Casper I have kept the squeaky toy my beloved dog played with the night before she died and no-one must touch it, I also keep the rest of the treats that the vet gave me as we put my other beloved dog to sleep. There is nothing wrong in keeping Casper's things until/if you feel it is right to perhaps put some away. We must all grieve in our own way, we loved out dogs and it is painful when they leave us, they loved us and we remember them, they can never be forgotten. xx
Re: My darling Casper So sorry to hear of your loss, it's so hard to say goodbye. In time the worst of the sadness will pass and you will be able to have the memories without so much of the grief. In the meantime, take care of yourself and give yourself the time you need to grieve.
Re: My darling Casper You are so right, you have hit the nail right on the head, I was privileged! I was 47 when my wife suggested buying a dog, I have always been a dog-lover, we had dog-sat for my step-daughter, which did not bother me too much, because, I knew that at the end of a certain period of time,we would be giving the dog back. I really didn't think I was missing anything, with out wishing to sound too arrogant! And then Casper came in to my life, and my little boy turned my life upside down! Whatever I thought I knew about, Love, Life, Loyalty etc., Casper taught me that although I was nearly 50 years old, I did not have a clue! He Loved Me without conditions (you've heard all this before I'm sure), and no disrespect to my wife, he opened a door in to my heart, where I didn't even know I had a door! In the 6 years and 11 months, I was granted the privilege of living and knowing my little boy, Casper taught me the true meaning of Love, from its Olympian highs to its infernal diametric opposite (which is what I am going through right now!). I am sure I can understand how a mother feels now, when she experiences the loss of a child! It's funny, 50 y/o and I thought I knew all I needed to know about life, and along comes my little boy and teaches me, that everything I thought I knew about Love was wrong! It's spontaneous, profoundly intuitive, it involves feelings so deep that if you can describe them using words, then you haven't understood it, It is an Understanding between two members of different species, that does not require words; you can look at your dogs eyes and know instantly what they are thinking and why! It is indeed a privileged relationship, which I could only share for just under 7 years, and having had that door in my heart/soul opened, it cannot be closed again, and that is what hurts so very much. I would much prefer physical pain than this enforced pain of separation! You are lovely people, whose experience and advice I value more than I can put in to words. You too have experienced what I/we (Sorry I keep putting me, when my wife is suffering also), are going through right now--- it just hurts so very much! I'm rambling again, I should have gone to bed ages ago, sorry!, but thank you!
Re: My darling Casper What you have written is so lovely, and I for one can relate to all of it. How wonderful that you did not go through your whole life without knowing all the things that we can learn from a close relationship with a dog.
Re: My darling Casper Hi, I have just said hello on the other thread and I have just been reading this one. I still have my Labrador's collar, from when I took him to the vet to be put to sleep. I was 14 and that was 40 years ago and I have always felt guilty about it. It's only recently that I have begun to think that it was a lot for me to do at 14 and have started to feel less guilty. I think you should keep what ever you want for as long as you want. You are grieving and this has been a terrible time for you.
Re: My darling Casper I absolutely recognise what you write when I look at my boy. It's so hard, these dogs that we love so much have shorter lives - and Casper's was shorter than it should have been. This pain goes with loving them so, so, much. It's a hard price to pay for the time we have with them.
Re: My darling Casper Although I had to cry myself to sleep last night (not for the first or probably the last time!), at one point, I could not help but smile, as memories of my little black furry angel's antics, started to flood my memory! I would be sat in my armchair, either watching TV or talking to my wife and/or mother-in-law, and my hand would be drooping down the side of the chair, when a cold wet nose, would gently, and I mean gently, touch the side of my hand. I would turn around, and Cas would be stood there, with one of my socks in his mouth!; he would take a few steps back taunting me with his eyes "If you want your sock, you're going to have to get it the hard way!" Experience had taught me that, if I just shot off the chair and gave chase, there was only ever going to be one winner, and it wasn't going to be me! If I caught him, then Cas would assume I wanted to play tug of war with my sock! So I would slowly drop to the floor, on all fours, drop my head down, so that first I was supported by my elbows, Cas would do the same, I would drop my head almost to the floor, Cas would then lower his head to the floor!; I would inch slowly towards him commando style, Cas's eyes would look me up and down, the famous labrador bum-wiggle would commence, tail would be wagging furiously, and just when I thought I was close enough to reach out and grab my sock.................. Well put it this way, I was always buying socks, and they all had to be identical, because, although I only live in a small flat, there is a labrador created Bermuda triangle, where a lot of my socks have simply "disappeared", and funnily enough, it was always my stuff that mysteriously found its way in to Casper's mouth, never his mum's or his nan's! On another occasion, Casper would have decided that I had laid in bed for long enough, and it was time for me to get up! It was how he did it that tickled me!, he would stealthily climb on to the bed, being so careful not to disturb his mom, who was sound asleep next to me, and he would slowly, and with great precision, position himself on top of me, such that the entire length of his outstretched body, lay along the length of my own, whether I was lying on my side or my back. Now having 36kg. of pure love and fun, pin you, so that you are totally immobilized, on to the mattress, first thing in the morning, when you are barely awake, beats any alarm clock! Of course, whilst you are pinned to the mattress, you are showered with love and kisses, and there is not a damn thing you can do about it!, and you know what, just like following my sock retrieval procedure, I loved and enjoyed every second of every minute of it all! As you know with your own dogs, there is so much more to tell, and I have to reconcile myself to the fact that none of this is going to happen anymore! Casper, you are so painfully missed!
