My dog acts like she's my owner. Help!!

Discussion in 'Labrador Training' started by Abby6, Apr 19, 2017.

  1. Abby6

    Abby6 Registered Users

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    Piper is 11 months old and has always been mischievous and has always tested my patience. (After doing a lot of research on here I figured out that is most lab puppies, not just mine- thank goodness!!) I have tried to train her to behave and mind but I have failed miserably numerous times. I was honestly just hoping she would grow out of it...

    Well now she is almost a year old and she has gotten more of an attitude over the last few months. When I tell her no or scold her she will bark at me and snap her mouth at me. She has never gotten aggressive with me at all, and I for the most part think that she is thinking I'm playing with her. (A side effect of my failed training attempts I'm presuming) She also will just walk up to me when I'm sitting or laying down and just sit on me. She does this with my boyfriend too. We will be laying in bed with her and she will come up and just sit on us. She is still as wild as ever and is still constantly into everything.

    She also gets aggressive with dogs when she plays. There are 3 other dogs in the home and two of them are small dogs. She will chase them, torment them, and sometimes even attack them if they get too close to me. The other dog is bigger than her and they get along great. They play and wrestle, but their playing gets rough too.

    As you can tell I have my hands full with her and I'm just wondering if anyone else has had these problems. Will she grow out of any of these behaviors? Especially getting into everything and being hyper 24/7. Any advice is greatly appreciated!!
     
  2. Joy

    Joy Registered Users

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    How much time do you spend with her, taking her for walks and playing with her? It sounds as though she needs more involvement with you. Labs are big, energetic dogs and thrive on interaction with their humans.
     
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  3. Boogie

    Boogie Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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  4. Harley Quinn

    Harley Quinn Registered Users

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    Harley sits on us, she also leans on us if she sits next to us. So be honest though, it isn't an issue for us, I actually like it. Are you doing any training with her, like clicker training? If I think about how well Harley has responded to training and how much she enjoys learning new things I am almost sure I would be able to get her to sit next to us, instead of on us, if I was so inclined. But Harley is a calm pup so I don't have the exasperation you do and we are complete novices at owning a dog so I really can't give you any valuable advice. Good luck.
     
  5. Emily_BabbelHund

    Emily_BabbelHund Longest on the Forum without an actual dog

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    My first reaction to your post title was, "Yeah, of course she owns you - join the club!" :D

    But not to make light of your situation at all, it does sound like you are quite frustrated. Honestly, most of it sounds like stroppy teenager behaviour. There's a reason a lot of dogs get abandoned at the 11-14 month old mark - they can be a pain in the posterior at that age. And that is all large breeds - I've never had a Lab but that behaviour sounds oh-so-familiar.

    I agree with @Joy that she sounds like she could use some 1x1 time with you. I had a puppy along with two other dogs and the temptation to let them get their ya-yas out by playing with the others is SO huge. The problem that I had was that my puppy then learned more from the other dogs than he was learning from me. In your case, she's learned to play rough with them, so why not "play rough" (her point of view) with you as well? Also I felt my dog took longer to bond with me as a team/partner because he bonded to my female adult dog first and strongest. On the other hand, she was such a huge help in keeping him a happy and never bored puppy and they were great companions, so it's a tough call.

    I don't know if that's what is happening in your case, but just an idea?
     
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  6. 20180815

    20180815 Guest

    My dog does as well, he loves to parade around us, sit on us, lean on us...we find it endearing and funny.
     
  7. QuinnM15

    QuinnM15 Registered Users

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    Quinn snaps her teeth at us (and on rare occasions barks) when she is frustrated/bored...she first started in our first training class around age 5 months when she was waiting for us to do something (and she was supposed to settle). Now, she is 16 months and snaps when she wants something (mainly for us to play with her) and sometimes during play interspersed with sneezing. I usually find she does it on days that she isn't stimulated enough. For example, yesterday evening was the first time she snapped her teeth in ages and she spent the day going on errands with OH (so probably a lot of sitting in stores and slow walking) and only a shorter mid day walk, so when I got home she let me know she wanted my attention! We played some tug and went on a solo walk.

    I think the leaning/sitting on is pretty common lab behaviour. We don't have such a lab (no matter how we try, we have a non-cuddler), but we know a lab like that and we take it as affection and wanting to be close to her people.
     
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  8. charlie

    charlie Registered Users

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    She sounds a little bored, could you do some training sessions with her throughout the day, you could teach her to settle on a mat if you don't want her getting up and sitting on you. There are so many things you can do to help her calm down by using her brain as well as enough physical exercise. Clicker training is another thing that dogs love and is fun for owners :) She is almost a year old so things won't change if you don't train her in a positive way to learn the behaviours you want, especially as you have 2 other dogs. You could do some 121 with her and eventually add the other dogs. I do separate training with my 2 and then together so they understand when it's the other ones turn :)
     
  9. Abby6

    Abby6 Registered Users

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    Thanks for all of the feedback! I work and am in college so it's hard some days to find time to take her to the park or to take her on a long walk. I do as much as I can with her as often as I can but some days I will work 4 days in a row and then have homework after. Does anyone think she will calm down in the next year? She turns 1 next month.
     
  10. snowbunny

    snowbunny Registered Users

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    She won't calm down if she's bored. You have to prioritise your dog's care, and that means she needs at least one walk (preferably two or more) every single day. If you don't have the time, you need to arrange someone else to help out, either as a favour or a paid professional. I work very long hours and have a wealth of other things that take up my time and my three dogs all get walked at least twice every day, so I'm afraid I don't buy that as a valid reason.
     
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  11. Abby6

    Abby6 Registered Users

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    I'm very glad that you have the time to get all of those things done in a day! I simply came to this forum asking for advice, which is what it is for. I'm in my senior year of college and have a larger course load then I did when I adopted my pup, so I am having a hard time juggling it all. Which is why I was asking for advice on things that can be done to calm her down. When I get home it is dark and I don't live in a neighborhood where I can walk her after dark. I also don't have the means to hire someone to walk her throughout the day. I walk her as often as I can. When I finish school in a few months things will be different, but I was asking for helpful advice in the meantime. As a forum supporter I would think that you would be a little more sensitive to owners asking for advice instead of trying to be the judge of whether someone is actually busy or not. But thank you!
     
  12. Chococheer

    Chococheer Registered Users

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    Again, perhaps, this is a little clash of cultures (I don't know where you're located). This is a predominantly UK forum, and the members have very strong views on appropriate care for their pets (Labs).

    I, however, can empathise with your position. When I bought my first Lab I had three very young children, a job on the side, and a husband who was never home (and no family available/support). I didn't do as much walking and training as I should have, but he eventually became a beautiful companion despite my many mistakes and lack of one-on-one time.

    I would suggest if you can't find the time to walk him, short training sessions (5 - 10 minutes) as often as you can. Do just the basics such as sit, stay, lie down, shake hands, etc. - believe it or not, these sorts of "games" also tire them.

    Walk him around your backyard (if you have one) on a leash and play chasey games with treats as and when you have a little time to spare.

    I'd also suggest Kongs (buy them and fill them) and puzzle bowls - these make getting his food a little more difficult so will also require more time and effort on his behalf to eat his food.

    Good luck and don't give up hope. Walk him as often as you can in addition to the other tips and hopefully he'll calm a little for you.
     
  13. Harley Quinn

    Harley Quinn Registered Users

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    @Abby6, in all due consideration to your studies and curriculum there are many of us that have very busy professional and personal lives on this forum. I am currently busy working full time and completing a PhD. I have also completed a coursework masters with distinction, so I really get what it takes to try and balance home and academics. But really, where there is a will there is a way - not to sound corny. We don't walk our pup twice a day, instead we break it up into a walk, outside retrieve and play time and a number of clicker training/trick sessions during our time with our dog. I tend to sit in front of my lap top and read or write for hours. It is good for both me and Harley to have a 15 minute clicker or ball throwing break. I do a lot of public speaking so when I walk Harley I will often rehearse some of what I want to say, yes I am talking to myself but it is a professional hazard, we are all supposed to be a bit odd anyway. And when I want to immerse myself in work, DH takes his shifts. I have written on this forum about how I try to find the balance in my life between all the things that are important to me, including my relationship, career and pets. You are in your senior year of college, you have time management down pat by now and I am sure you can break your time for your dog into manageable bits throughout your day or evening. What you are doing right now isn't working for you as well as you would like, so you need to change something up. I know you are exhausted mentally but try thinking of it as developing or refreshing a new neural pathway, if nothing else:) Good luck.
     
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  14. JenBainbridge

    JenBainbridge Registered Users

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    It's hard work having a dog - they take up a lot of time. And I understand when you're busy sometimes it's really hard to find the time.

    Today for example, I got up at 6.30. Then took the dog for a walk, went to work for 9 hours, came home, took Stanley to the vets, cooked tea, then took the dog for a walk again. It's now 9.30 and this is the first proper "sit" I've had all day. And I'll do it all again tomorrow.

    I could've quite easily skipped the second walk but Stanley is now sat on my knee, snuggled up asleep (and he's the same age roughly as your pup). If I hadn't taken him for that second walk, he'd be running round my front room like a Tasmanian devil because he'd have unspent energy and be bored. So it's worth forcing myself up to take him out.

    If he went a full day without a walk I can't even imagine the whirlwind running round it house.

    You've just got to get into the routine now. You've said you're finishing school in a few months and things will be different. Speaking from experience, its much harder to find time when you're working 40-50 hours a week. I had much more free time when I was studying for my degree.
     
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  15. Joy

    Joy Registered Users

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    You've asked how to help your dog calm down, and the answer most are giving is to spend more time with him. My life as a retired person is pretty idyllic now , but for years and years I got up at 5.30 a.m. so that I had time to walk my previous dogs before work, and again in the evening. And I managed to do an MA while working full-time.
    I didn't have time for much else, but then I'd chosen to have a dog, it wasn't something I had to do.

    I think if you look honestly at your time, there would be ways of building in time for your dog.
     
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  16. snowbunny

    snowbunny Registered Users

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    I believe my advice was helpful; you need to spend more time with your dog or get someone else to do it for you. You chose to have a dog, she didn't choose to have you, so it's your responsibility to care for her appropriately, which means giving her the exercise and mental stimulation she needs. Otherwise, behavioural issues arise, as you've found.
    "As often as I can" obviously isn't cutting it; you need to do more, or risk the behaviour you dislike at best continuing and at worse escalating.

    These are very basic requirements of care, up there with being able to afford veterinary care and food. They should not be considered optional to fit around your schedule, as tough as that may be.

    Being a forum supporter simply means I paid the subs, it has nothing to do with sensitivity. But you're quite welcome!
     
  17. JulieT

    JulieT Registered Users

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    Quite possibly I am the only one getting a bit annoyed at the 'this is a UK forum and they are a bit nuts' type comments. :D:D:D

    You really have to appreciate that we don't think we are a bit nuts. We think you (not you in particular, but generally) are a bit nuts for saying 'oh, you know, I work, I have college, so I have to leave my dog alone all day and don't JUDGE me for that because all I wanted was advice and it's SO unfair you should say anything mean to me....whine, whinge, moan etc.'

    This, exactly.
    .'
     
  18. Chococheer

    Chococheer Registered Users

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    To be perfectly frank, whilst I don't think you're "a bit nuts", I do feel some of you go a little overboard - take you yourself for example, you compared taking children to a restaurant/café/pub to that of taking your dog(s) in terms of what the public should tolerate/accept in another thread. I would imagine quite a significant number of people would consider that quite an unusual analogy.
     
  19. Abby6

    Abby6 Registered Users

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    If you all would actually read the post I made instead of attacking me for no apparent reason then you would have known that this isn't a permanent arrangement. When I adopted my pup I was able to take her on multiple walks a day, and I will be able to again in a couple of months. As I said before, I was looking for advice for my current situation. I'm very happy that you all in the U.K. can sit on this forum all day and walk your dogs. Some of us aren't in the same situation. So for the people attacking me and saying I'm whining, I'm sorry that you are unaware of any other lifestyles other than your own. Maybe you should get out more. To Chococheer, thank you for understanding and seeing the point of the forum. I've posted on this forum many times seeking advice and I have never been treated this way.
     
  20. Oberon

    Oberon Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    I didn't see Julie's post in the other thread but I too expect exactly the same from children and dogs in pubs and cafes. I expect them both to sit or lie quietly at all times. If children wish to use a chair that's fine. :D
     
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