My latest guest star: Tibor the Border Collie (or "How I Became a Seeing-Eye Human")

What a horrible, manipulative person.

 

Personality disorder? Or just a git?

 

I think that sums it up perfectly. Grr.

Well, that's how we've worked the other times that we've passed Tibi back and forth for my surgery and trips to Munich. I'm not really sure what the head of rescue thinks she's playing at as she knows foster mom #2 and I are in direct contact. I don't see the point in lying to me...poor Tibi still has to go somewhere and I would have found out (as I did) that mom #2 didn't agree to anything. It's so weird.

I don't really think she thinks that way or that that she gets anything out of it in that sense. She is far better than I ever would have guessed at laying on the guilt trip. But mainly I think she just doesn't think ahead and acts in the moment. I mean, last week she found an injured pigeon in a parking lot and took it home to her one bedroom apartment, with her five cats and four dogs and said she was going to adopt it because her cats really loved it. Really? How is that going to work? As a friend of mine is fond of saying, "I'm sure the cats loved it....for DINNER!". I found out earlier in the week that she's put another foster dog with her best friend, who because of her living situation has never taken a foster dog. This best friend is also a good friend of mine and when I talked to her I said flat out, "You in danger, girl" (well, the German version of the Woopi Goldburg classic line from "Ghost") because that dog now won't be going anywhere for a good long while.

So no, I don't think she's a psychopath, she just thinks of the animals first and the humans dead last. That's not so atypical in rescue.

But thanks to you all for the support. It helps to be able to vent and hear back what to me are "normal reactions" here ...otherwise I start to feel that I'm surrounded by the crazy!

 

I should also soften my ranting here by saying that I still admire all the sweat and tears that she puts into rescue. It's hard and heart wrenching work and she saves lives. Her motivations are good even if the execution sometimes stinks. She helped me with Brogan when I first got my cancer diagnosis, so I will be forever grateful for that.

Right now, I'm just kind of done and want to extricate myself from my current situation with the minimum of damage and never, ever take another foster from her again.

 

I hate to tell you but you are surrounded by crazy people

 

I'm hard-hearted. I love dogs but I don't believe every stray is rescuable (capable of becoming a valued member of a family). It sounds to me that a dog which whines and paces constantly, is blind, and urinates virtually everywhere will be a very difficult fit (for anywhere and/or anyone).

You're a much better person than I, Emily - that poor old boy would have been gone from my house within 24 hours.

And as for the woman in charge - the vocabulary I would generally use in regard to a person of that nature isn't appropriate for this forum.

 

What a dick! What was her plan for poor Tibi - and the poor foster #2?! At least you know you have an "out", and I think you do right not to be involved with fostering for her again. It's so sad, because I'm sure you're a massive asset to the rescue, and that's being lost because of poor communication and people management.

I'm a bit concerned that Emily considers anyone here to be normal

 

Sometimes friendships go though rough patches where one person's views/demands/ideas/ threaten to destroy that friendship - maybe in time, when you've had a break from Tibi, rescues, and spent some time away from it all in a new country, you will be able to have some sort of newer, different relationship with her on better terms that isn't dependent on you fostering her rescue dogs.
Or maybe not, but it sounds like you do have some history with her (am trying to be a bit positive)

 

Well, there's GOOD crazy, too!

 

Not saying I'm a big asset, but just agreeing that this is actually why the situation has become dire - the pool of foster homes has shrunk to nearly nothing in the last year or so. One super young woman who for years had a foster dog and joined the weekend walking group has very politely extricated herself entirely from both fostering and the walking group. I really liked her and her dogs and wondered what happened to make it all go sideways...now I think I know. It's a shame.

But it's not put me off fostering, just for this particular group. I am looking forward to a break, though. My brain is already driving away to the UK despite having over a week to go.

Labratour and beach, here I come. Now if I could just concentrate on work a little while longer.

 

I do actually think he could find a permanent home, even if it is only a permanent foster. I never want to say "never" because I've seen a couple dogs from Spain where I thought, "There is no human who will take that dog", but they got adopted and their new families are delighted with them, even if they admit that there are some big challenges. But yeah, it's going to be tough call for Tibi, that's for sure.

 

I'm just so sorry for you Emily, it's always the people with big hearts that get used and abused xxx

 

Well I think that sums it up!

 

"Quelle surprise", what a shock - I've not been able to reach foster mom #2 by phone yet despite repeated attempts. Frankly, I don't blame her one iota. I'd be hiding under a rock too, in her position.

I do really want to talk to her before I go back to the rescue head, because if she says "no" I want to respect that and not have the rescue head try to guilt her into it. Mom #2 had Tibi for two months - I, more than anyone, understand than she's more than done her bit in this whole story. If she says no, I want to put on a united front for the rescue head.

My quandary is that my loudly-proclaimed deadline is 1 September, which is of course tomorrow. Do I go to the rescue head and say that mom #2 isn't taking him before talking to mom #2? Then I can only imagine the phone call poor mom #2 is going to get about 2 seconds after I send the text to the rescue head.

On the other hand, I drew my line in the sand and don't want to build a happy little sandcastle there instead. I can technically keep Tibi until next Friday (I'm driving to Calais staring early Saturday) BUT I've pushed off a lot of preparation until the week I thought he'd be gone, so that pretty much means he would spend 80% of next week alone in his crate. That's not fair to him and I don't know how he'll react. I've only left him a couple times more than 15 minutes and even then for an hour or two max.

What a mess!

My no-nonsense German friend and I had a pub evening last night and she says I should just tie Tibi to rescue head's front door, ring the bell and then run away as soon as she answers. Of course I'm not doing that to Tibi, but it's still a tempting idea! She also says if I'm ever so stupid to take another foster dog from the same person, she will not be listening to any of it if it goes wrong because if I'm that stupid twice, I deserve what I get. Yes, she is a bit blunt...but she's not wrong.

 

What a mess, it makes me so cross for you! I would send #2 a message with what you've said above - that, if she doesn't want him, you'd like to preset that united front, so can you just have a chat?
Don't let up on your schedule, otherwise it will just get more stressful for you, and that will affect Tibi. You have given plenty of notice, it's her responsibility to sort out the mess at her end.

Your blunt friend is very wise

 

I agree with @snowbunny. Make sure you stick to your deadline.

 

I agree with the others enough is enough time to get on with your life. Anyone would think you don't want a pup of your own

 

Yes, I total agree with the other members.

Keep to it and DO NOT let her bully you, I have told you before you are just too nice.

 

Yeah, she's a hoot - suffers no fools (or whatever the expression is). She's Fine the Off Road Chihuahuas's human. It's rather hysterical how much her dog is like her and vice versa. She's also completely immersed in 1930's style (clothes, hair, glasses), so just imagine Louise Brooks shouting me down in an Irish pub while waving a Bulmer's around and simultaneously chatting up the Australian bartender. It was very entertaining.

Yep, I already did that and no reply since last night. She could be unable to answer due to some other reason - it happens. But like I said, no shade - if I were her, I wouldn't be keen to answer me either.

Oh, ouch! Wounded! You know how to motivate me!

Thanks again for the support - I know all this is getting really old to hear about and if Tibi wasn't a living creature with feelings (say, if he was instead a particularly troublesome footstool) I would have dumped him back on the rescue head weeks ago. But alas, he's not, and I don't want him to suffer for all the human nonsense going on around him. Even if I do want to clock him on his head when pees on my foot on a daily basis. Poor old guy, anyway.

 

Ditto xx