So I'm the main trainer, dog walker, carer etc in this house for Bob and he adores me.. follows me everywhere in the house. Usually it bothers me that's he's always under my feet but it's nice that he loves me so much really bless him Anyways... OH's son Jake comes to visit every so often and Bob literally goes nuts for him. When he's here, I'm not his favourite anymore.. he follows Jake everywhere... can't stop looking for him when he leaves the room. He doesn't love me as much as he loves Jake. Jake doesn't feed him, doesn't train him, doesn't walk him... he literally does nothing except play a little bit and give him some cuddles when he arrives. I DON'T GET IT?! I admit it I'm 100% jealous of the fact that Bob prefers Jake to me.... why is this? Is this rational on my part? I just invest SO much of my time with Bob.. and he bloody well ditches me for a visitor that arrives every other week... Just looking for some words of reassurance really, I feel like I can't be bothered with Bob if he can't be bothered with me.. which I know is silly as I'm his main carer. But I do find it very upsetting..
Re: OK this is REALLY bothering me Dogs love new things (well, my dog does anyway). And new people are fascinating. That's just the way it is. It's actually a training thing, and nothing whatsoever to do with love. It's not about what Bob prefers in terms of him loving this person, he just does what is rewarding to him - and paying attention to a new person is rewarding because it's interesting for him. So, if you want Bob to pay attention to you around distractions (a new person) you have to train him to do that. Bob won't do anything around distractions because he loves you...unfortunately. He'll still love you, of course, but love doesn't train a dog...
Re: OK this is REALLY bothering me It seems a bit mean to hog him though because OH's son doesn't visit that often and I don't want Bob sitting at my feet staring at me when Jake fancies some cuddles with Bob.. guess I'm gonna have to accept it really I guess. It does upset me though, but I have to think of how other people might feel if Bob didn't want to interact with them.... *goes off and sulks*
Re: OK this is REALLY bothering me I do find that a strange outlook that you, I quote "can't be bothered with Bob if he isn't bothered with me"! Of course he loves you, he just finds Jake new and exciting, I bet if you both went out and walked in separate directions, Bob would follow you, even if he went a way with Jake in first instance, he would suddenly turn and run to you I expect Jake makes a good deal of fuss with Bob and interacts with him, so he is like a new toy
Re: OK this is REALLY bothering me [quote author=drjs@5 link=topic=10290.msg151127#msg151127 date=1426972116] Maybe his feet smell...... [/quote] It's quite possible tee hee... I changed the bedding in Jake's room earlier today and it was chucking up a fair bit LOL! Bless him he's a lovely lad and doesn't visit his dad that often and it's nice when he's here. x
Re: OK this is REALLY bothering me [quote author=Stacia link=topic=10290.msg151128#msg151128 date=1426972184] I do find that a strange outlook that you, I quote "can't be bothered with Bob if he isn't bothered with me"! Of course he loves you, he just finds Jake new and exciting, I bet if you both went out and walked in separate directions, Bob would follow you, even if he went a way with Jake in first instance, he would suddenly turn and run to you I expect Jake makes a good deal of fuss with Bob and interacts with him, so he is like a new toy [/quote] Of COURSE I can be bothered with Bob, it just makes me feel a bit jealous I guess and I want to be his No.1 that's all. Today for example I was taking Bob out for a lead walk and we met Jake who'd taken my son to the park. Well Jake and my son carried on in one direction and we walked off in the other, and Bob literally refused to walk with me from that point on. He just kept turning round and trying to go the way the others had gone. In fact when we met them to start with he pulled towards Jake so hard that he broke his collar to get to him! So I think Jake would win if we both walked away in separate directions.. honestly! I'm on training session 4 of Total Recall though, so I WILL have the whistle working at some point!
Re: OK this is REALLY bothering me You are not looking at this the right way though. There is no rational reason why this should upset you. It's is nothing to do with how Bob feels about you. Actually, dog training would be a whole lot easier if it was about dogs loving their owners.... The thing is, it's not difficult to get a dog to follow you round and hang onto your every word/move when there is nothing else whatsoever to do...they are just bored, basically, and hoping for something interesting to happen. A dog responding to you when there are distractions around isn't anything to do with you being their No. 1....
Re: OK this is REALLY bothering me He will still love you best I can assure you ;D As he gets older the bond will grow and grow, he's a bit young yet and everything in the big wide world is exciting. I bet if you had let him go to Jake he would have done for so far, then remembered you and got anxious to find you again. Honestly you have no need to feel 'jealous' in any way ;D
Re: OK this is REALLY bothering me Yes Julie I know you are totally right... I'm looking at this through human emotions I know that.. it's silly really. Need to get into dog mentality LOL!
Re: OK this is REALLY bothering me Purely Jake's novelty value, as Julie said Try a change of perspective.... Try to take delight in seeing your beloved dog having a fun time with a human friend, and be grateful that he is sociable and people-oriented
Re: OK this is REALLY bothering me [quote author=Loopyloo30 link=topic=10290.msg151126#msg151126 date=1426972056] It seems a bit mean to hog him though because OH's son doesn't visit that often and I don't want Bob sitting at my feet staring at me when Jake fancies some cuddles with Bob.. guess I'm gonna have to accept it really I guess. [/quote] Yep! They are fickle monsters, but never mind - if OH's son were home permanently things would be very different. My brother stays with us 3 days a week, by day three he stops being the 'best thing ever' to the pooches ;D
Re: OK this is REALLY bothering me [quote author=Oberon link=topic=10290.msg151140#msg151140 date=1426975734] Purely Jake's novelty value, as Julie said Try a change of perspective.... Try to take delight in seeing your beloved dog having a fun time with a human friend, and be grateful that he is sociable and people-oriented [/quote] And when you get further on in total recall Jake will be perfect to practice with on calling Bob back to you.....maybe you can be the 'boring Person ' in the excercises previous to that ;D ;D ;D ;D I'm only joking Louise xxxx
