Pup heartache

Discussion in 'Labrador Puppies' started by Lza1, Aug 11, 2019.

  1. Lza1

    Lza1 Registered Users

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    We have a new lab pup & since bring it home my 6 yr old child (who is suffering from emotional issues & awaiting support from school) is desperately unhappy - she told me last night she feels the pup is taking me away from her & that although she loves pup she resents her and wishes we could take her back. She is also frightened of the pup - when it jumps up or runs after her. Her behaviour has got worse & to top it off I feel like it may have started to trigger my ptsd. We have two elderly cats too - who cower upstairs petrified of the pup (making me feel guilty & sad.) Feels at the moment like we’ve made the worst decision of our lives. So unhappy Just not sure what to do. Never even considered getting a pup would make my little one or myself so unhappy. My feeling is that I have to put her first & return the pup, but feel this is going to cause lots of emotional pain too. Any help on knowing when to rehome or what to do in this situation would be appreciated...
     
  2. Edp

    Edp Registered Users

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    Hello, puppies are hard work and time consuming. All these behaviours are normal. It takes time and patience to create a calm family dog which is I think what your aim is. My twins were 6 when I got Meg, I kept them apart for quite some months for the reasons you have. Pups will chase, bite and frighten kids, but when they grow out of this developmental stage it’s worth it. My boys and dog are just the best friends. You have to decide if you will invest in training your pup and if you can’t commit to that your problems will only get bigger so rehoming might be kinder. The dog and cats will settle down, as long as the cats can have a safe place to escape. It all takes time. Try and get to some positive classes, some let you take children along. There you can chat to others who are having the same experiences and you can get some advice on your issues. :)
     
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  3. Lza1

    Lza1 Registered Users

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    Thank you. I just feel overwhelmed at the moment. After one really successful night in the crate, pup howled all of last night. I know I’m suffering from the puppy blues, but just don’t know if I can ‘give’ anymore! Felt worn out by the kids - now feel like I’m running on empty. Not sure what to do.. Have puppy training class booked for this week, so will go and see what it’s like. If we return pup to the breeder we have also lost the money too. Can’t imagine it ever being a happy home again. Might be better to have our old life back. Thinking you want a dog & actually having one are completely different! Think we made the wrong choice for our family & struggling to see how a dog can add more positives than negatives to our lives at the moment
     
  4. Ruth Buckley

    Ruth Buckley Registered Users

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    I got my dog from a family with children - think the youngest was about 4. I can't imagine how they managed his crazy boisterous behaviour, it must have been really hard for them all, including the dog. Obviously lots of people do manage to have puppies and children successfully but I have to be honest and say it's almost certainly going to get worse before it gets better. Labs are big dogs who grow up faster physically than they do emotionally, I'd say mine was about 18 months old before I was remotely comfortable with children anywhere near him.
     
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  5. 5labs

    5labs Registered Users

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    Take her back while she is still young enough for the breeder to rehome.
     
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  6. J.D

    J.D Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    If you really feel like you can’t cope you should get in touch with the breeder. The sooner the puppy is returned the easier it will be for them to re home and kinder on the puppy. Good luck with your decision.
     
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  7. Lza1

    Lza1 Registered Users

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    It’s just such a hard decision. The pup is generally a good dog & I just don’t know if things will settle..
    Is this just sleep deprivation & the puppy blues? I don’t know if the cats will come round? Scared that if I give her back too quickly we haven’t given it the best shot. But also concerned that pup has a good life & can be rehomed easily if we need it :( Never thought it would be this hard.
     
  8. 5labs

    5labs Registered Users

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    The longer you keep her, the more unsettling it will be for her and the more difficult for the breeder and the new owner. If you are struggling now, you are not going enjoy her when she gets more difficult over the next 7 months.
    Please do the right thinkg for the puppy.
     
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  9. Lza1

    Lza1 Registered Users

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    Had a much better day. Don’t feel so overwhelmed or emotional. It is still hard work but in the 12 months of preparing for a puppy I never thought it would be a breeze!
    My daughters much calmer around pup too. She loves her & it’s now beginning to fall into place with the kids learning to turn away when pups jumping up & not to squeal or run away!!
    The cats have even come downstairs fleetingly. So there is hope.
    Think maybe it was all a shock for me & definitely think it was the puppy blues as in Pippas article (which was a massive support to me - just when I thought I was really losing the plot! Seems it is quite common to feel down at first.) https://www.thelabradorsite.com/how-to-beat-the-labrador-puppy-blues/
    Looking forward to starting training tomorrow & joining the gun-dog club in September. Glad I didn’t throw the towel in straight away. Taking each day as it comes whilst we learn about each other & build a bond.
     
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  10. WillowA

    WillowA Registered Users

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    I rehomed a Springer spaniel at 18 months old, her first home she was kept in a cage for 8 hours a day so a kind person persuaded them to sell her to them.
    They soon realised to take on a young dog wasn't working she was boisterous not trained and kept knocking the young children over.
    They gave her up to rescue.
    We got her home and soon realised she did not walk on a lead so started training her then when we let her off the lead she just ran accross 2 fields and refused to come back after trudging accross the fields she lay down it looked like she was afraid to come back as she thought she was going to be punished.
    I got a trainer to come out who gave me the lead back and said dont let this dog off the lead ever.
    She lived a very happy life with us until she died of cancer at 9yrs old.
    Take the dog back to the breeder while it's still young and trainable.
    Lollie my Springer didn't know how to bond we didn't exist when out with her don't let this happen again she missed out so much not being off the lead.
     
  11. Jo Laurens

    Jo Laurens Registered Users

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    A breeder should offer you a full refund if you haven't had the pup long, and a partial one if a bit older... This is all up for negotiation. As a very occasional breeder, I would far rather have a pup returned to me ASAP than a new home struggle along for ages without telling me and then return the pup much older. It is far harder to home older pups...

    I think, if it were just the puppy blues, I'd be encouraging you to stick with it. But if your daughter is responding in this way, I think it might be best to return the pup - for the pup's sake.
     

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