I am hungry and my hoomans forgot to take food out for my dinner today. I now have to wait even longer while they sort something out....really what is this Labrador world coming too....diets, no food..what is next - No walks or swims Vanilla
Whoops, I'm in trouble for playing with the cur-tins. Well I'm sorry Mum, I was just shaking them to see if any food fell out - this di-et is making me take drastik measures. Ripple
Ooooooh I just got a fishy dinner. Mum had been cooking it for ages but daddy said it smelt funny and wouldn't eat it. Mum said it was fine but dad said it smelt like the cat had peed on it. Maybe she did, maybe she didn't, I drop these hints to the cat but she's a grumpy old thing. Anyways, neither mum nor dad have eaten their fishy bake dinners so I got one!!!! Theres a funny atmosphere here now, why????? Mums drinking the stuff that makes her giggle and is eating crisps.
Mummy fell over last night. I didn't help her. I have to conserve what little energy I have which is her fault because of di-et Stanley
Daddy was at home all day yesterday. Apparently there was a really big Thunderstorm, no idea what Daddy means by that as I was fast a sleep on Daddy's pillow. It is veryveryveryvery comfy and smells off him...
I'm the cleverest Pig. I am not allowed to go in the log basket and bite the logs but I REALLY want to because STICKS. So, what I do is I play with my ball like a good pig, and I happen to be near the basket, and then suddenly I'm like 'Oopsie I dropped my ball in the log basket, what a clumsy pig I am!'. And then I have to go in the log basket to get my ball. And mum's like 'hmm ok get your ball but be quick' and I'm like 'oh no it's really hard to find its gone right under these logs, I'll just bite them to get to my ball' and mum's like and I'm like except with logs in my mouth and it is Pig 1 Mum Nil. Love, the Pig x
I think I like die-etts. Mum says she is on a bit of a die-ett which means she can't have so much food but dad still puts lots on her plate and then I have to help her because she doesn't like leaving food (sensible mum) and SOMEONE has to eat it. I do lots of staring at her and doing the I-love-you-so-much-and-I'm-starving eyes. So die-etts are good if your mum has one.
I bought my mum a watering can from the garden this morning. It is a special watering can with holes in it.... So the water comes out weally easy now! I love my mum... Benson..
I heard my mum saying that water came out too fast from her big watering can, so I found it in the garden and, after a bit of a chew, I fixed it! Water can't come out as quick from a squished spout. I am very helpful and clever and injenius. Luna
My mum started talking about the die-ets today! Apparently I "putton" 400 grams so I need to watch my weight. How do I watch my weight? Look at my tummy?
Things are a bit strange round here too. Something even worse than a diet - no walks I don't know what's going on. Mum's been away for ages and now she's back but she's not taken me out once. Dad takes me out on a lead and doesn't let me say hello to any other dogs. And this is a bit embarrassing, but I have these..... feelings.... I keep thinking about handsome boy dogs and come over a bit funny. Mum and Dad need to understand that I'm not a pup any more and I should be allowed out at night to meet boys. But despite barking as clearly as any dog could bark they just don't get it. What with diets and no walks it's very difficult times for forum dogs at the moment. Solidarity, comrades! Love, Jess