Hi everyone, We're really struggling at the moment. A couple of weeks ago, we moved Stampy's crate near my parents bed - he can see them through an open side, but the rest is covered for darkness, and he's about 2m away. This helped us avoid barking in the morning because now they can hear Stampy shift to get up, preventing the need for him to bark altogether. For a while, this was great. He still wakes up at 5, but he wouldn't bark, and he was actually sleeping through the nights most nights. Then he got an upset tummy a few nights ago. He woke up every hour with loose motions, and threw up once. He's recovered now, vet said he was all good, and his poos are solid again. However, even though autumn is approaching and the sun rises later in the day, Stampy is waking up earlier. Today he woke up at 4, and was barking so much! Usually if we ignore it, he stops eventually, but today it kept going for almost 3 hours. Everyone is stressed and has lost sleep because of this, and we don't know what to do. My dad is already unwell, and busy with work (though he works from home), and this has really taken a toll on him especially. I'm just not sure how much more of this we can take - though Stampy is almost never physically left alone, we still have very busy lives. School is back in swing, my university is about to start again too. I thought we'd be making progress with sleep, not going backwards? Any help is appreciated, thanks guys.
I remember when Lilly was about 8 or 9 months she started waking earlier and earlier. I can cope with any time after 6am but before that is the middle of the night! We let her out in case she needed to toilet then popped her back in her crate and ignored her. Mind you, she didn't bark, just whined. Some others have solved this by letting their dogs up on their beds after a pit stop for morning "cuddles". Not to everyone's liking. Could also be making a rod for your own back when Stampy starts barking even earlier to get out his crate. Not really much help, sorry. Continuing to ignore, and not let him out until he is quiet is still probably the best policy I wonder if he is somehow being reinforced for the barking by being "shushed" or talked too when he barks early?
I don't think he's being reinforced - if he wakes in the night, he only gets to go out to the toilet if he's quiet, and he's ignored until 5, when he's let out (coming onto the bed isn't an option for us). We're hoping that he'll start sleeping later as he gets older, he's just 3.5 months now, and most people I've talked to said their pups started sleeping in around 5-6 months? Today he was ignored by everyone because of the barking. I can only hope he behaves today, because it really hurts me not being able to respond to him, even though I know he's 100% fine (just wants attention), and ignoring it will be better for him in the long run. Thanks for the advice.
@jeanine has recently gone through something similar with little Corona. Hopefully she will come and give you some advice
I wonder the same thing. Corona's mom here. I can totally relate to your desperation to get some unbroken sleep. Corona is almost 7 months now and has been sleeping from 10-6:45 for about 3 weeks now. Unlike Stampy though, Corona had NEVER once slept thru the night before that. She had numerous medical issues that required a lot of meds, some of which caused her need to toilet throughout the night. But for the most part, we realize it was us, not her that was the problem. We confused the heck out of her by not being consistent. We tried everything but never stuck to any one thing very long, all in our desperation to get some sleep. She was decrated, at night only, around 4 months, with the intent of sleeping on her bed, on the floor, next to our bed, so we went back to this and stuck with it. Strictly. No paws on the bed, no sleeping on the bed, no 5am toilet breaks, no talking, I even forbade my husband to move around in bed after 5am, for fear of letting Corona know that we were awake. We NEVER got up until the alarm went off. And we did this every single night for about a month before she FINALLY got the picture. I hear her moving about or licking sometimes but she never bothers us until the alarm goes off. I even set it on weekends to make sure it is engrained in her head. Lol. Stampy is still quite young and may still need that 5am toilet break, but I would put him back in his crate and then ignore him, at all costs. Being sick for a few nights was all it took for him to realize that he could wake you up and get out of his crate. He's a smart little guy, really, they catch on so quickly. You will have to be firm in your intent, he will catch on to that quickly too. Good luck!
I think we have accidentally reinforced the barking. When he was up at 5, we'd let him out and that was pretty much the start for the day. It just didn't bother us until now, when the barking has become a real issue. Regardless of barking or no barking, he never slept past 5 to begin with (hence my mild annoyance when people say 6:30-7 is too early). Should we maybe try setting an alarm for 5 for a week, with no interaction before that, and move the clock forward about 10 minutes each week? So he knows the alarm is when humans wake up. Would that help? Sorry I sound so lost (it's because I am). Mornings are really giving me grief and causing so much tension in the whole house. I'm back to fighting off the gremlins telling me getting a puppy was a mistake, and I'm believing them :'(
Hrm, I really don't know if the alarm cue is the right idea. I personally wouldn't do it, but that's just me. In saying that, lots of people use alarms and then set them later and later until they no longer need the early wee. I think what you must do is once he's had his toilet, that you put him back in his crate and ignore ignore ignore. And it's probably going to get worse before it gets better. But if you want him to stay in bed until a civilised hour (which will depend on your routine. If you're a 6 am riser then that's cool, but if your house rises later then Stampy will need to adapt to your routine) you must be consistent. Your family need to buy in to this and understand that without consistency you'll never get there. Yes, sleep will be impaired for weeks, but you'll get there.
At this point, I'm fairly certain we'd be willing to try anything. I'm lucky that my family really appreciates consistency. I just think we messed up big time by trying to prevent morning barking by giving into him, out of fear of complaints from a rather nasty, disliked household in our neighbourhood (all the dog owners around have assured us that couple is grumpy and their rudeness deserves no attention from us). It's also good to know he could adapt if we merely ignore him. Waking up at 6, maybe even 6:30 would be ideal, especially in the colder months (though in Australia, it's not that cold). Perhaps, as he's older, maybe even closer to 7. Mum is fond of the early morning walk, but I worry that stimulates him too much and prevents him being able to settle afterwards. Am I right is saying continuous sleep until a reasonable hour (with NO attention before that, aside from a boring potty break if needed) would be better than our current 5am wake up, a walk, then breakfast, and trying to settle after that? Wait, it sounds pretty stupid when I write it out... but I like reassurance anyway!
I saw a post of yours on a thread the other day where you said you'd taken him out for his 5.30am walk and thought oof that's early! I think you've inadvertently taught him that his day starts at 5am. Stanley used to wake up at 4-5am. I'm not a person who could let them cry because I can't cope with the noise. OH could just block it out but I'd get really on edge with it. When he started to yap I'd go down and let him out for the toilet then pop him behind the baby gate in the kitchen and I'd sit on the couch in the living room where he could still see me but just silently. At first he'd run riot but the time got shorter and shorter until it became a toilet break then I could go back to bed until around 7-7.30. Then one day he just slept through and has ever since. What you're doing at 5am is what Stanley gets at 8-8.30am. Good luck!!
Does he just hate the crate? I had to switch to an X-Pen in my room because Finn just will NOT stop whining in a crate if he knows I'm in the house. If I completely leave the house, he goes to sleep in the crate. It's so weird. Also, have you tried gating him off in the kitchen or some room? Sometimes you have to try crate-alternatives, which is what ended up working for me with Finn, and although Finn doesn't bark, he is a crybaby. Because I've been sick I have to sleep a little extra. Finn wakes up around 7...at first he cried but now he like stomps his feet, it's so weird, so I take him out and then feed him, then leave him in the kitchen for about 2 hours while I get a touch more sleep (I go to bed late). He's fine in there for a few hours but does get restless around 9 and starts whining.
Also, I had tried EVERYTHING with the crate. Blankets. Next to my bed. Increasing time intervals. It wasn't working and I desperately needed sleep so that's why I tried the X-Pen at the suggestion of a trainer. I still haven't tried clicker training him for quiet in the crate, which I want to do. I do want him comfortable with the crate for travel and other things.
One thing I've learnt through trawling through the old threads on the forum, is that everybody has a different routine. There are dogs who get a pre-breakfast walk. There are dogs who get walked at 5 am. There are dogs who get breakfast at 6am. There are dogs who get breakfast at 8am. With a kid and a husband who works shifts, I knew that Xena would never be able to get an early morning walk, and there's too much going on in the house before school to have to deal with a needy dog. So once she was out of the early puppy phase, I implemented plan "boring morning". I get up, she goes out for a wee, I feed the chooks and hang out the washing, she gets breakfast aaaand...she's ignored. Absolutely no play. It took her months and months to get past the "restless morning" phase, but now she has her breakfast and generally (not always) settles down on the sofa to snooze until it's time for her walk. You just do what suits your family dynamic. The early months of first-time puppy ownership are hard, but you'll muddle through and figure it out
@Xena Dog Princess That is so comforting to hear. We are very much muddling through, getting frustrated, tweaking our system, then muddling around a bit more. I'm still not 100% sure about morning walks, even though mum really enjoys them, but I'll see what sort of routine suits us once my uni classes start up (having daily structure and obligations out of the house during the day really help keep me grounded and feeling relaxed, funnily enough - I'm just dying to go back to uni). We also changed where Stampy eats. We no longer bring it through the kitchen doors, where he hangs out, but rather through a door he can't reach, to an area far away from the kitchen, and then call him to us from there... if that makes sense We'll keep at this and see if that changes the annoying barking we get whenever we're near the kitchen (as in, hoping to break the association of "humans in the kitchen = food!"). After today, I realised it wasn't just the morning that's a problem - he's been a really bratty, loud, annoying dog today. I'm wrecked.
My puppy used to wake up at 5:30 on the dot EVERY morning, ready to start her day. I like to start mine around 7, so you can imagine that didn't go well for me. After struggling for weeks wth her whining in the crate when we put her back in, I finally "gave in" and let her on the bed. She would wake up at 5:30, to out to potty and then snooze on the bed with me until I got up. Eventually we decided she could just be on the bed from the start and now she usually sleeps from 10:30-7:30 straight through. I know having the dog on the bed isn't an option for some people but it worked for us.
Emmy used to cry all night in her crate when I first brought her home. My vet told me to try my hardest to leave her in her crate overnight and not pay attention to her cries. I couldn't do it! Once I started letting her sleep in my bed with me, all was well. There's plenty of room in my queen bed and I enjoy the cuddles. Now she goes to bed at 10 PM and wakes up at 7 AM with me. She does start to move around in the morning on the weekends, No sleeping in with this one! It took us a bit to get here. I am sorry you're having so much trouble with Stampy sleeping it really takes a toll on you when you don't get solid sleep. I hope that you find something that works for you and your family!
Sorry no advice as sleeping has never been an issue with Bailey. Just some sympathy for your early starts
I think part of your problem may be what you said upthread that you've 'tried everything'. Too many changes for the pup in a very short time. It takes a lot of time for a pup to get into an established routine - a few weeks. I would decide on what to do, then stick to it for at least three weeks to see if it works.
We've only had two sleeping arrangements for Stampy (aside from the first 5-6 nights he spent next to my room), but we certainly haven't had this new one for too long, maybe about 2 weeks? We'll stick with it for a bit longer (it's also the safest area with the best temperature regulation in the house, so I'm really happy having him there, I'd like to keep this setup). On a side note, the trainer who ran our puppy preschool/socialisation classes is an absolute angel, who also does home visits to advise owners on the best set ups for dogs, so she'll be coming over on Thursday to check our house out. I'm so looking forward to that, I adore her, honestly I think I learnt more from her than the dog did!
Just an update on the situation: I conveyed the advice here to the rest of the family. Unfortunately, my dad insists that we have to avoid barking in the morning by getting up as soon as Stampy wakes up. Stampy doesn't have a chance to bark since he's close enough to be let out as soon as he moves. Dad says there's been progress, since Stampy doesn't wake up at 1am or 3am anymore... just between 4 and 4:30am. I guess he wants to wait it out and hope he starts sleeping later naturally? I asked what the long term plan is, and he doesn't have one. But it's not my call, so I left the issue alone. I'm not the one who has to wake up, I'm on the other side of the house. I'm just very very worried we're creating bigger issues for ourselves in the long run. There's so much tension and I dread every single morning now (doing wonders for my anxiety haha...)
Whose dog is Stampy? Because if he's going to live with your parents forever then let them make a rod for their own back, but if he's not then you've got a problem.
