Separation issues?

Discussion in 'Labrador Puppies' started by blacklabby, May 14, 2015.

  1. blacklabby

    blacklabby Registered Users

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    Hi guys Im new here. I'm pretty nervous to write on here as you'll probably think im incredibly silly owner and I've heard horror stories of abuse people cop on here. Anyway, I'm just looking for some advice. I have a 10 week old lab and hes gorgeous, we play games, training, quiet time etc, he's outside on a confined deck with crate and loads of toys, water food etc when I'm at work, but when I'm home he's inside when I can watch him and then cruises outside when I need to get something done when I can't be watching him. The deck is his little haven, he has a ball out there. We are in a pretty good routine with everything but one thing I'm worried about is sometimes when I need to do something down in the garden with the gates open (so if he was down there he would run out to the cars etc), I leave him on the deck, only so very briefly, like to hang out the washing or carry garden waste out to the bin. He goes crazy as he wants to be next to me, we could have spent 2 hours together or 20 mins together prior and it makes no difference. I leave him with a bone or a treat (yes even when i leave for 30seconds) and he still panics and barks and howls and he even climbed over the barrier and jumped down once (was completely fine, didn't yelp, wasn't sore but I took him for a check up anyway and hes fine). He even did it when there were 1 and 6 other people still with him on the deck and I popped downstairs, still in view of him. I've blocked it all off higher now so he shouldn't be able to jump off at least. I'm just wondering what I should do? I've started doing even smaller stints and waiting for him to be quiet/settle then come back but I literally have him settle for 5seconds max. I'm just out of ideas. It's very weird since he's fine when I leave and go inside, or to work or after I put him to bed at night, no noise or anxiousness but it's just if im on the grass and hes on the deck or vice versa. I obviously keep him with me whenever I can but sometimes that's not possible. Any ideas? I know I sound silly but please don't abuse me, I'm asking for help thus trying to be a good owner.
     
  2. JulieT

    JulieT Registered Users

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    Hello! And a very warm welcome. No-one will "abuse" you here - this is the very, very, special bit of the internet where that doesn't happen. :)

    It sounds like it's something you've just got to get him used to very slowly. So have him on the deck and take one step away, then back and give him a treat (if he is quiet but if you can't manage one step, then just lift a foot). Take it in tiny steps, tossing him treats for no fuss.

    He is a baby - just 10 weeks - they are lovely, but are just little babies at that age, so all sorts of funny things go on in their minds. Don't worry about it, get him used to it slowly and it'll all be fine.
     
  3. Oberon

    Oberon Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    Hi and welcome to the forum! :) It really does sound like you are doing a great job with your puppy. Nothing ever goes perfectly for anyone though, so don't feel that it is unusual that you're experiencing an issue or two - that's 100% normal!

    You are doing the right thing by using small steps and short sessions to get him used to being on the deck alone with you in the garden. You are also doing right to wait till he settles before returning to him, even if it is just a few seconds at the moment.

    It is interesting that it's just when he's on the deck and you're in the yard.... When this happens does it usually involve you walking out the gate (or has it usually involved this in the past)? Maybe he has come to learn that when he's on the deck and you're in the yard then you are going to totally disappear off the property? That makes him anxious - could that be it? I know that you have only had him for a couple of weeks but that is still long enough for him to become very strongly attached to you and to worry when he can see you leave the property.

    What does he do if he is left in the house when you are in the yard, where he can't see you in the yard?

    What is your puppy's name? :) He sounds gorgeous.
     
  4. blacklabby

    blacklabby Registered Users

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    Oh wonderful. I guess sometimes I just need reinforcing that I'm doing the right thing.
    Hey Oberon, I never leave the house by going down the deck stairs, I always go through the house and out the front door, sometimes he watches me go through the house and out the front door and has no issues whatsoever, like literally as soon as I shut the door has walked away and plays with his toys. I've had the neighbours peak out from their deck to check on him and they reckon he's very chilled out, there were building works the other day and she reckons he didn't even look up, their dogs bark really loud and he doesn't even notice just carries on with his toys.
    I actually don't leave him in the house when I'm in the yard because he doesn't want to be, he follows me out, and to be honest I probably wouldn't trust him to stay in there so young at the moment as he's not fully house trained and he'd be likely to chew everything when I'm not up there anyway. But he literally walks under my feet where ever I go. He can be sleeping inside on his mat and I get up quietly to go to the loo and he gets up and follows me haha. The only time it's an issue is either me on the deck and him on the grass or him on the deck and me on the grass. Like if I leave him on the grass to carry the washing up (because I can't carry him and the washing at the same time, I'm pretty coordinated but not that good haha), so I leave him for maybe a minute and he's barking jumping and howling the house down. He just gets fixated on what I'm doing no matter how much cool stuff I've got for him in either place. I'll just continue to do everything I need to and also continue to do the deliberate stepping away each day so he gets used to the fact I'm coming back but I really haven't seen any improvement yet, I thought I would by now so I'll keep persisting as is I guess.
    Thanks very much for your help!
     
  5. Oberon

    Oberon Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    Yes, he would most likely get up to mischief if left alone in the house :) I had in mind (but forgot to say it!) a crate, which can be a safe and secure place for a puppy for those times when you can't watch him. That's one option you could explore - here is an article about it if you are interested: http://www.thelabradorsite.com/crate...abrador-puppy/

    So, it sounds like he is ok being left by himself for a while and that basically he is fine until he actually sees you down there on the grass (or up there on the deck) without him. Would it be worth trying to leave him by going down the deck stairs, so it's not such a sudden reappearence on the grass?

    The important thing is not to return to him while he's making a big fuss. Keep up your approach of only returning when he is quiet. Do persist with it, and don't feel discouraged that you haven't seen much improvement yet. This is one of those things that does take a lot of time, patience and persistence. I would honestly just stick at it :)

    Others may have better ideas than me so stay tuned :)
     
  6. blacklabby

    blacklabby Registered Users

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    Thanks so much. It was kind of better the two times I tried tonight, more whining/whimpering rather then barking, I guess that's improvement! I'll def stay tuned for other suggestions! Thank you.
     
  7. Oberon

    Oberon Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    That's good - hope he steadily relaxes and quietens down with more time :)

    Sometimes you can find that just before they fully give up a behaviour like barking they have a last ditch go at redoubling their efforts. It's call the 'extinction burst'. People think 'oh no! things are getting even worse!'. But actually the extinction burst is a sign that you're making great progress. So don't worry if it suddenly peaks again - just keep doing what you're doing :)
     
  8. Rosie

    Rosie Registered Users

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    I've nothing to add to all this great advice.... but just wanted to say welcome to the forum! (What is your boy's name?)

    Rosie (and a huge gentle giant yellow labrador called Pongo)
     
  9. MaccieD

    MaccieD Guest

    Like Rosie I have nothing to add, there's some great advice already given by Julie T and Oberon, and just wanted to say Hi and welcome.
     
  10. Mollly

    Mollly Registered Users

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    Hello from 19 month old Molly and. Me.

    As Julie says, he is still a baby.
     
  11. blacklabby

    blacklabby Registered Users

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    Hi everyone! Thanks for your help and warm welcome. This is such a great positive forum compared to what I've been on before, I got ridiculed beyond belief when obviously you have to be a caring owner to spend the time to come onto things like this for advice - thus a bit disheartening. It's great to have supportive people when going through this, raising a puppy is so hard, especially on your own. Not getting a break even to go to the toilet for 1 minute can be extremely exhausting, especially when I'm having these separation issues with him but he's getting a little tiny bit better all the time, he's still so young. He's heaps of fun and I'm sure we're going to have a brilliant life together.
     
  12. drjs@5

    drjs@5 Registered Users

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    Hi there.
    I think I missed this thread originally.
    glad things are a little better....its a steep learning curve.
    You have come to the right place though. This forum is amazingly supportive.
    What is your little one's name?
     
  13. blacklabby

    blacklabby Registered Users

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    Thanks guys, seems we have gone backwards again, he was getting slightly better when I walked away and he was sleeping through the night but now he's back worse again and now he's waking in the night and barking aswell as waking in the morning and barking. Any suggestions?
     
  14. Oberon

    Oberon Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    Sorry to hear that things have gone a bit backwards. It sounds like you might not be getting a lot of sleep, which I'm sure is not helping.

    Whereabouts does your pup sleep at night ?
     
  15. blacklabby

    blacklabby Registered Users

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    He sleeps in a crate attached to a play pen because he hated he crate too much.
     

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