Re: Serious help needed please! The cafe idea is excellent If other dogs appear just prevent her from being touched by them - get up and also move away if you have to. It is so important that she be exposed to new experiences. Taking her into work was exactly the right thing to do Sitting outside a school or shopping centre is also a really good way to attract people aka 'puppy socialisation assistants'. As far as your own social life goes, well, you might be surprised just how many fun and social things you can do with a dog. Our dog often comes with us if we go to people's houses for dinner. Plus we have become quite involved with the dog club and have met heaps of people through that. We try to involve our dog whenever we can but we still do a lot without him. We go out for dinner by ourselves, shopping, day trips...we just take him on a good long walk first and he's fine to be left for a while. They don't need company 24/7. My dog is at home alone 2 days a week while we work (the other days we have daycare/dog walker. We did do 4 days a week of day care till he was about 1 and a half though, then we gradually reduced it a to 1 day of day care and 2 days of midday walks (we also walk him every morning and he has a lot more activity on weekends....plus I actually have every second Friday off work so in those weeks he only has 1 boring weekday, Tuesdays).
Re: Serious help needed please! i have got to agree with julie, good luck with whatever decision you make
Re: Serious help needed please! [quote author=JulieT link=topic=7707.msg108071#msg108071 date=1410205557] [quote author=Goldieminnie14 link=topic=7707.msg108052#msg108052 date=1410203749] Maybe being cooped up over the weekend added to my stress levels too, because pup isn't allowed out on walks i felt house bound which isn't me at all. [/quote] You need to put pup in a baby sling or front rucksack, and get out of the house - show her streets, trains, cars, buses, busy highstreets...just don't put her down. Wait until she has had a poo and a pee, and get walking (carrying). [/quote] Oh Lord, my pup would eat my face off if I put her in a sling. I wish she was calm enough for one.
Re: Serious help needed please! Hi there. With my first puppy I stayed with family for a month for moral support, with pup number 2 I only stayed with family for a week or so, then went solo. Im single so like you when your hubby is away I started to feel a bit stir crazy after a few days so I just decided pup no 2 was coming everywhere with me and my other pup (9 months at that time) and he did! Carted him about in a rucksack on my front for three and a half weeks. He did loads! As well as the everyday life stuff (was mildly challenging getting on a bus with one almost full grown labrador on lead and one wriggling with excitement bagged puppy) we sat outside schools and had a sandwhich, wandered round the city, went for coffee etc etc and we were never alone, a pup is a real people magnet! Little bits of cheese helped with the wriggling in cafes . He's grown into a pretty bomb proof adult dog when it comes to being scared by anything - nothing bothers him, and I think a lot to do with his busy early weeks! In terms of social life yes as others have said it needs to to be adapted if you are going to involve your dog, and if they spend fairly long periods home alone then personally I think they need to be involved whenever you can Mine learnt at an early age Pub and Cafe etiquette - started with just very short visits with kongs to occupy, now they will just go to sleep for a two or three hours, pubs that allow them on sofas are the best as they just chill happily next to you, or under the table if not, my youngest is better at this, he'll just chill anywhere, his elder sister needs a really good walk or game of ball beforehand to settle..
Re: Serious help needed please! Personally, I know this is hard but if you feel like this now, it will not get any better. My Hubby and I have rotated our whole lives around our pup, he is at home and I am at work, also having a very stressful job and not getting much sleep. We know and already thoroughly talked through the pressure it would have on our relationship. If you are already upset that it is disrupting your relationship I really think you should give that pup up now.....we are fully committed to knowing that this could take a year or more before things settle a bit. Puppies are always rehomed quickly BUT I really think that you should contact your nearest Labrador Rescue (there are quite a few around the country) as they have more experience with them and they have members waiting for pups. Once you have done this, know, that this was the best thing for the pup and dont get another dog until you have fully contemplated what will happen. Im not saying we were fully prepared for everything but we were prepared to live our lives around the pup. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you do it now, whether it be organising dog sitting etc, dont delay as this will affect the pup in some way. Finally, well done to you for reaching out to everyone on here......I may not be giving the right advice, it is just my opinion....however let us know what you have decided x
Re: Serious help needed please! I applaud other posters on here.... Very respectful and warm in your responses. I will bite my tongue on matters past... Going into the next few weeks you have got to do what is best for the dog... whatever mistakes have already been made....I'm afraid that taking a few hours off here and there is just not good enough. Waiting around for another week to arrange the puppy sitter is not good enough. They are a huge commitment and very big sacrifices have to be made to make it work... ; taking your annual holiday, arranging flexible working, getting a puppy sitter, mobilising family/friends... these are all things which I'm sure you appreciate by now should have been considered a long long time ago.... the pup needs a lot of attention and care in these early few weeks.. and then as an 'adult' will need a good deal also... if you cannot do this then I'm afraid you should do the right thing and give this little Pup up. Good luck.
Re: Serious help needed please! On the other hand....lots of people don't have ideal arrangements in place, and their pups turn out fine. Loads of dogs live in busy households where they are not the sun, moon and stars, and cope just fine. And loads of people work full time in busy jobs, and just do their very best with puppy care - which isn't always perfect - and the dog is just fine. As for a strain on a relationship - my and my OH can't take the dog for a walk together without arguing over whose turn it is to be the dummy thrower....and we had the worst row ever when OH stood in the mop bucket, on a bad toilet training day, on his way out to work a few days after Charlie arrived. Charlie still does just fine. So do we. Goldieminnie14 sounds like she is the kind of person to weigh things up carefully, and make a good decision. She's the one who knows whether keeping the pup is the best thing for her, her family, and the pup.
Re: Serious help needed please! [quote author=JulieT link=topic=7707.msg108272#msg108272 date=1410270699] As for a strain on a relationship - my and my OH can't take the dog for a walk together without arguing over whose turn it is to be the dummy thrower....and we had the worst row ever when OH stood in the mop bucket, on a bad toilet training day, on his way out to work a few days after Charlie arrived. Charlie still does just fine. So do we. [/quote] LOL ;D We've just been discussing the next puppy and we're going to have to do our best as we both have to work and our toddler is our first priority. None of that means our pup won't get attention however. In some ways I think some of the challenges I have with Rileys training is borne out of being an "only child" dog. He has had to learn that the world doesn't revolve around him and his wants/desires. There is a balance to be struck as with all things.
Re: Serious help needed please! I totally agree , and whilst we only want what is best for this puppy , I think we should respect the OP`s right to do what she feels is best .
Re: Serious help needed please! There are many, many instances of people who work full time, who have wonderfully socialized and happy dogs. And there are many, many instances of people who are home all the time who mistreat, starve, ignore and abuse their dogs. The issue is not simply whether someone is home or not; it is how much thought, effort, love and training goes into looking after the dog.
Re: Serious help needed please! Puppies are always rehomed quickly BUT I really think that you should contact your nearest Labrador Rescue (there are quite a few around the country) as they have more experience with them and they have members waiting for pups. Once you have done this, know, that this was the best thing for the pup and dont get another dog until you have fully contemplated what will happen. Quoting what I have written above, what I meant was, is that if you decided to give the pup up, know that you have made the right decision for your self. I didnt mean that you should give the pup up, Im just saying that whatever you decide, even if you decide to get sitters or whatever, you know that you thought it out and that you made the right decision x .....and althought it may sound like it, my world doesnt evolve around the pup just that we have the time to train...(Exactly Karen..some pups need less time, some pups need more time)....even if that means going out and coming home (increasing the time he is left) etc, etc. Socialising the pup, not seeing enough of each other etc, etc Im just saying that it takes a lot longer than most people think. Myself included. I really hope that she keeps the pup, if she can work it out that would be great....if she cant then deal with it now rather than later x
Re: Serious help needed please! Can I just recommend a shopping trolley if your pup is too heavy I found Elsie squirmed and was too heavy for me to cope with, but pop her in the trolley and she was fine popping her head out the top to say hello to people.
Re: Serious help needed please! hi, im so sorry for the situation you are in right now,i cant offer any advise,i know you will eventually do the right thing for you and the puppy, all of us can vouch that the first few weeks are very very hard,i honestly had such a wake up call when we got meg,although i thought i was prepared,
Re: Serious help needed please! Sorry if you are having trouble misunderstanding my posts bryn_diesel... I did take full responsibility for not planning ahead well enough in my first post. I also mentioned I cannot take annual leave when I choose and my job is not flexible. My job is my job and I'm glad to have it. Pretty sure I also said there is only one dog walker in the area and I contacted her to find she is fully booked this week, I can only work with what I have, unfortunately I can't make dog walkers appear in the area if there are none. I also said my family are not dog lovers therefore they can't really help- they work too. Sorry if any of that has been unclear to you in previous posts, you just seemed to repeat what I had already given answers to. Again thanks to so many of you for your helpful words, they are very much appreciated. A couple of days now until the weekend so will get to spend full days with my pup and then my partner is home so I will have some help and we'll take it from there
Re: Serious help needed please! Hi there, I wondered if you are you friendly with your neighbours maybe they could help out a little? A stay at home mum, a trustworthy teenager maybe would like the opportunity to sit and play with your puppy let it outside a few times a day? I am sure with the weekend coming up you and your partner can settle down talk and find a way through this, and if not we are all here to listen and support you, also help if we can. xx Where do you live you never know there might be someone on the forum that could help? x
Re: Serious help needed please! I really hope you can resolve this situation for the sake of your puppy when your partner is home at the weekend. Sorry, but it actually makes me feel quite upset to think that a 9 week old puppy is spending most of its day on its own with no human company. Chloe
Re: Serious help needed please! The OP has said that that is the intention - to work out a plan on the weekend. Where there's a will, there's a way, and I'm certain that the OP is very highly motivated to reach a solution that is good for them and their puppy. Sometimes it is hard to really understand the impact of a decision before you make it. We've all been there, so be wary of casting the first stone.
Re: Serious help needed please! [quote author=charlie link=topic=7707.msg108564#msg108564 date=1410359870] Where do you live you never know there might be someone on the forum that could help? x [/quote] Great idea Helen,if my circumstances could allow I would help in a heartbeat if I was close by x
Re: Serious help needed please! [quote author=Dexter link=topic=7707.msg108616#msg108616 date=1410380315] [quote author=charlie link=topic=7707.msg108564#msg108564 date=1410359870] Where do you live you never know there might be someone on the forum that could help? x [/quote] Great idea Helen,my circumstances allow so I would help in a heartbeat if I was close by x [/quote] Me too Angela, you never know so here's hoping xx
