Sigh. I think I was snappy last night about training

Goodness! I can't imagine anyone taking my dog off me and manhandling him. How completely inappropriate and upsetting for you.

Unlike most people here it seems I do sometimes put my dogs away when we have guests round. It takes the pressure off them to behave, the pressure off me to ensure they do and means guests (especially the little ones) can relax if they're not super keen on dogs. Lizzie and her friends can get pretty rowdy! I also don't want young children who don't know how to behave around dogs to put themselves or my dogs at any risk. I figure I've invited these people into my home and their needs, for a short period of time, are important too.

If they're not dog people it's only going to be a short visit anyway as the dog hair will drive them out LOL

 

Sounds like you have moved on from that Set of friends......
Good girl Harley x

 

Friends ? I reckon you did brilliantly to not lose your temper , your home , your rules . I would certainly put my dogs in another room if they were not trustworthy around people/children, but not in this case . What messages are these parents giving off if they snatch their child up every time a dog comes close ? What a good girl Harley was , bless x

 

Oh absolutely Sophie, these people are not actually what I would call friends but the husband and my DH get on well. And all in all the husband means well, he is just poorly educated when it comes to things like positive reinforcement and he is a macho type so I don't think his ego can handle it. It is tough making couple friends and most of my friends are either fellow therapist and in the medical field so poor DH is generally swamped by "shop" talk.
At the end of the evening I, very assertively, made plans for DH and the husband to spend time together on their own. I have spoken about it before but my house is my sanctuary and I am far happier reading a book on the couch while DH builds some new robot or whatever than having people around. So, trust me, an invite will not be extended again. I am incredibly stingy with my home/family time. And yes, passive agressive behaviour really brings out the worst in me. It actually brings out quite aa confrontation side to me and I don't like that so I enjoy people who are straight forward and say what they mean.

 

I really don't like people like that. My MIL is similar and I have taken Harley out for a walk the few times she has been at my house. She popped in yesterday, said Hi to Harley in a really excited voice then shouted and pushed her into a sit when Harley went to jump!! She then told me Harley was getting 'chubby' when she has actually lost 1kg over the past few weeks! I was so annoyed that I went outside with Harley and didn't come in until she left 5 mins later.

 

Argh, it's so very annoying when someone tries to impose their way of interacting with animals on your dog!!!! Wonder how they would have felt if you had taken hold of the toddler and put her firmly on the floor...

 

Wow how rude to treat Harley this way and you I think @bbrown is right, it also depends on the visitors. Sometimes I do put Hattie & Charlie in another room and other times they can be with us depending on the friends. Only yesterday my best friend called round but with two visitors from Australia that I had never met, rude doesn't cover it, the older chap grabbed Charlie round the muzzle and shook him, he then made Hattie squeal. Needless to say I removed my dogs, my BF could see how angry I was getting so made their excuses to leave. I didn't say anything to her friends as I didn't want to upset my BF. It was very difficult and I am still seething xx

Hope you are OK. xx

 

I don't get why anyone do that I just don't. I'm so sorry they upset you it sounds awful

 

I really think that if anyone grabbed either my dogs or - heavens! - made one of them squeal, ESPECIALLY in my own house, that would be it, they would never want to come back again!!!

That said, if I know that we are having visitors round who are uncertain with dogs, or if we have a party or something, then I put Poppy in the studio, where she feels secure, and just let her in once she seems calm and happy, as she can be a bit funny with strangers. (I'll never forget the time we had a couple round for drinks, and the husband thought it was a good idea to bend down to Poppy and stare her hard in the eyes... two of her worst things! ) I think it'll be different with Merlin, who is such an outgoing kind of chap. But if someone came to visit with a very small child, I do think I would be likely to put the dogs in another room, at least to begin with, until I was more certain of the situation from both the child's and the dogs' point of view.

 

Putting all the "uncomfortableness" aside, I'm just wondering how someone thinks it's ok to man-handle someone else's dog, whilst visiting as a guest, in someone else's house?

 

As a man who would have once upon a time forced a sit or even exerted some forms of dominance over family pets, I would never grab or interfere with someone else's; especially if I knew they were in training. As for being rude, I threatened to send my MIL back to another continent if she even looked at Dugan yet alone touched him. I have friends who aren't welcome in my home because of their views on animal discipline, so I say you acted perfectly. What I do before company comes over is warm then that we are training and ask for their kind assistance or give them the option not to come. Then I found out my wife secretly warned everyone how "anal he is about the dog" behind my back. Lol. Worked for me and as a result I now have a non barking 13 month old with an incredibly soft mouth. 100% recall who doesn't jump and absolutely loves toddlers. The worst thing I have to worry about now is him wandering around with a shoe in his mouth from a visitor while he wags his tail. A testament to positive reinforcement training. I'm so happy I found Pippa, all of you and the Labrador forum.

 

LOL! Oh my gosh, this is Harley exactly! She gets that adorable, silly face and walks around with the shoe from person to person with her tail wagging. I adore it but we have to be careful because if we pay this behaviour too much attention she will do it ALL the time.