I’ve had parents storm off mad because I wouldn’t let their kids pet my puppy. Ultimately I have a responsibility to my animal as they have to their kids. It shouldn’t be an issue. They should be thankful. I say no because I’m training as well as for safety reasons. I only hope other dog owners would do the same to my young animal loving daughters. It too, as mentioned above, amazes me how people think it’s their god given right to pet any dog they see.
I had a lady with a child averse toy poodle in one of my classes. She had a special lead for him ("give me space" or similar), would verbally warn people with kids approaching in the other direction, and still she had problems with kids barging up to him. It must be so frustrating to be doing everything you can and to still have people ignoring you. I do like @SwampDonkey's approach of "MY DOG'S GOT RABIES", that could be worth a shot...course, kids probably have no idea what rabies is outside of North America.
Wispa now has a ‘caution - anxious dog may overreact’ orange flash on her lead, suggested by the vet. Of course it doesn’t take away the need to try to train her out of her anxieties, but I’ve found that it does just give me a bit more time to try to control the situation. There are still those who ignore it, like the dad who said, “She’s got dogs at home!” when I stopped his little girl from rushing up to the dogs. I felt like saying, “Well, she ought to know better, then!” Wispa doesn’t always react - it depends on the day, the situation, her mood... who knows?! She’s also brilliant with my grandchildren. However, I think the visible warning is useful.
Training and desensitisation is good. Very good. But you may never get a dog that is happy to interact with children. We have to take the dog's personality into account and some just don't like kids. That's cool, nor do I. No amount of feeding me sausage rolls and bacon butties in their proximity is going to change my mind about that. They're loud, irrational, constantly moving, horrible little things. I put up with them sometimes and make the right noises because I have to, but that's it. We need to respect our dogs' right to say "this is something I really don't like" and not get it into our heads that "they must be good with kids because all Labradors are". It is often different with children in the home environment, although you should be very careful to ensure that you introduce a baby in as sympathetic way as possible to the established dog. I fear many new parents are so besotted with their new child that the dog can get a bit neglected and the parents don't spend the time to work on the dog being happy around the new addition, routine and everything else that can upset the dog. I guess it's understandable because their entire lives have been turned upside down, too, but in an ideal world they would try to consider that the dog didn't ask for any of this! So I'd encourage you to get a solid plan together on how you're going to work your day around the dog's needs before a baby comes along. In my mind, the baby is no more important than your existing family member. More needy, for sure, but not more important. You may find that, once your (for now, still hypothetical!) child is older, s/he and the dog have a great bond - but he still can't be trusted with other children. I have a friend with a cocker spaniel just like this. He is fine with the two young children in the household, but has to be put away when other kids come around as he won't tolerate them. Especially boys. Hmmm, maybe that's something thats been trained by the owners to keep suitors away from their girls when they reach that age
I'm actually concerned (and my family & friends all 100% agree with me) that should me & OH have a baby I'd be so happy to have 9 months off with Stanley I'd forget about the baby
Maybe we are lucky: the majority of children we meet always ask if they can say hello to our dog first. Having a dog who was happy to be around children was essential for us. We actively encouraged supervised ‘meet ups’ with our dog and friend’s children from an early age. To me this was just part of his puppy socialisation process. Our dog doesn’t bat an eyelid at a house full of excitable boys running around the place. Wish I could say the same for myself! Maybe going a bit against the grain of the thread here, but some dog owners can be equally as irresponsible as parents. I have lost count of the number of dog owners who thought it was acceptable for their young dogs to come bounding up to us and jump up at my son (a few knocking him to the floor when he was younger). I know, as the owners were always too quick to point out, ‘they are just being friendly’. After all, aren’t young dogs ‘loud, irrational, constantly moving’ and, when they have just knocked my son over, ‘horrible little things’ . Luckily, my son was never worried by this, but I know that could be enough to put the fear of god into some children. It always saddens me how many children and adults we meet that are afraid dogs. I'd be so happy to have 9 months off with Stanley I'd forget about the baby… trust me , Jen, the baby will let you know that it is there
No you are absolutely correct. There are many irresponsible owners as well. Although I don't have young children I get seriously annoyed by people letting their dog come bounding over and jumping all over mine with a shouted 'It's ok, he/she only wants to play or 'he/she is friendly'. It is not ok ! I decide for my dog who she greets/meets/plays with and when not some stranger.
Indeed, puppies can be quite horrible! Luckily, they grow out of that a lot faster than human children do
Agreed -- I get really het up when I'm trying to get Cassie to behave with even slight decorum and other people insist on approaching with child/dog/themselves to say "hello".
Yep, same for me. My own family are grown ups now, no grandchildren, but children in the family who I knew she would meet 2/3 times a year. I took her to places and events where I knew children would be when she was small, just so she could see just how loud, quick and unpredictable children are. And I'm pleased I did, when she met them she was good as gold and very gentle. The older one particularly is really interested and I enjoyed the interaction between them and doing some simple training together. However the thought of Cassie meeting excitable children and herself getting excited and descending into the leaping nipping maniac she still can be fills be with horror, so all her meetings with children need to be managed. It can be so difficult when kids and their parents just won't listen.
I think it's a good idea to slowly and carefully get your dog used to your nieces and nephew, especially if they are of an age where you can explain that they are helping your dog. Children can react well to having a role to play and having a sense of responsibility especially if clear boundaries are set in place. Obviously this all needs to be strictly supervised and taken with small steps. As others say it's better to warn off other strange children. Our usual walk goes past a park and a kids play are so there are usually children around, especially young ones. Since Homer was a young puppy I noticed the little ones who'd point to him or parents who point him out to their child " look puppy". So I then initiate the greeting before the child gets too close. "Would you like to say Hello, he is friendly" This way the interaction is on my terms and I'll often kindly remind children and parents that not all dogs are friendly and you must ask first.
We have just come back from a walk at a popular tourist destination where there were lots of families with young children. In such situations I am always aware that there may be young children keen to meet our dog (and others who are just as keen not to). Like Jes72, I also try to initiate such greetings making sure our dog is sitting and calm before the children approach. Young children, like young dogs, are excitable, lack self-control and are still learning about the word around them. The young child that rushes up to a dog does not do so to cause stress to the dog or the owner (though I do appreciate that if your dog is nervous this must be a very stressful situation and action is needed to stop the child approaching). Yes, the parents should be teaching children how to interact with dogs, but I believe that dog owners have some responsibility too. Simply ‘telling the child off’ is hardly going to leave a child with a positive experience of dogs or dog owners! Just like dogs, young children respond far better to encouragement and praise than adverse methods. Modelling the behaviour you expect, and explaining why it is necessary if they are old enough to understand, will be far more beneficial in the long run and may help prevent the child running up to a nervous dog in future.
Meh, if an unfamiliar dog runs up to my dogs, I will square up to it, growl and shout at it to get it to go away. I have no qualms about doing the same if a child runs up to my dogs. My job is protecting my dogs, not teaching someone else's dog or child
A shame you feel this way (and rather worrying if you feel you need to growl at children in order to protect your dogs). For a Forum that does such a good job at promoting positive dog training it is rather disheartening to see it fail to promote positive interactions between dogs and children.
On a good note, Max has been superb with all the dogs we've recently met. That was another one we weren't 100% sure about. He met a 125lb Newfoundland today at the dog park. They played a little chase together then both mosied around together sniffing everything. It's as though he's finally learning body language from other dogs and knows not to pester them. He has had a lot more interactions with calm large dogs which I think has been incredibly beneficial for him. I think it's rubber off a bit. When we first got to the dog park it was just us and we couldn't keep him focused on his ball with all the smells, but we found an old flattened ripped up frisbee and he was absolutely thrilled with it! I think I will buy him a new frisbee, plastic instead of cloth and run over it a few times with my car. It's almost like toddlers when you buy them new fancy toy and they prefer a box of tissues instead .
Like I said, I am protecting my dogs. Two of my dogs are scared of children and are reactive; they could lunge and bark. If they did that and someone reported them as being dangerous, I could find myself and them in trouble. So, yes, I'm happy to growl at a fast-approaching child to protect my dogs from that. And, yes, it has been necessary. If you haven't found it so because you have a chilled-out dog and/or have never met a child who has wanted to growl/bark at or smack your dog, then that's wonderful for you. My third dog, Luna, wouldn't bat an eyelid. Please don't think for an instant that I don't work to make my dogs feel more comfortable around children. If you look through the forum, you will see countless posts of my journey doing just that, and they have made massive strides. But I cannot and will not ever trust them around children. It's too dangerous to think I ever could. So, yes, again, in the interest of "positive interactions" between my two older dogs and children, that means sometimes I have to be rude to the children. They'll get over it. My dogs might not get over it if I let the child "attack" them. As an aside, I am not the voice of the forum; many members and the other moderators will often disagree with me. I'm cool with that. So just because I'm happy to be rude to children, it doesn't mean that is what "the forum" is promoting. It's just my personal approach.
Maybe your kids are nice ones who have been bought up to be kind and thoughtful unfortunately I have been abused spat at threatened and my dogs have been frightened by kids, their parents have then abused me when I have tried to keep my dogs safe. My puppy was slapped repeatedly on the head by a small child I had to stop him his dad thought it was fine. This is what I deal with daily I avoid kids if I can and leash my dog if I can't. Other people's children are not my responsibility and I have learned from bitter experience that being nice and kind is wasted on some people because it's not something they understand or respond to. I protect my dogs I've seen how some kids and adults behave and like my dogs better. In an ideal world I would love to promote good relations between kids and dogs but the way things are you dogs life is on the line and I don't risk mine. Yes there are good kids out there but you don't find out which ones they are until your dogs in trouble. I Don't risk things which I love.
