Suggested titles for more books from Pippa

I love Pippa's books and the advice works - so I think we should come up with more titles for her to work on - here are my random first thoughts for a mini series of booklets entitled:

How to teach your lab to STOP:

Scooting it's bum along the carpet ( two sections - 1. when there's just us in and 2. the more advanced when guests are present)

Eating stinky poo ( it's own and every other creatures on the planet)

Rogering the other pups at dog training

Licking the inside of the dishwasher

and lastly perhaps a couple of pamphlets entitled:

Yes, I'm speaking to you - now:

Please get the h*ll off the soft furnishings

For the love of God stop de-stuffing your v. expensive dog beds (then you wouldn't need to keep getting on the settee!)

I think these would be best sellers ( possibly with film rights)

 

Ahh....I sense your frustration

 

Oh yes, I think we can come up with some good ones for this list....

 

Wonderful

 

Just thought of some handy hints for a pamphlet to be given to non dog owning guests coming to stay:

1.be aware there may well be dog hairs in the cutlery drawer
2. the tea and coffee cupboard will also house cardboard envelopes stating 'your pets parasite treatment'
3. the dogs are not allowed upstairs but be prepared to meet them on the landing on a regular basis and if you are just out of the shower they will attempt to lick your legs dry
4. they are not allowed in the dining room, if they you invite them in be prepared for the subsequent 'pool of drool' as you are eating lunch, if you shut them out, lunch will be ruined anyway as you will be aware of their silent presence behind the door waiting for scraps, you will then bolt your food so as not to keep them waiting

 

I'd like to see a new Pippa book:
Title: "Daddy is Special".
Sub-title: "How to teach your dog that the behaviour encouraged as highly amusing by your OH is NOT appropriate with other members of the family or visitors".

Chapters please on:
1. taking food directly from the human's mouth.
2. "the nippy game" form of all-out wrestling.
3. leaping up to waltz romantically around the room with the human.
4. licking all parts of the human's body. Especially some parts.

Thank you Pippa.

 

from Ear to Maternity. A long film about labradors