Those days when the loss hits you

Discussion in 'Senior Labradors' started by Tammy Cooke, Oct 23, 2017.

  1. Tammy Cooke

    Tammy Cooke Registered Users

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    so yesterday was out walking with partner and 4 year old Labrador, singing her praises for how good she is and how much she's come onin the 2 years we've had her. We are getting a puppy on the 25th November and I thought to myself how good it'll be to be out with both of them.
    I looked at my watch to see how many days it'll be before we collect her.
    It was the 22nd, my heart broke, it would have been Sadie's 15th Birthday, I'd forgotten it. I remember earlier last week but the actual day I'd forgotten it was her birthday.

    Does this mean I'm forgetting her. I feel so guilty. Cried yesterday and was really out of sorts and same again today!!
     
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  2. 20180815

    20180815 Guest

    You’ll never forget her! Your focus is on your 4 yr old Lab and your puppy to-be, which I’m sure is how Sadie would want it to be. It certainly in no way means Sadie is forgotten or loved any less for it :hug:

    Happy birthday Sadie :heart:
     
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  3. SwampDonkey

    SwampDonkey Registered Users

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    Dates don't matter we always love them
     
  4. Karen

    Karen Registered Users

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    Ah yes I so understand this... Suddenly something will happen that will remind you so keenly of your old loved dogs...
     
  5. Pilatelover

    Pilatelover Registered Users

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    No you are not forgetting her, dates are unimportant. You obviously loved her so much. :heart:
     
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  6. Atemas

    Atemas Registered Users

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    No not at all - don’t feel guilty. :hug:
     
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  7. drjs@5

    drjs@5 Registered Users

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    Lilly is my first dog, but I so totally agree with this @Tammy Cooke .
     
  8. Tammy Cooke

    Tammy Cooke Registered Users

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    Just still hurts so much. Feels like only yesterday, just have one last walk with her, one last hug and one last kiss of her
     
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  9. Granca

    Granca Registered Users

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    No, you're not forgetting her at all and you'll never stop loving her. If anything, it's thanks to your love for Sadie that you have a loving home for your four year old lab and will soon be welcoming a puppy too. :hug:
     
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  10. kateincornwall

    kateincornwall Registered Users

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    Please don't feel bad , it might have slipped your mind , but Sadie hasn't left your heart , always there I know . Hugs xx
     
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  11. kateincornwall

    kateincornwall Registered Users

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    Maybe I could share an analogy I wrote and used to use when I worked for the Blue Cross Pet Bereavement Support Service , it helped lots of others and my own words have helped me too . Grief is like an open wound , it bleeds and hurts like crazy , the pain is horrendous . Then slowly , the wound begins to heal , and it doesn't hurt quite so much , the pain lessens a little until one day , we knock the wound and it opens right up again , the pain as bad as it was in the beginning . Over time , the wound does knit together , but it leaves a scar , a permanent reminder of the wound , it is there always and a part of us but without the pain x
     
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  12. charlie

    charlie Registered Users

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    Sadie will always be in your heart which is filled with love for her, no matter what day, month or year. She is there forever xxx
     
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  13. Stacia

    Stacia Registered Users

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    Having been fine, I cried when I talked to the insurance company this morning. We never forget them underneath, I am sure nature helps us to cope by dulling the memory until the moment it opens like a raw wound.
     
  14. edzbird

    edzbird Registered Users

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    Time means nothing - Sadie remains in your heart for eternity. I will always cry, now and then, for my friends long gone...it's not guilt, it's love.
     
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  15. SwampDonkey

    SwampDonkey Registered Users

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    If i cried about things Doug would look at me and bark until i stopped. He didn't like it so I had to stop it, he didn't want me to be upset. Now when I cry I always think Doug would tell me off and it makes me smile. Even when they are gone they give comfort and can make you happy.
     
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  16. zarathu

    zarathu Guest

    Our Lucky was the kindest dog we ever had(of the six). Whenever we get into a difficult human situation, we say: “What would Lucky do?"
     
  17. Boogie

    Boogie Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    I never remember significant dates, for humans or pets. But my love for them never diminishes.

    Don’t beat yourself up xx
     
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  18. kateincornwall

    kateincornwall Registered Users

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    I don't think anyone needs to feel bad or guilty because they forgot a significant date, or had a day or two without thinking of lost loves . Its ten weeks since Sam died , and I am up and down like a yo-yo , coping wonderfully , feeling strong one day and a quivering weeping wreck the next . Just go with the flow , they never really leave us, paw prints on our heart xxx
     
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  19. CMartin

    CMartin Registered Users

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    Kate and all. I think I may have found some comfort, or at least a way to deal with things, even by fooling myself. I was always talking and thinking about Leão. My husband was left feeling uncomfortable with this, as he loved the dog a great deal too and me always going on was not helping him, as he told me. He is quiet in his sufferings always whilst I feel the need to express myself every chance I get. So, I am now trying his way, I try to think about something else as much as possible when my thoughts go there..and I don't verbalize them so much anymore. I am numbing the pain. Hopefully it will work. Anything is better than the sad longing.
     
  20. Tammy Cooke

    Tammy Cooke Registered Users

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    I guess I’m fortunate in this way, Jim and I talk about her a lot. Mainly the trouble she got up to. But every time we talk of her we smile and now she’s now longer in pain and suffering.

    Thank you for your kind words.
    Tammy x
     
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