Training crossroads - advice needed

Discussion in 'Labrador Training' started by NewLabMommy, Aug 7, 2017.

  1. NewLabMommy

    NewLabMommy Registered Users

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    Max has been in a 6 week group puppy class. We've gotten a little out of it, but to be honest I feel confused on several of the concepts. I am especially lost on important things like recall and "leave it's". I think it's in part that he is so distracted/mouthy/barking in class that I have to focus on quieting and calming him, so I miss parts of the class. Also, I am a bit of a hands on learner and I don't get much opportunity as the teacher has to go through each concept with everyone so there only so much time. I am debating whether I should spend the extra money (4 times as much) on one-on-one training. I can't really afford it but I think it would help immensely. I can take the group class again for free, but if it doesn't work that's another 6 weeks gone. Then I was thinking I wonder if there are books or videos that might work? My husband is not participating in training, it's all up to me and as of now I am overwhelmed and exhausted. Max has not slept well, but I'm hoping with some great recent forum advice to solve that.

    This is my first time training a dog. If I had known how hard a puppy, lab puppy, would be I think I would've rescued an older dog. I am so attached to Max though, as much as he drives me crazy and frustrates me, I cry at the thought of giving him away. I'm just not sure what direction to take. Do I spend more money on training, try to do it cheap, let someone else have him and adopt an older dog? I don't know. :(
     
  2. momofone

    momofone Registered Users

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    I have no advice to offer on the training part, except to say that puppies are just hard. Even when they're delightful they're hard. We recently adopted a (supposedly) two-year-old female Lab, and having trained puppies and training her (and I am by no means an expert!), it's kind of six of one/half a dozen of the other. We are working to help her unlearn some troublesome behaviors her previous owners allowed her to learn, and it is hard too. We love her and wouldn't think of not keeping her, but it's hard and some days feels as if we're making no progress--fortunately there are also days when we can really see her growth, and it makes it so much easier to get ready for the next thing. Don't be too hard on yourself; it's a hard job, and it's ok to say so. And one day you'll realize Max is doing what you want on his own, and then you get to really enjoy him.
     
  3. Jojo83

    Jojo83 Registered Users

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    Hi @NewLabMommy the situation you describe in group classes is one of the main reasons I only work 121 with clients - many of whom have been to group classes and are struggling. That isn't to say that there aren't many good group classes around.
    121 training is not necessarily as expensive as you may think particularly for the level of skills and advice which can be gained in just a few hours.
    Online videos can be helpful but they can't advise you on your training technique and help you improve. Also online videos tend to give the impression that it is quick and easy to train a dog after all usually they are only a few minutes long and take you from the beginning of the training to a new learned behaviour - yes I wish it were as quick:).
    Much of recall training, well any training, is practice, practice and more practice in different locations, situations, distractions but you need a good foundation on which to build.
    An older rescue dog doesn't come with a guarantee that no training will be required. Many have their own training/behaviour issues that need work.
     
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  4. Atemas

    Atemas Registered Users

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    I so identified with a lot of your post. I did a 6 week puppy class and then a 5 week follow on class. It was all highly stressful initially as Red was so over the top and I was so desperately tired and trying to cope with so many new things all at once. Just the car journey to the training venue was a big deal initially :rolleyes:.

    It is extremely hard work training a puppy and although I have a supportive DH, it is me that does the training. I found jotting down the 3 things we did each week helpful but I like you spent a lot of time missing things that were said and done.

    I also had a one to one session thinking this might be more beneficial but actually it wasn't and it made me decide not to do any more 1 to 1 unless absolutely necessary as it is expensive.

    I don't know how old Max is but you will get there and it does get easier.
     
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  5. Jojo83

    Jojo83 Registered Users

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    Sorry, I don't want to hijack the post but I'm interested to know why you felt disappointed in your 121 session? What were your expectations of the session?
     
  6. Boogie

    Boogie Supporting Member Forum Supporter

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    Don't give up, it is very overwhelming at first, especially in puppy class.

    How about watching some good videos and following them for a while? - you can have the lesson repeated as often as you need then.

    .
     
  7. JenBainbridge

    JenBainbridge Registered Users

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    I was also very disappointed with the 121 session I paid for to help with Stanleys separation issues as a pup.

    It cost me £90 and the man came out - he was very nice, extremely positive reinforcement.

    But he spent 3/4 of the session telling me I had Stanley on the wrong food, not to get him vaccinated anymore or he'd get epilepsy and not to neuter him.

    Then spent approx 20 minutes showing me click for quiet which I'd already known about from the site and explained that to him.

    He left and I just felt even more of a failure really.
     
  8. Atemas

    Atemas Registered Users

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    I wanted to learn new things but I didn't. I suppose it made me realise that my own knowledge which I have picked up as I've gone along through various means, was greater than I thought.
     
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  9. snowbunny

    snowbunny Registered Users

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    @NewLabMommy I can understand why you're struggling - Lab puppies are a handful and often find the class environment difficult. Having said that, it can be very beneficial, especially if you can use it simply as an exercise in getting your pup to concentrate on you around other dogs. This would mean that your instructor needs to be happy to have you there doing your own thing, rewarding Max for ignoring the other dogs and focussing on you, performing very basic behaviours in the presence of other dogs etc. If repeating the class is free and your instructor is happy with you sitting to the side and working on these things, then I don't see that you have a lot to lose in attending. You'd just give Max enough distance from the other dogs that he can concentrate on what you're asking, and gradually try to work closer.

    If I were you, I would try to get an understanding of how dogs learn, rather than just training individual skills. This will give you a good basis for all future training. Reading up around clicker training might help as an introduction to this: http://www.thelabradorsite.com/clicker-training-whats-it-all-about/

    Total Recall is a great programme for recall training and helps explain a bit about how dogs think, too.
     
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  10. Atemas

    Atemas Registered Users

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    Just another bit from me @NewLabMommy - the first puppy training session I attended was a nightmare for me and Red. I was almost defeated at the start but I emailed the trainer saying what a stressful experience it was for both of us. She sent a great reply and offered us some individual time in the room next door for the next session. This made a huge difference and we then rejoined the class. So what I am saying is - I learnt that day not to be afraid to say what I am thinking/feeling.
     
  11. SteffiS

    SteffiS Registered Users

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    Ripple was terrible in all our KC classes, he did pass the puppy stage but couldn't manage the bronze. He also spent loads of time totally distracted, getting more and more wound up until he went into a biting frenzy. I persevered with the classes as I thought the socialisation would help him, but quite frankly it never did and I gave up after several months.
    I had a 121 session with a behaviourist when Ripple was around a year old and all the things I learnt I should really have been able to see myself if I'd been able to take a step back.

    Having said all that if I was you I might be tempted to take the 6 week course again if it's free, or at least start it and see how Max is this time. If you opt for 121 you need to be really clear what you want out of it and do lots of research on trainers or, as has happened to others on here, you find you've wasted your money.

    Not to dishearten you, but it has taken Ripple over two years to calm down :eek:, but I think he's a bit of a one off as I've had labs before and never had to work so hard. But it will all be worth it in the end, I'm sure :).
     
  12. Beanwood

    Beanwood Registered Users

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    @NewLabMommy firstly let me (and others...:) ) reassure you that what you are feeling is completely normal! Having a new labrador puppy is exhausting...then taking your pup to classes can sometimes feel like the straw that broke the camels back! Seriously blimmin..hard! With my first pup I gave up going to puppy classes, I struggled through one, and simply couldn't bear the embarrassment, he was lunging, barking...and at the same time I felt I was missing out on valuable training information whilst literally fighting with my chocolate whirlwind. I remember thinking...it is just me? Why is everyone else's puppy so well behaved? Now Benson is 3.5 years old, my soulmate and I just couldn't imagine life without him. He is simply a wonderful dog in every way.

    I have also fostered labradors, a few now actually, and on balance a pup is probably easier. Whilst adopting an older dog is a really good thing to do, it can be a bit of a lottery, meaning they may need a fair bit of input from a canine behaviourist. People don't tend to surrender perfect labradors unfortunately.

    I do however, think that taking a labrador puppy to calm, well structured puppy classes is really useful. Roll on 3 years with a second puppy, a different puppy group and a completely different experience. So shop around maybe. Puppy classes are useful in helping to train important behaviours such as being calm around other dogs, settling on a mat...loose lead walking. Don't however, compare yourself to anyone else! :).It doesn't mean you will come away having nailed some of these skills. but will have hopefully grasped the general concepts and will have someone local to further develop your relationship with your dog in other useful courses/seminars.

    Self learning, through videos are also great adjunct to training, and are a really good way of integrating training in the form of play into your daily schedule with your puppy. The kilko pup videos are a favourite on the forum. Of course, don't forget the labrador site articles, they are a huge source of information covering every aspect of owning a labrador.



    Here is the thread where I share our experiences of puppy classes..

    https://thelabradorforum.com/threads/brambles-training-log.13710/
     
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  13. Jojo83

    Jojo83 Registered Users

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    Had you made the trainer aware of what 'new things' you wanted to learn? Discussed what behaviours you were happy with and what you needed/wanted to improve.
     
  14. Atemas

    Atemas Registered Users

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    Of course. I am not at all critical of the trainer if that's what you are thinking.
     
  15. Peartree

    Peartree Registered Users

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    Absolutely what Snowbunny says! I would do the class again particularly as it's free and concentrate on nothing other than getting your dog to be focussed on you. It may not be possible if you can't get far enough away from the distraction of the other dogs. I spent two puppy lessons with one of my own dogs in the far corner of the field getting him to give me eye contact and sit quietly, nothing else! Don't worry about wasting time doing it, as this is the basis of all your training and once you have this then other things will become easy. Training a dog takes as long as it takes, and each dog is unique, try to enjoy the journey as there's always another level to reach!
     
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  16. NewLabMommy

    NewLabMommy Registered Users

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    First off, thank you all for the kind words and support. My husband and I had a long tough conversation last night (I'm over on the west coast of US). As hard as the past couple months have been, I just can't imagine not having Max. I think I'm going to try the 121s. The biggest issues with Max right now aren't really things we've learned in class, although I am having trouble with those too. The trainer was recommended by the local Labrador rescue club, so I feel like I will be in good hands. I will be sure to detail what exactly I'm looking for with her so we can get the most out of it. If I'm really honest with myself, I just haven't been in a place with my kids home for summer to really focus on Max. I've been super overwhelmed between his needs and my DD who has some mental/emotional disabilities. They go back to school in 9 days (hallelujah) and my routine will allow for dedicated time daily to train Max.

    I do like the idea of going to the free puppy class to help Max get used to the other dogs - I really want to get that under control. He also lunged and barked almost the whole of the 6 weeks despite my efforts.

    It does really help to know that I'm not alone. Thank you!
     
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  17. Rosie

    Rosie Registered Users

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    Just caught up with this, and just wanted to say I absolutely recognise your original post - I went to puppy classes with Pongo and really didn't hear one word the trainer said because I spent the entire time just rapid-firing treats into his mouth to keep him quiet and focused on me. I felt truly awful, despondent and angry. The whole experience was very negative, for me and for Pongo.

    If I'd known what I do now about Labradors, I would absolutely have used the class JUST to give him some lessons in self-control and focus around other dogs (if the trainer was happy for me to do that). All the rest I would have put some time into doing at home first, away from distractions. I think like most labs, Pongo is a very fast learner, but absolutely impossible in the presence of other dogs - he is hard-wired to be sociable and excited, so trying to teach basic obedience from scratch in a really busy (20 dogs) puppy class was always going to be a non-starter. I would have set myself tiny targets (spend two minutes in the corner doing hand-touches with me ignoring other dogs.....spend five minutes.....spend one minute lying down relaxed...two minutes...etc) and they would have been triumphs!

    So you are not alone, in fact quite the opposite. Lab puppies are hard work in that way (and also while going through that crocopup phase)....but they are delightful in other ways, including their intelligence and willingness to learn - when they are in an environment where they can concentrate. I have been a pretty much abject failure when it comes to training, but despite that Pongo is now (aged 3 years) a beautiful, placid, happy boy who is now delighted to greet other dogs and people but in a rather more mature and sensible way!

    Hang in there. It gets much, much better quite soon. You won't regret it.
     
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  18. Jojo83

    Jojo83 Registered Users

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    @NewLabMommy that's good news. I know the trainer has been recommended by Lab Rescue but please check that they use only positive reward/force-free (whatever term being used) training methods. Write down a list of all the behaviours you want help with so you don't forget - I wish all clients were so organised :).
    Good luck with the training and let us know how you get on
     
  19. Plum's mum

    Plum's mum Registered Users

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    @NewLabMommy, I too identify with your post. My pup was very bouncy and lively and distractible at classes but when I look back I realise I was expecting too much and wanting to see results too quickly (I'm not saying that's what you are doing). I would have definitely repeated the course if given the opportunity because I would have had at least some knowledge and would have been able to focus on the areas I felt most concerned about or most strongly about.

    What helped me was that the trainer sent notes out by email after each session to recap what we'd learnt and setting out easy to follow instructions. But I still felt overwhelmed and didn't know what to focus on first, second or third!!

    Having done a fair few training courses now I still feel overwhelmed at times (my pup is 10 months) with all there is to learn and practise. I am on my own too so I know how stressful it can be to have full responsibility. But I also know my pup has learnt so much and I can see those early lessons were connecting with her even though it didn't seem like it at the time.

    I had an initial 121 with the trainer before the classes started which just gave me an introduction to him and his methods with one or two suggestions re stopping my pup jumping up. I then had another because he had to cancel a class but I prefer classes and would only book a 121 if there was a specific issue that I felt unable to work on in class and at home (which you might feel is the case).

    I share your frustrations and distress as I found early puppydom a huge challenge and felt at times I couldn't cope.
    Do what you feel is best for you and your pup.
     
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  20. Stacia

    Stacia Registered Users

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    I think one to ones are valuable especially as you haven't trained a dog before, shows you how to do things correctly. My Lab was difficult in classes but now at aged 5 he is great (not saying you have to wait until Max is 5!), I think Rourke started to improve round about a year old.
     

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