Hello all. My boyfriend and I adopted a large breed puppy last month. I have never had a puppy before as my mom refused to allow us to have dogs growing up, so I knew nothing about training a dog. My boyfriend assured me he had experience with puppies and he knew what to do. Immediately, I noticed he was very mean with the puppy. He constantly yelled at her and would scream, "no" for what I felt was the smallest of things. He rarely loved on the puppy and said he had to establish his dominance so she would listen to him, before loving on her and being nice. The puppy never listened to him and he became increasingly mean with her. He would slap/hit her on the nose for not doing what he thought she should (ie lying on her bed at all times, not getting off her bed, following him down the hall, running ahead of him to the back door, chewing on our fingers/not hard). He would jerk on her leash so hard that her front paws would be lifted off the ground. He constantly screamed at the puppy and very rarely praised her. Initially he used training treats, but he stopped using them as his temper because worse with her. The puppy began having severe anxiety and would poop all over her crate if we left the house for any amount of time, which angered him even more. They would be in a different room, and I would hear him yell at her and then the puppy would start yelping. I asked him what happened and he said he was just trying to make her stay on her bed. He constantly had her on her leash and would only allow her to go maybe three feet away from him at all times, because he was trying to get her to learn to stay by him. A few days ago I again heard the puppy yelping, and walked in to see him slamming the puppy to the floor and holding her by the scruff of her neck. A few minutes later he took her outside and I saw him kick her in the backside to get her to walk. After this happened I sat him down and told him this was not okay and I would not allow him to treat an animal this way. He defended himself and said this was dog training and that you had to be stern so the puppy learned who was boss. I encouraged him to use a clicker and go back to the treats, but he refused and said the dog was too stubborn. I suggested dog training classes, but he refused those as well. He said he knew what he was doing and I had no idea because I've never raised a puppy. Needless to say, I found a new home for the puppy that afternoon, and she is no longer living with us. However, my question is, is this normal? Do you have to be this mean to train a puppy? I'm not stupid, and I will never allow this man to own a puppy again as long as I am with him, but he made me feel like I was totally wrong and this was the right way. It just seemed very mean to me and I would love any insight.
Hi @iamamomma18 Your instincts were correct--your puppy was being abused severely. Your ignorant/sadistic boyfriend should not be left in charge of a puppy ever. I am so angry to hear what he did,. Might I suggest you evaluate whether you want to have a life with such a mean and sadistic person.
You were absolutely correct in removing the poor abused pup from your home, I would report him, I couldn't even begin to tell you what I would do to him given the chance. Thankgod you acted as you did, he is dangerous for any pet, I am so angry reading this and thankful for you for knowing it is not right what he had done, I hope the pup is with someone who will love as they should be loved and show them the kindness and comfort and to live a happy and SAFE life.
You have done the right thing and you must be a very strong person to stand up to your boyfriend in this way. A lot of people still believe in out of date punishment based training methods. It's a shame they don't do a bit of research, as you clearly did, to discover it is not necessary to abuse dogs in this way. If you decide not to stay with your boyfriend and get a dog of your own in the future I think your caring and thoughtful nature will make you a brilliant dog owner.
Are you actually going to stay with him? He sounds like an absolute monster and should be reported to the police for animal cruelty!
You might have saved that puppies life. And I’d question whether or not I’d stay with a partner like that. He was severely abusing that animal and has caused the puppies new owners more hard work than he will ever know if he hasn’t permanently damaged it. Wow. This angers me. That’s not even out dated training, that’s beyond. Good for you. Like already said, you must be a strong woman. I hope he doesn’t treat you like that.
Good God never have children with this man. That poor puppy will be afraid of men from now on and the future owner will have to work on this. Puppies only want to please they learn quicker with kind treatment not harsh abuse. With ill treatment they regress and become timid or agressive. If you ever have a dog in the future NOT EVER while with this man. Enrole on reinforcement training they learn through rewarding good behaviour. It's the person who needs training how to look after the dog properly if you have any problems a good trainer will help you. I beleive everyone who owns dogs should be made to go a training course as so many dogs in rescue have issues that could have been prevented only if they had been trained with loving kind calm treatment.
Abusive people always make excuses for their behaviour be careful if he can do this to an animal who knows you could be next.
I agree with everything that has been said. It is amazing that you have looked out for the puppy, but there is also a clear link between animal abuse and domestic violence. Please take care of yourself.
Hello, Reading this post absolutely crushed me. The way that man treated the puppy was in no way "training" the animal. Instead, it sounds a lot more like using the animal to release his own aggression. This is horrible to hear, but there are so many dog cases like this and absolutely the pup will have to be rehabilitated gently and by a new owner that has the know how. I am relieved to hear that the pup was rehomed and you clearly had the sense to see that through. It's unfortunate that you had to sit back and watch the abuse unfold as long as you did. Some people just cannot own pets. And that extends from lacking knowledge about the breed they choose to not taking the time to do a little research and practicing a little patience with training. I understand that the beginning stages of training can be frustrating, but again with a little patience and consistency any puppy will learn. They tend to learn very fast. I know it's a "could-have, would-have, should-have", at this point since you found a new home for the puppy, but it is possible to file charges of animal abuse while it's happening.
